TYPES OF DICK  

methodman1000 41M
1739 posts
7/25/2005 7:40 am

Last Read:
3/12/2011 1:37 pm

TYPES OF DICK


life is 50-50 so here d type of dick a friend told enjoy .....

MISERABLE DICK- When the guy is extremely handsome. He says the
right things, does the right things. When it comes to sex, he is
lacking in this department. He sucks your tits too hard, kisses your
mouth too long, stays around your neck forever, fingers you like a
GYN Doctor, licks your pussy like he was in a track meet and has a
very small dick. You try to give him some head and only find that
you are actually sucking a pacifier. This is so miserable. You
think, "how can a guy so fine, so polite have weak game?"
To top everything off ladies, how about just when in your mind your
going to try to get the best out of this even if you have to make
yourself cum and he beats you to the punch. DAMN, I cannot believe
he came in 3 minutes!!!

TOLERABLE DICK- This is funny dick. He eats major pussy. He eats
it so good; your knees feel a little weak. It was good enough to
make you shed a tear. Then he puts his dick in, for you to realize
that you cannot really feel it!!! His stroke is UN-timing and non-
rhythmic. You work with it by riding out on it as if you were in a
Wild Wild West Movie. You hold your pelvic real tight and try to
visualize the last big dick you had to get your mind off this less
filling dick. It's funny because in the man's mind he'll say, that
we just have big pussy's from having too much sex and that is why
we cannot feel him. Only for them to forget that the pussy is a
muscle that accommodates the size of the penis. If she has had
children already it will only shrink so much.

INTERNET DICK- Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see
online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch
is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in
person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to
this definition. Bottom line. HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!

OVERWHELMED DICK- I believe this dick ladies we all can testify
to. (((Whoa!))) This is the type of dick you misjudged. You saw some
signs of weakness in this man. He always caters to you and really
does not discuss what he can do in bed with you. When kissing him,
you notice you make his knees weak. You hold out on giving him some
and tease him. You know what size dick he has because you have
either A: Only gave him some mean-ass head. Or B: Stroked it while
he was paring pants or boxers. So, you thought in your mind, "I am
going to pussy feed and whip him". Only to find he laid the
"SMACKETH DOWN" on your pussy. He had you in a figure eight. You
were so overwhelmed that you could not even speak. Your whole pre-
calculated fuck was down the drain. He had more game than you. He
was like an energizer bunny that kept going and going. You could not
even hang. Now you look at him in a different light.

PUNISHABLE DICK- This is the dick that pisses me off the most.
You see the guy you're sleeping with punishes your pussy. If he had
a bad or good day at work, "he punishes your pussy". If he had a
good or bad meal, "he punishes your pussy." If he's pissed off at
you, "he punishes your pussy". No matter what, he punishes your
pussy. It is easy to tell if the guy your with falls into this
category. He always uses phrases like these when he is fucking
you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS DICK","AIN'T THIS SOME GOOD DICK", "TELL ME
YOU LIKE THIS DICK," "WHAT IS MY NAME,""WHOSE PUSSY THIS BELONGS
TO," "I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW" and finally, "YOU LIKE WHEN
DADDY GETS THIS PUSSY AND WHIPS IT!!! While all this is being said,
he is literally smacking your ass, fucking your walls sore, sweat is
dripping like it was raining and he acts like he is in a fight.

GUILTY DICK- Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily
can say, "AMEN" to this type of dick. Ladies, this is the type of
dick that makes you cry and confess to your man you fucked someone
else. The guilty dick made you want to tell somebody. Guilty dick is
in a class of it's on. Guilty dick makes you look and feel different
about the dick you go home. Guilty dick made you have multiple
orgasms. Made you cry and you had no clue to why. This dick is so
intense, when it is being administered it sent you in a trance. He
has a slow long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if you're
comfortable about six times, you started at 6 PM and it is now going
on 9 PM and he is not tired and has not cum yet. He licks on your
pussy as if he was a baby cat licking warm milk, he savors it like
you're the main course meal, he smells it like fine wine and does
not rush from the spot, he flips you over and begins licking your
pussy from the back and your ass at the same time. He takes his
fingers and inserts them in your pussy and looks at you, offers you
a taste and begins sucking the juice/cum off of his fingers. By now
you're in shock and forgot all about your man. You act as if you
want him to stop, but the walls of your pussy is screaming for more.
He has at least two inches more than your man. Guilty dick makes you
think in your mind for a split second, "Oh Baby! I am sorry". Guilty
dick in the end you try to avoid. When you're back with your man,
you're wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick. You even
have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty
dick did to you.

PLEASURABLE DICK- This is good convenient dick. Easy dick. Dick
you can call when your body needs a fix. You might as well call it
"SPLAKEVELLIE". He gives you major head like GUILTY DICK and fucks
you like GUILTY DICK. Only thing is, you do not have a man, so
you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call the dick is ready. His
dick craves your pussy. This dick is available anytime, anyplace.

GOD DAMN DICK- Ladies, now this is dick that will definitely
send you to hell if your not married to it. This dick is just like
PLEASURABLE and GUILTY DICK. His dick is anywhere from 9.5 to 11
inches long and the circumference of a half-dollar. This dick makes
you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While he is getting it
doggy style you look towards the heavens and say, "GOD DAMN THIS IS
SOME GOOD DICK!"

CAP'N DICK- This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that
you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a
well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this
dick. When you get this dick, you go through convulsions. This is
the dick that makes you EVERREADY. You call in sick from work for
it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED DICK,
PLEASURABLE DICK, GUILTY DICK, and GODDAMN DICK all in one. This is
the dick that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything
should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter while speaking and
have you nervous for no reason.

lilmomma053 31F
1 post
7/25/2005 8:35 am

THEY NEED THEM BIG FAT LONG DICKS UP IN HERE


CREAMYPUDDLES 54F
108 posts
7/25/2005 10:33 am

Intersting, and true...


redmustang91 58M  
8949 posts
7/25/2005 11:35 am

Dick is fine, but clit stroking is where the orgasms come from! Like the old golf line, drive for show, putt for dough!


methodman1000 41M
1775 posts
7/26/2005 2:11 am

true redmustang,but when u not born with the ''dick-skill''wat happens???


redhotgreeneyes 52F

8/13/2005 2:56 pm

so incrediblt true....the guy who thinks because he is good looking thinks he is an incredible lover...very disappointing...gimmie looks and body and very fiesty in the bedroom (or wherever).


rm_amysexy1000
3 posts
8/25/2005 4:15 am

True. A small dick is very disappointing especially after one is used to a big one. One doesnt have the feel of it.


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