mcsusieg 50F
149 posts
8/13/2005 6:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Men struggle with sexual women more than women do. My humble and penniless thought is….women know when they have strong, sometimes prudish/reserved, boundaries. They often know how they got them. Women who have had wonderful fulfilling physical/mental and emotional encounters, know what is out there and CAN articulate it. Now whether they will is another story.

I wonder how many men spend time thinking about how they view women. Here is my issue… If I am on AdultFriendFinder I have indicated a degree of sexuality. First we have many assumptions, I find to extremes ‒ women are looking for attention not companionship ‒ or ‒ women are looking to screw anything that interests them. A sexual active woman is not MY woman, a sexual active woman is giving away to others, a sexual active woman is dirty. Yes I think there are many men that have these thoughts ‒ subconscious or not. And that is without even touching on the “catch and release” part of men.

Dealing with my own hang ups / or lack of and dealing with your hang-ups / or lack of ….AND …

ARE men really comfortable being intimate with a woman that is intimate with others?

Are men really ready to commit non bedroom time, and enjoy it, to have intimate time with a woman?

Are you willing to accept I may have very few sexual hang ups? And the ones I do are fairly engrained … and steadfast.

I am reminded of men who complain of women becoming emotionally involved and demanding after the agreement was light hearted fun. Men complaining of the many women that will not meet, many women are simply looking for attention.

School is starting…countless hours, sitting in a stadium are awaiting my rear. New job on Monday. Time to contemplate will I get a season pass, for the slopes, or tickets packs. Oh and I need to reserve that Moab camp site for the end of September. Better start the Christmas project, (recipe book this year?). And I no more want a husband/boyfriend than I did 3 years ago. But I miss companionship. The person that will go shopping for a couple of new skirts for the new office (then I can taken them off for you), a buddy to sit next to me at high school football games and scream bloody murder (no need to know the kid, just enjoy the game), and will I have a ski partner?

This is my misrepresentation. I am honest about wanting a playmate for in and out of the bedroom/hall/kitchen/dining room table/hot tub/shower. But there are parts of me, that want someone to share MY life …And I want to share theirs. And yes again, with the ookies left at the door (when possible). Hmmm…I wish I could articulate this more.

My family, cousins, aunts, parents, teenage son…are my playmates and confidants. It is more about having a cheerleader, someone just for me. At this point, I KNOW I do not want someone to be with me because it is Wednesday and we always get together on Wednesday. We get together on Wednesday because waiting two weeks is torture, because we crave each other.

I have kept this singular, but I know I am willing to accept a couple of wonderful people into my life, and give generously in return. But revert back to the list of questions about men. I am reminded of the What FwB FEELS like blog. How to integrate all of this AND deal with men’s issues?.

Man this is all over the place.

ih8usrnames 41M

8/17/2005 3:56 am

Some men struggle with themselves and possessiveness and jealousy. The idea that men, and I'm not saying you implied this, are not interested in exclusive, monogamous and committed (till death do us part) relationships is falsely inferred. Almost like the assumption that women don't like sex.

Sometimes, the more a man plays with the sexually charged fire involved with swinging and casual (FwB as they say) relationships, the more he realises that monogamous, exclusive and committed relationships are the only way to go. The only type of sexual relationship conducive to love and trust.

This may only be one man

hunter543212000 54M
7 posts
8/15/2005 10:29 am

Once again you demonstrate a tremendous ability to articulate your feelings! It sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate at the moment. Regarding your companionship and intamacy statement, why not give a one person the opportunity to meet your needs? With your ability to communicate why not voice your wants and desires (both intimacy and companionship wise)and see how things turn out? You never know what will happen. Don't fret over things you can't control in life, its too short enjoy it. Just be yourself and things will work out. Good luck with the new job!

mcsusieg 50F
56 posts
8/14/2005 2:41 pm

WOW! Thanks for the lesson ‒ on the intimate scale ‒ well, each moment is different and wanting to be intimate with one person and them wanting that with you are two different things. I can be close and connected, monogamous and in love with someone ….that has not so much to do with how they feel about me. And yes player…is an interesting word to about someone craving companionship, and sometimes I takes 2- 3 people to fill those needs and wants.

I have a teenage son, and his upbringing greatly relies on the FAMILY...he learns from each of us. I am his primary parent, but he has parental relationships with 4 others. Trying to draw an analogy here.

I do not want a man to be at ease with me having sexual relationships outside of him….i am simply trying to be realistic about the chances of finding someone that can meet my needs and me theirs…I would rather NOT have limitations on my time with someone. I am not married … and I prefer single men…because I want to enjoy the companionship …with as much ookie left behind as possible, and if a relationship grows to that point, then fine!! Well fine with me.

Steve, I would never want to be with someone…ok I would hope someone I was with, would not turn down dinner with me because they did not want me to be more attached. I would think you just take those times as they come. If you want to be with someone ‒ then do ‒ if not well then don’t ‒ lol

Gentlemen, thank you so much for your input an insight ‒ really helps a woman learn about interacting with men…especially in this sexually charged environment of AdultFriendFinder.


rm_vixenflir 59M
295 posts
8/13/2005 5:42 pm

HA! Gotcha!

mcsusieg 50F
56 posts
8/13/2005 4:24 pm

when i say i want to share my life i mean the fun of it - not the rest of it. ohi need to think aobut this more before i reply.

rm_vixenflir 59M
295 posts
8/13/2005 9:39 am

Susie - as always, you articulate just fine. And as always = you need to RELAX! You are twisted up inside due to past events that you cannot change. Yes it makes you gun shy and doubtful that what you look for can be found. But I assure you that it can be found - this relationship that is there for the fun times of enjoying life together, there for the horny times to satisfy eachothers needs and there with understanding for the times you need to be alone with your thoughts (or your demons). To be able to completly share your life, every part, may require more of a commitment than you or your FWB may be willing to sign up for. The fact that you want a man who is at ease with the fact you are intimate with others - points to the reality that you still want some part of your life to be yours alone and not completly shared, hence the value of FWB who don't want to own you. There ARE men who fit. You will find the warrior you are seeking, but you might have to take a few chances and suck up a few defeats before he shows up. As for your sexual hang-ups = everyone has them in some way - you need to express them up front and if the relationship is something that is worth it to you - try to work through them. What once was bad, may not be that way with a new soldier. Relax and be happy, Steve

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