2. decent bf2  

mells81 37F
11 posts
3/16/2005 1:23 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

2. decent bf2

so grade 10 was pretty dry after "derek". i layed low and kept my social life pretty close, with just safe folks. and quite totally i stopped even caring about boys. they were there but they just didn't matter. looking back, i'd call my self totally asexual. there was school. and swimming. and a few close friends and that's about it. i think i was "depressed" too but then aren't all teenagers "depressed" in and out of times until they grow up.

grade 11 started the same but by the end of it, one of my buds, a guy, , "dave", who i thought might be gay cuz he was so warm and attentive, asked me out after school. we went for ice cream and talked. not the getting to know you talking, cuz we already knew each other. he asked why i was single and stuff and i didn't tell him about the loser the year before or about how it affected me i just kinda lied and said i had other focusses. i don't think i was very convincing but he didn't push it.

so dave tells me that he likes me and he'd like to start a relationship with me if i wasn't opposed to it all in general. and i felt real warm. i felt so wonderful. a bit like life turned from black and white to colour. it was a sweet moment. and we held hands and walked for a while and hung out on the swings in the park and talked some more.

and as it was getting dark we hugged a bit and he kissed me. a lot. and for a long time without even tongue. he wasn't all that huge or built. like, my height and kinda slim and a bit awkward in a puberty is messing with ya kinda way. but he was nice to hold and be held by. and an ok kisser as i remember.

but i really liked his cock that night. it felt nice rubbing on me. especially when he kinda slid over so our legs were offset a bit and i felt it on my hip and i could rub my pussycat on his leg. i liked that alot. and his cock stayed hard for the whole time. i might of only been like 30-45 minutes or it coulda been hours. but still a hard cock for such a time is real cool.

that was a wednesday or a thursday or something cuz we got together after school one or two more days and then spent big chunks of the weekend just hanging around. talking, holding hands, kissing, up to dry humping. it was pretty nice.

and the saturday night we were at his place watching vids and he went to second base. and i liked that i remember. and i was so so so scared to touch his cock. he was rubbing my boobs and then my pussycat [over clothes] and back and forth and finally he put my hand on his cock and i didn't do much with it. just kinda rubbed a little. a bit freaked out i think.

and i never really got to rubbing it too much. just little bits and he never came or anything. but i really liked him touching me. soooo much more than derek.

but that was it. i ended it. well more like i let it dwindle out by not doing anything anymore. it was kinda like a big rush of romantic activity and it was too much for me. dave called me on sunday but i said i didn't know if i wanted to hang out with him that day.

and at school on monday i saw him at lunch and after school but nothing physical. it was nice to talk with him like we always had. but i never said anything about breaking up or stopping or a temporary hold on things or anything. i really ignored the whole topic. and he was so great.

thinking back he musta seen that i was really kinda spooked by it all and he pulled back to the friend place we had been. maybe always waiting for a time when it could fire up again.

mostly i dont think i could call him my boyfriend. we never went out. but lately i'm thinking that ya, even if the relationship is short in time, it was more than friends for that whole time. and it was sexual in a way. he got me wet. so that counts, eh!

in the end i'm going with the boyfriend term for him. i watched him for the rest of high school. he dated a few nice girls. each for a long kinda time. and we drifted apart as our group of friends kinda split. never anything bad.

and as much as i tried to, i couldn't find myself wanting him sexually. not that he was unattractive but he never ended up being a guy i would seek out and want to be physical with. not that that means what we did wasnt fun. i guess it just wasnt relationship material between us two.

and looking back it got me a bit out of the derek funk and into being at least a little bit ok with myself and my body.

a long road tho. man.

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