The Month After Christmas  

mistymommie 41F
353 posts
12/7/2005 9:42 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Month After Christmas

Twas the month after Christmas,

and all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,

the eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties

had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales

there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store

(less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls,

the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can

"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

jackrorabbit 48M
56 posts
12/7/2005 10:30 am

Simply too true, and very funny. Do you mind if I share it with friends for the holiday?

mistymommie 41F

12/7/2005 11:09 am

Nope, please do.


redmustang91 58M  
8924 posts
12/7/2005 11:13 am

Sex is great exercise... and so is walking and weightlifting. Just don't eat while you are doing those activities.

mistymommie 41F

12/7/2005 11:32 am

Ahhh, that takes the fun out of it!!


rm_gsj0788 53M

12/7/2005 11:42 am

Thanks, got a good laugh finnally today. I really love the apple core.

norprin5 56M

12/7/2005 3:56 pm

christmas is over already? thank the gods!!

King Nor XVIII

mistymommie 41F

12/7/2005 4:18 pm

GSJ-glad I could brighten your day.


mistymommie 41F

12/7/2005 4:19 pm

Norprin-Nope, sorry buddy it's still around the corner. Keep wishing though.


mistymommie 41F

12/8/2005 1:36 pm

Isn't it though?! Thought you might like it wetty!


gardinaire 55M

12/9/2005 4:36 am

I'm allready having problems, I better run and hide before all the goodies show up!

mistymommie 41F

12/9/2005 8:25 am

Me too! I know what ya mean!


AlbertPrince 59M

12/9/2005 11:06 am

All too familiar, but it won't make any difference. I'll still be stuffing myself.

mistymommie 41F

12/9/2005 4:21 pm

As will everyone else probably!


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