Funkle, In a Funkle, Funkle  

lustcurious42 57F
257 posts
8/15/2006 9:55 pm

Last Read:
9/6/2006 7:53 pm

Funkle, In a Funkle, Funkle

I'm in a funk idea why. I wonder if it is because it is now two days without an orgasm (hey, I confessed to being an orgasm junkie needing a fix). Seriously, maybe it's hormones. Not crabby, just funked.
Today is also the first day in probably two months I haven't seen the guy for at least a little bit. We usually try and have lunch together, if nothing else but damn work got in the way today. So maybe that's my funkle?
We went for drinks after work last night with some of my co-workers and caught the bus back to his car. As we sat on the bus, who gets on? That ghost of a know, that OTHER woman from three years ago. I wouldn't have known it was her if he hadn't told me. I sat and watched her, studied her. I'm demented, I tell ya. I think I look like more fun. Like I smile more. If I was her, I woulda stuck my tongue out at him and put my fingers in my ear and made neener neener gestures. So maybe that's my funkle. Adding to my insecurities. Seriously, he's been perfect this go round. Attentive, caring, laughing, communicative, everything a girl could possibly want. I hope I can trust him again. I hope I'm not the fool. But my heart tells me he loves me. It's funny, he'll call me while I'm driving and I hear this "Baby, put your seatbeat on for me." So I do........I hate seatbeats. Blah. So my funkle leads me to doubts......when I've been so sure. I hate it when I get like this, because I know that I searched high and low for a man to understand me, to laugh with me, to stimulate my mind, to love me like there is no tomorrow. And I am convinced that after all these years, he is the one who makes my heart flutter. No explaining it, I tell ya.
Or maybe my funkle is because I've learned my almost 16 year old love of my life daughter is smoking pot every now and then. She's a good kid. Honor roll, doesn't get in trouble, but she has a condom in her wallet and smokes pot now and then. I don't want to fail her. I talked and talked to her tonight. A good talk. About choices that people make. How they affect your life. Do I load her ass up and put her in treatment? Do I allow her to make her own choices as long as she maintains grades and stays out of trouble? It's gonna be a long few years. I handle stress well. But I am so afraid of failing my kids. Of allowing them to fail.
I hope this funkle is gone tomorrow. Somebody tell me a joke..........

nightis 54M

8/16/2006 6:51 am

Remember, children have you on a leash too. There is the potential to go out and have a good time and then every now and then, they will make a poor choice and try to reign their parent back in to keep them on the path that should be chosen. That is the time to feel the tug on your leash!

Take it from a parent that has no life!

Way to be alert!

lustcurious42 57F

8/16/2006 7:17 pm

Honni--wow, thank you soo much for the wonderful words!! I'll have to read your blog as well. I like sharing on here, and I like the people who share their true selves. As for me, I have a couple favorite blogs on here that I've written that probably go to my essence better than some of the others. They are, I think, The Nuts Don't Fall Far From the Tree, Leaving My Baggage Along the Highway, and I Am Who I Am. Good at p seems like such a good man. I like him. And I think deep down, he wants a good woman.

lustcurious42 57F

8/16/2006 7:20 pm

Nightis--I hate to admit it, but I snooped in her e-mail...........and her wallet. I think I balance my personal life with being a mom, at least I hope so. I never leave my girls home alone over night, I try and limit my going out, I have never strung men through my house. At times it gets hard to balance though.

goodatpoetry2 68M
16569 posts
8/17/2006 11:19 am

That's right. Just talk as if I wasn't here. LOL!
Honni has said it so well. You've got to let them learn their own way.
You're doing good. [Nothing wrong with a little snooping]

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