methodman1000 41M
1739 posts
3/2/2006 12:25 am

Last Read:
3/6/2006 9:35 am


A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari 550. It is also the most expensive car in he world, and it
costs him $500,000.He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny? The young man replies, "A Ferrari 550 It cost half a million dollars!""That's a lot of money, "says the old man. "Why does it cost so
much?" "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly. The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my moped!" Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the
Ferrari up to 250 mph.Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped. Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari he gives it some more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph.Whoooooosh! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again.Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's
nothing he can do.Suddenly the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,demolishing the rear. The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the
old man is still alive!!! He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?"The old man whispers with his dying breath,"Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror."

A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage,the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea and the bird
keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet. The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a very horny
male parrot I have a sweet young female bird and for 200 bucks your bird can go in the cage with mine." The guy's parrot is listening and
says, "Come on!Come on! What the hell are you waiting for." Finally, the guy says "All
right" and hands over the 200 bucks.The vet akes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.Suddenly, "Kwah!Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.The vet screams, "Holy sh*t" and runs across the room and opens the curtain.The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he''s pulling out all her feathers, saying,"For 200 f ing bucks, I want you naked.

freetime648 53F

3/2/2006 1:15 am

xx FREETIME648 xx

catseyes23 62F

3/2/2006 2:54 am

Lolol..they were both hilarious.


kelly402005 53F

3/2/2006 10:39 am

Too funny!!!

oldman1776 80M
3164 posts
3/2/2006 2:28 pm

LMOAO. Good ones.

tillerbabe 57F

3/6/2006 8:18 am

You are quite the comic!!!

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