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Flirt and You
 
Marcelinette is all Love and lives in lalaland, Toxic Pat exists to bring Marcelinette back to reality... cyber reality of course
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Be careful of what you wish… or don't!
Posted:Dec 23, 2011 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2012 12:14 pm
18654 Views
 Be careful of what you wish…
 or don't!
  
 Take on the responsibility,
 or don't!
  
 Life serves random sets of dictates?
 I think not!
...

From my womb once upon our time
You craved a ; I had considered.

As I fell into disgrace; lost it all at once
You thought not!

As i recovered far, far away from all
Years went by.

You even came here all the way down
To check, twice!

Your tears at the airport kept me dry
Asking me -how do you do it?-

Stand calm, cool and collected?
I think, not!

Sometimes one has to be the one
To plot…

I had wished for you the Best of Life
Babies... the lot!

After you left here the last time
Seven years have passed.

A wife you did manage to get;
Your words "Barren but nice!"

...

I know and remember so well
how you had always craved for a ...

Revelations can be cruel, i swear i did,
Wish for you, the Very Best in life...

8 Comments
Inner Voyage
Posted:Dec 15, 2011 9:38 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2012 1:55 pm
18333 Views

A soul within the Ethereal,
a body lost in thoughts.

Ondine, waterless creature,
Consistent with hope.

Bits and pieces of me
All around me floating.

From Nymph to Sylph,
Such seems the journey.
2 Comments
Kibozing Bozo
Posted:Dec 15, 2011 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2012 9:44 pm
17716 Views

BOZOnet...

An egosurfer seabird
goes down a storm

The lull before ?
just a tea cup !

Plays up the storm
heavy winds in puffs,

Reassurance management;
Kibozing and surrealism...


1 comment
One step at a time
Posted:Mar 4, 2011 12:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 6:02 pm
19762 Views


one step at a time
said my dentist today
as she handed me
my list of needs

one step at a time
i said to my friend
in pain and fear

one step at a time
for my Leelou
learning to walk

one step at a time
the rule for success
for new beginnings.


5 Comments
Already Seen - Already Lived
Posted:Feb 28, 2011 12:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2012 2:34 pm
20176 Views

Often, of late more so, there are situations in everyday life that catapult me into a similar event in my far away past, emotionally so!

The funny side of this is that for the last few years, i have been suffering incredible bouts of memory losses, there are times when it worries me greatly, when i look for a reference in my memory database and just can't find it there, it used to infuriate me now i just accept it, knowing there are good and bad days for remembering.

Yet, as i listen to someone narrating a circumstance relating to themselves or someone they know of, my emotional reactions sometimes trigger an old single twin like emotion, twin in strength and depth yet at about 20 or more years apart.

I recognize the emotion, feel its depth. Be it a sorrow or a joy i have once experienced myself before in a similar scenario in my own life - A memory from the heart rather than the head? Soul Bank Memory versus Brain Bank Memory?

Does this mean that to be able to remember all of my past, i should try and find all the emotions i have lived in my past? And further even, why are there then events ma data bank will not let me find? Were the emotions too devastating to let the heart relive them?
  • Hmmm... i guess this is what is called "baggage".
    So yes when i do not remember how much is 7x9 but have to work it out again as 7x10-1, i must have been whacked over the head when i first ever got it wrong at age 6 or 7. My stepfather who oversaw our school home work believed that was how learnt - by will or by force.


  • Reliving fully an emotion is the only time i think that i do get a real estimate of the space and time factor. I have been aware of Time only when absolutely required by my environment and my people. Living alone allows for this beautifully self created time void for sure - one of the prime advantages of this side of life, the 3/4 of longevity having been already consumed.

    This feeling, this surge of emotions could be compared to the sense of deja-vu (already seen), yet it is not, it is a deja-vecu (already lived) but in a different set of circumstances and only this is the real difference. The feeling itself, the emotion hitting me is so alive that i could as well be traveling back into my own past as in a time machine.
    And ouch sometimes it hurts, enough to get me to want to "vomit it" through my keyboard as i do here regularly when i am hoping it will touch someone else's heart. A self-cleaning exercise of my baggage through writing, sharing, sorry guys... I do hope that what i describe here will find a sense of... let's say deja-vecu amongst you. Let me know please...

    What is mind blowing also is the factor time-space-event... There has been a lot of research done on DNA, the scientific approach. A lot has been written on the influence of the "growing up" environment too.
    So when it comes to parenthood and grand-parenthood and other ascendancy, i can not help but wonder why i should be made to live all over again the same circumstances than my female ascendants, i have struggled all my life to differ from my mother (she married 7 times, me? never lol).

    These sets of circumstances being entirely and purely triggered through me feeling other's emotions - Emotions that may have come through people not even blood related to me, yet their set of circumstances sometimes look like a replica of my inheritance...The deja-vu that turns into the deja-vecu.

    >>> Last night at 3.00AM, a 10 mths old sleeping baby was taken out of her cot as her parents were leaving the in-laws on the father's side after a horrible violent family fight that was long coming. The police had to be called to have the grand mother removed from the road where she laid in front of their car, engine running, trying to leave asap to find a cabin for the rest of the night. I am the other grand mother.

    >>> 35 years ago at 3.00AM, a sister, her brother and her brother's wife with their 10 mths old baby were standing on a deserted street with 11 pieces of luggage, waiting for a cab to find a hotel for the night. They had just left the baby's grand mother's place after a violent horrible family fight. I was the sister.

    Not even considering the similarity in situations 35 years apart, i am stunned and wondering now:
    >>> Why would the mother of the first baby, my , find herself a parenting partner who in time would show to have the same issues with his own mother as i have had with mine???


    11 Comments
    wooing me...
    Posted:Jan 20, 2011 7:05 pm
    Last Updated:Dec 22, 2011 12:41 am
    19660 Views


    ... Isn't such a lovely day!

    discreet crickets 'n critters
    the steady rain pitter/patters
    croaks, the frogs, the toads,
    outside clacks clacks clacks.

    the wind's woooing 'n whispers
    as the sky light above echoes
    the rainbow colored lightning
    louder soon... come the thunder.

    melancholy a lovely word
    serenity comes at a price
    solitude and hard work
    the long winded outlay.

    darkened nights on acreage
    no street lights and new moons
    all closed in behind the drapes
    candle flickers to the soul's music.

    soon daylight will pierce through
    the heavy slated sky throw,
    honey licked from my finger tips
    early awakenings at the Downs.

    give me more of that honey
    sticky laptop keys, buttered 'n coffeed.
    Slashes of the storm on the skylights
    strumming, defining,
    the new day breaks.

    Deafening silence...
    crickets 'n critters, songs 'n thunder
    toads 'n frogs, clack, clack, clack,
    heavy rain drops from the gutters
    still trekking down the pipes
    all their way down, down, down.

    to this enchanting new day
    i say welcome with a smile
    as i swing the drapes open 'n
    softly blow the pillar candles,
    a good morning from the Downs.


    6 Comments
    Waning and waxing, waning and...
    Posted:Jan 1, 2011 2:40 pm
    Last Updated:Jul 2, 2011 3:55 am
    18950 Views

    on the calendar
    of our lives
    another one
    has just arrived

    the ticker ticks
    the reference
    what year was it
    but this one new

    re beginnings
    re solutions
    resolutions...
    to the next new

    as the moon
    my only ticker
    28 days ahead
    rarely plenty full

    waning...
    waxing...
    start again
    try again...


    3 Comments
    Vinegar in my IN box... pfff
    Posted:Dec 19, 2010 9:29 pm
    Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 6:10 pm
    20059 Views

    a persistent man here
    a man, but i mean all...

    any man should know
    how to have the grace
    without getting dismissive
    without getting all offended
    when their emailed offers
    no matter how persistent
    didn't get a personal answer

    sorry i'm too busy to reply to you, personally...
    could it be about male ego???

    I ask you in the face of evidence
    when will some men learn, huh?
    hi Marcelintte

    thanks for your reply
    Its a shame u dont have 2 mins to reply to me personally
    I was looking forward to hearing from you
    maybe if i interview you out for a drink then you might be able to find more time
    If not well good luck anyway

    cheers

    Hardly, no thank you, dear... this isn't good enough as far as i am concerned. But here is your collective answer... with a French saying that goes:
    "one does not attract bees with vinegar!"
    PS: who needs an enemy when one is his own worst one?


    5 Comments
    ... perfectly magic
    Posted:Dec 17, 2010 8:02 pm
    Last Updated:Dec 27, 2010 3:40 pm
    19433 Views


    This morning the sun is back,
    the dark tree skeletons of last night
    got their colors back with the light
    the atmosphere thick, sticky, heavy,
    Crickets and frogs still humming.

    They survived the storm
    on the tall standing trees still
    the birds are singing again,
    new hope with a new morning.

    i wipe the sweat from my lip,
    got to get back to the garden here,
    the one i wanted "magical"
    for my Leelou; my baby's baby.

    Soon i'll be picking up debris
    building up again the stack
    to be burned, what a waste!
    All was cleared, yesterday only.

    The lesson is hard, each day
    as i strive for this yard's perfection
    a never ending task to never last
    much longer to yet another storm.

    Such is the agenda, for all of us
    Strive, strive, strive, each, each day
    the list of tasks, of wants and wills
    chosen or imposed, the cross to bear.

    As the ride-on mowers hum around,
    i wonder, is it not too wet to mow?
    some worse off than i, strive more
    than i...and keep their gardens "perfect"


    3 Comments
    I cried for all...
    Posted:Dec 17, 2010 7:45 pm
    Last Updated:Jan 21, 2011 7:14 pm
    19126 Views

    Last night... As my bed shook from the thunder, as i laid watching the storm, as i heard old trees breaking and coming down, as i wondered why we've had so much rain, wondered if it had been 40 days yet too, i could... finally cry it all out...

    Cry for all, cry for me,
    for the lonely, the unloved,
    for the sick, the hungry,
    for the old with no family,
    for the young ill treated,
    the misunderstood,
    the ones left behind,
    for our restrained heroes.

    for all the injustices,
    for all who like me
    want to, need to
    make this world
    a fairer place,
    a better place...

    for its people;
    for our
    of all backgrounds
    of all color
    of all good will

    to survive it all,
    to be able to fix it all
    to what it was meant,
    what it could be;
    a selfless communion,
    before we...
    before our ...

    can no longer
    turn the clock back
    can no longer
    even apologize
    can no longer
    no longer just be...


    2 Comments
    i could if i would... take in the $ calls
    Posted:Dec 15, 2010 9:20 pm
    Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 5:49 am
    19244 Views
    Once upon a time
    C.A. and i used to say:
    poverty would be easier
    under the sunshine, everyday!

    Each day i count cents,
    balance out the bills,
    make it stretch if i can
    as the sun shines high!

    Through the glass here
    i watch the sun and lament
    where are the days gone
    when i just laid in the sun?

    I could if i would
    rake it in as before
    if only all were safe;
    the dreaded $ squeeze!

    My loved ones all suffer
    spare cash is no longer
    and i try, try to help
    and lighten their ways.

    I could if i would
    take in the calls
    Ingenio says so
    one step is needed.

    My voice and accent
    could be the bait
    my love of people
    could be the ticket!

    I could if i would
    'n did set up... Ingenio
    stopped at Paypal though
    just couldn't face it!

    We... Australians
    value mate-ship
    above dollars and
    above all sense!

    In my grand'ma's shack
    there won't be Xmas
    cause grand'pa's back
    he always takes over!

    My 2 girls are there
    other sisters as well
    from yet another bed
    family reunion they say!

    Give me a reason,
    push me to sell myself
    while i'm alone at X'Mas
    might as well take calls?

    Re-flourish the garden
    grow my own vegetable
    a green thumb never hurts
    saved dollars and cents!

    A villa in Bali was offered
    an Aussie friend has escaped
    < i can't make it, i said,
    stretch som' more this budget>

    Is this how one grows old?
    when all possibilities seem gone
    as one eats from his own hand
    a lone grand'ma sighs and howls.

    The storm has come now
    was just too hot today
    my skin misses the tan
    as i balance in excel.

    ... just for another day
    until the money gets in
    i count dollars 'n cents
    and Yessssssssss.....
    milk n chocolate i'll get!



    4 Comments
    Yank... some more
    Posted:Dec 9, 2010 2:32 pm
    Last Updated:Dec 28, 2010 12:40 am
    19930 Views
    i have lost what it takes
    words don't come easy
    anymore, as i read here
    sometimes not often i do
    come here to read YOU

    It is in French that i react
    and no fish babel or other
    can translate accurately
    the deep appreciation
    of your exposes... here.

    i come and read
    that is all what i do.
    messages like doves
    used to hit my window
    and there was a time
    when a promised Yank
    didn't, wouldn't, couldn't
    choose aside no more...

    No more, no matter what
    can anyone here just know
    words in time never die
    and one day may be...
    the Yank will have matter
    to not only, only just have
    at heart.. his own country.

    Love is universal
    no one can tag it, hold it
    make it his, hers, ours
    no matter what
    it will always shine for all
    those who are in the know
    kindred by the thought,
    one no longer yanks,
    no longer whispers
    and spreads it all...



    5 Comments
    Will the schism be from here?
    Posted:Oct 31, 2010 1:05 am
    Last Updated:Nov 16, 2010 12:57 am
    19474 Views

    Will the schism be from here?
    wandering from app to app,
    from modes to medium.
    The need is here, i feel it.
    I wonder which will it be...

    The Call is to "start anew"
    leaving the past behind...
    My stars , my cards say so!
    A big leap into the now,
    the fuel for my tomorrow!

    While I wander, test and investigate
    my core is alight,
    the burning of the question,
    the fire is in me roaring...

    where do i go ?
    what do i do ?
    the gear is in
    that i know...

    While i'm burning inside,
    from my new hide away,
    the risotto on the stove
    slowly swells itself inside out.

    what do i do, now?
    who will i be? where?
    is Marcelinette still in me?
    the Call is here i know...

    There is i feel... the need!
    since 2004 i've been here,
    i have needed your trust
    and did rely on you people!

    You...
    My friends always here
    to tenderly mollycoddle me
    wrap me in this new found ego;
    That of a "worthy" woman!

    You...
    have held me together
    more than you will ever know...
    A wide smile when i read you
    often expressing your awe of me!

    The risotto is ready now,
    the eve light's filtered through the tall trees,
    with bird tweets under the pergola...
    before night falls... à table svp.

    4 Comments

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