Naked truth  

m1903a3 60M
122 posts
7/31/2006 5:04 pm

Last Read:
9/21/2007 3:41 pm

Naked truth

It's time for brutal, complete honesty.

Nothing held back.

Kitty is currently in the hospital. Locked down in the behavioral health unit. Read "booby hatch". She was so much better for a while, but her demons have returned with a vengeance.

I feel partly responsible for this. I have been a less than stellar husband to her.

The truth is, I'm a letch. A dirty old man.

I have tried so many times to do the right thing, but I always fail.

She is not aware of my secret life on this site, but I can't help but think this has had some effect on her.

We have talked of separation this week, and that may be for the best.

I don't deserve someone like her.

Even though she has had some flings in the past, I believe her mental condition was responsible for them.

She was molested three times before she was a teen, once by a woman, had a physically abusive childhood and first marriage, suffered brain damage from a motorcycle wreck, and was a drug addict for many years.

I have no excuse.

More honesty. I have met a woman on this site. We are just friends. You know who you are.

The truth is, I care about you a lot more than I'm supposed to.

I don't want this to spoil our friendship, but I have to be honest. Besides, you probably were already aware of my feelings.

I am praying for strength to live my life right, but I doubt anything will change.

I will always be a dirty old man.

Please forgive me.


8/1/2006 10:28 pm

I stand in prayer with you that she will be for you, forgive yourself! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

m1903a3 replies on 8/1/2006 11:28 pm:
Thank you, babe. She is getting the help she needs now. She will never be "normal" but I'll settle for breathing.
As for me, I'm going to be in a bad mood for a few days, but I'm a survivor. A little guilt trip will not kill me.
Sometimes that puts things in perspective.

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