Be careful of what you wish… or don't!
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Posted:Dec 23, 2011 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2012 12:14 pm
18654 Views
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| | Be careful of what you wish… | | or don't! | | | | Take on the responsibility, | | or don't! | | | | Life serves random sets of dictates? | | I think not! | ...From my womb once upon our time You craved a ; I had considered. As I fell into disgrace; lost it all at once You thought not! As i recovered far, far away from all Years went by. You even came here all the way down To check, twice! Your tears at the airport kept me dry Asking me -how do you do it?- Stand calm, cool and collected? I think, not! Sometimes one has to be the one To plot… I had wished for you the Best of Life Babies... the lot! After you left here the last time Seven years have passed. A wife you did manage to get; Your words "Barren but nice!"
... I know and remember so well how you had always craved for a ... Revelations can be cruel, i swear i did, Wish for you, the Very Best in life...
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Inner Voyage
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Posted:Dec 15, 2011 9:38 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2012 1:55 pm
18333 Views
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A soul within the Ethereal, a body lost in thoughts.
Ondine, waterless creature, Consistent with hope.
Bits and pieces of me All around me floating.
From Nymph to Sylph, Such seems the journey.
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Kibozing Bozo
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Posted:Dec 15, 2011 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2012 9:44 pm
17716 Views
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BOZOnet...
An egosurfer seabird goes down a storm
The lull before ? just a tea cup !
Plays up the storm heavy winds in puffs,
Reassurance management; Kibozing and surrealism...
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One step at a time
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Posted:Mar 4, 2011 12:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 6:02 pm
19762 Views
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one step at a time said my dentist today as she handed me my list of needs
one step at a time i said to my friend in pain and fear
one step at a time for my Leelou learning to walk
one step at a time the rule for success for new beginnings.
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Already Seen - Already Lived
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Posted:Feb 28, 2011 12:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2012 2:34 pm
20176 Views
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Often, of late more so, there are situations in everyday life that catapult me into a similar event in my far away past, emotionally so! The funny side of this is that for the last few years, i have been suffering incredible bouts of memory losses, there are times when it worries me greatly, when i look for a reference in my memory database and just can't find it there, it used to infuriate me now i just accept it, knowing there are good and bad days for remembering.
Yet, as i listen to someone narrating a circumstance relating to themselves or someone they know of, my emotional reactions sometimes trigger an old single twin like emotion, twin in strength and depth yet at about 20 or more years apart.
I recognize the emotion, feel its depth. Be it a sorrow or a joy i have once experienced myself before in a similar scenario in my own life - A memory from the heart rather than the head? Soul Bank Memory versus Brain Bank Memory?
Does this mean that to be able to remember all of my past, i should try and find all the emotions i have lived in my past? And further even, why are there then events ma data bank will not let me find? Were the emotions too devastating to let the heart relive them? Hmmm... i guess this is what is called "baggage". So yes when i do not remember how much is 7x9 but have to work it out again as 7x10-1, i must have been whacked over the head when i first ever got it wrong at age 6 or 7. My stepfather who oversaw our school home work believed that was how learnt - by will or by force.
Reliving fully an emotion is the only time i think that i do get a real estimate of the space and time factor. I have been aware of Time only when absolutely required by my environment and my people. Living alone allows for this beautifully self created time void for sure - one of the prime advantages of this side of life, the 3/4 of longevity having been already consumed.
This feeling, this surge of emotions could be compared to the sense of deja-vu (already seen), yet it is not, it is a deja-vecu (already lived) but in a different set of circumstances and only this is the real difference. The feeling itself, the emotion hitting me is so alive that i could as well be traveling back into my own past as in a time machine. And ouch sometimes it hurts, enough to get me to want to "vomit it" through my keyboard as i do here regularly when i am hoping it will touch someone else's heart. A self-cleaning exercise of my baggage through writing, sharing, sorry guys... I do hope that what i describe here will find a sense of... let's say deja-vecu amongst you. Let me know please...
What is mind blowing also is the factor time-space-event... There has been a lot of research done on DNA, the scientific approach. A lot has been written on the influence of the "growing up" environment too. So when it comes to parenthood and grand-parenthood and other ascendancy, i can not help but wonder why i should be made to live all over again the same circumstances than my female ascendants, i have struggled all my life to differ from my mother (she married 7 times, me? never lol).
These sets of circumstances being entirely and purely triggered through me feeling other's emotions - Emotions that may have come through people not even blood related to me, yet their set of circumstances sometimes look like a replica of my inheritance...The deja-vu that turns into the deja-vecu.
>>> Last night at 3.00AM, a 10 mths old sleeping baby was taken out of her cot as her parents were leaving the in-laws on the father's side after a horrible violent family fight that was long coming. The police had to be called to have the grand mother removed from the road where she laid in front of their car, engine running, trying to leave asap to find a cabin for the rest of the night. I am the other grand mother.
>>> 35 years ago at 3.00AM, a sister, her brother and her brother's wife with their 10 mths old baby were standing on a deserted street with 11 pieces of luggage, waiting for a cab to find a hotel for the night. They had just left the baby's grand mother's place after a violent horrible family fight. I was the sister.
Not even considering the similarity in situations 35 years apart, i am stunned and wondering now: >>> Why would the mother of the first baby, my , find herself a parenting partner who in time would show to have the same issues with his own mother as i have had with mine???
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wooing me...
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Posted:Jan 20, 2011 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2011 12:41 am
19660 Views
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... Isn't such a lovely day!
discreet crickets 'n critters the steady rain pitter/patters croaks, the frogs, the toads, outside clacks clacks clacks.
the wind's woooing 'n whispers as the sky light above echoes the rainbow colored lightning louder soon... come the thunder.
melancholy a lovely word serenity comes at a price solitude and hard work the long winded outlay.
darkened nights on acreage no street lights and new moons all closed in behind the drapes candle flickers to the soul's music.
soon daylight will pierce through the heavy slated sky throw, honey licked from my finger tips early awakenings at the Downs.
give me more of that honey sticky laptop keys, buttered 'n coffeed. Slashes of the storm on the skylights strumming, defining, the new day breaks.
Deafening silence... crickets 'n critters, songs 'n thunder toads 'n frogs, clack, clack, clack, heavy rain drops from the gutters still trekking down the pipes all their way down, down, down.
to this enchanting new day i say welcome with a smile as i swing the drapes open 'n softly blow the pillar candles, a good morning from the Downs.
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6
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Waning and waxing, waning and...
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Posted:Jan 1, 2011 2:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2011 3:55 am
18950 Views
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on the calendar of our lives another one has just arrived
the ticker ticks the reference what year was it but this one new
re beginnings re solutions resolutions... to the next new
as the moon my only ticker 28 days ahead rarely plenty full
waning... waxing... start again try again...
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Vinegar in my IN box... pfff
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Posted:Dec 19, 2010 9:29 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 6:10 pm
20059 Views
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a persistent man here a man, but i mean all...
any man should know how to have the grace without getting dismissive without getting all offended when their emailed offers no matter how persistent didn't get a personal answer
sorry i'm too busy to reply to you, personally... could it be about male ego???
I ask you in the face of evidence when will some men learn, huh?
hi Marcelintte
thanks for your reply Its a shame u dont have 2 mins to reply to me personally I was looking forward to hearing from you maybe if i interview you out for a drink then you might be able to find more time If not well good luck anyway
cheers |
Hardly, no thank you, dear... this isn't good enough as far as i am concerned. But here is your collective answer... with a French saying that goes: "one does not attract bees with vinegar!" PS: who needs an enemy when one is his own worst one?
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5
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... perfectly magic
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Posted:Dec 17, 2010 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2010 3:40 pm
19433 Views
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This morning the sun is back, the dark tree skeletons of last night got their colors back with the light the atmosphere thick, sticky, heavy, Crickets and frogs still humming.
They survived the storm on the tall standing trees still the birds are singing again, new hope with a new morning. i wipe the sweat from my lip, got to get back to the garden here, the one i wanted "magical" for my Leelou; my baby's baby.
Soon i'll be picking up debris building up again the stack to be burned, what a waste! All was cleared, yesterday only.
The lesson is hard, each day as i strive for this yard's perfection a never ending task to never last much longer to yet another storm.
Such is the agenda, for all of us Strive, strive, strive, each, each day the list of tasks, of wants and wills chosen or imposed, the cross to bear.
As the ride-on mowers hum around, i wonder, is it not too wet to mow? some worse off than i, strive more than i...and keep their gardens "perfect"
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I cried for all...
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Posted:Dec 17, 2010 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2011 7:14 pm
19126 Views
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Last night... As my bed shook from the thunder, as i laid watching the storm, as i heard old trees breaking and coming down, as i wondered why we've had so much rain, wondered if it had been 40 days yet too, i could... finally cry it all out...
Cry for all, cry for me, for the lonely, the unloved, for the sick, the hungry, for the old with no family, for the young ill treated, the misunderstood, the ones left behind, for our restrained heroes.
for all the injustices, for all who like me want to, need to make this world a fairer place, a better place...
for its people; for our of all backgrounds of all color of all good will
to survive it all, to be able to fix it all to what it was meant, what it could be; a selfless communion, before we... before our ...
can no longer turn the clock back can no longer even apologize can no longer no longer just be...
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i could if i would... take in the $ calls
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Posted:Dec 15, 2010 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2011 5:49 am
19244 Views
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Once upon a time C.A. and i used to say: poverty would be easier under the sunshine, everyday!
Each day i count cents, balance out the bills, make it stretch if i can as the sun shines high!
Through the glass here i watch the sun and lament where are the days gone when i just laid in the sun?
I could if i would rake it in as before if only all were safe; the dreaded $ squeeze!
My loved ones all suffer spare cash is no longer and i try, try to help and lighten their ways.
I could if i would take in the calls Ingenio says so one step is needed.
My voice and accent could be the bait my love of people could be the ticket!
I could if i would 'n did set up... Ingenio stopped at Paypal though just couldn't face it!
We... Australians value mate-ship above dollars and above all sense!
In my grand'ma's shack there won't be Xmas cause grand'pa's back he always takes over!
My 2 girls are there other sisters as well from yet another bed family reunion they say!
Give me a reason, push me to sell myself while i'm alone at X'Mas might as well take calls?
Re-flourish the garden grow my own vegetable a green thumb never hurts saved dollars and cents!
A villa in Bali was offered an Aussie friend has escaped < i can't make it, i said, stretch som' more this budget>
Is this how one grows old? when all possibilities seem gone as one eats from his own hand a lone grand'ma sighs and howls.
The storm has come now was just too hot today my skin misses the tan as i balance in excel.
... just for another day until the money gets in i count dollars 'n cents and Yessssssssss..... milk n chocolate i'll get!
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4
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Yank... some more
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Posted:Dec 9, 2010 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2010 12:40 am
19930 Views
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i have lost what it takes words don't come easy anymore, as i read here sometimes not often i do come here to read YOU
It is in French that i react and no fish babel or other can translate accurately the deep appreciation of your exposes... here.
i come and read that is all what i do. messages like doves used to hit my window and there was a time when a promised Yank didn't, wouldn't, couldn't choose aside no more...
No more, no matter what can anyone here just know words in time never die and one day may be... the Yank will have matter to not only, only just have at heart.. his own country.
Love is universal no one can tag it, hold it make it his, hers, ours no matter what it will always shine for all those who are in the know kindred by the thought, one no longer yanks, no longer whispers and spreads it all...
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5
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Will the schism be from here?
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Posted:Oct 31, 2010 1:05 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2010 12:57 am
19474 Views
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Will the schism be from here? wandering from app to app, from modes to medium. The need is here, i feel it. I wonder which will it be...
The Call is to "start anew" leaving the past behind... My stars , my cards say so! A big leap into the now, the fuel for my tomorrow!
While I wander, test and investigate my core is alight, the burning of the question, the fire is in me roaring...
where do i go ? what do i do ? the gear is in that i know...
While i'm burning inside, from my new hide away, the risotto on the stove slowly swells itself inside out.
what do i do, now? who will i be? where? is Marcelinette still in me? the Call is here i know...
There is i feel... the need! since 2004 i've been here, i have needed your trust and did rely on you people!
You... My friends always here to tenderly mollycoddle me wrap me in this new found ego; That of a "worthy" woman!
You... have held me together more than you will ever know... A wide smile when i read you often expressing your awe of me!
The risotto is ready now, the eve light's filtered through the tall trees, with bird tweets under the pergola... before night falls... à table svp.
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To link to this blog (marcelinette) use [blog marcelinette] in your messages.
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