Why is answering all e-mails considered polite?  

longleggedkitty 45F
58 posts
7/30/2006 9:54 am

Last Read:
12/19/2006 5:50 am

Why is answering all e-mails considered polite?

Reading some awesome blogs like wants2cyber from users that have been on this site for a while, I found out that is considered good manners to write back to everyone, even if only to say 'No, thanks'.

Well, as a standard member I can only send 10 e-mails a day so that wouldn't be necessarily possible every day, but most importantly:
I don't understand it. Why would someone like to receive a response at all if the response goes something like this:

from: Hot Chick
Subj: Re: Hi there!

(He wonders: Lets see...Will this be just another web-cam add?)

Hi! Thank you so much for writing to me!
(gets his hopes up)
I looked at your profile and you look pretty hot yourself!
(gets something else up)
You seem like a great guy.
(He gets even more excited noticing that there aren't any links anywhere to a paying website! WOW, this one is a live one!)
However, after looking at your pictures; reading all about you and carefully evaluating all that you have to offer, I decided that I don't want to have anything to do with you, so I'm writing back to clearly and unambiguously tell you that I'm rejecting you.
(Gee, fuck you very much for writing back, baby!)
Good Luck in your search!
Hot Chick

She won't spell it out like that, of course, but in essence that's the message. How is the guy supposed to feel? Flattered by having her attention for all of 90 seconds?

Personally, I rather never hear back from those who don't like me, unless there was something very specific (that I could change) that was the deal breaker and they really liked all the rest.

If a guy gets back at me just to say: I think you're cool and you're hot (...the irony of modern slang!) but you're too tall, or too old, or too white for me...I rather not hear back at all. My ego will always help me to assume that the guy is just a player, his girlfriend deleted my e-mail because I am much hotter than her, or that he is too busy building a time machine to find the cure for cancer and the secret to world peace. Denial can be a wonderful thing. I don't want someone to bring that Click!Twooooooooooooooooo feeling to the foreground of my mind. Is just more damage control work for my ego!

So, guys, I'd like your comments here. What would you rather have? A polite rejection letter or nothing at all? And why?
Feel free to tell us of any funny stories related to this topic.

electriccompany 54M

8/1/2006 11:26 am

Agreed! wants2cyber runs a great blog!

If I were on the market, and had made a sincere, yet non-qualifying introduction, a polite rejection would be preferred, actually!

It forces the "let's get real" point to happen up front and permits people move on with whatever they really want to achieve on this site. It's a kindness, actually.

You shouldn't, however, feel obligated to write back to every horny-dog that wrote to you, Kits. As discussed on previous blogs, the volume of junk mail you ladies get here would be impossible to respond to! If an author of a letter clearly doesn't fit your profile, then they are probably out there just randomly blowing loads of slimy text into every female inbox! (Mmm. I write SO nasty!)... You wouldn't be expected to answer every real-world spam with a response, would you? Wonder what that would be like for LLK's e-mails?

*Blurry fade to LLK's e-mail editor*

reply-to: v1a6ra-pusher
from: the_kitster

message: Thanks for the prompt, generous offer! I really appreciate your concern for my consumption of all-natural products. I strive only for natural, free-range, growth hormone-free foods ... But being a kitty-type person I DONT HAVE ONE OF THOSE TO ENLARGE, STUPID!


reply-to: scam-art1st
from: the_kitster

message: Wow! Women's suffrage has come so far! So many opportunities like this to participate in international political affairs. Very flattering... But since I have no assurance that you won't vacuum out all the money rather than blow a load into my "ACCONT" with a nice commission left over for me after the "TRANSFEAR", why don't I just refer you to some more logical institution. Say ... A BANK!!! YOU KNOW, IF YOU ARE NOT JUST A BIG FAT SORRY LOSER, YOU CAN SET ONE UP ALL BY YOURSELF AND TRANSFER ALL YOU WANT ON YOUR OWN!!

*Blurry fade back to Blogland*

Bottom lines: Don't worry about the load-blowers in Blogland, AdultFriendFinder e-mail or regular e-mail. And don't worry about hurting feelings with a truthful, honest rejection. Eventually, the truth always comes to the top.

(I finally read the guidelines! Hope I managed to stay somewhat on topic this time. If not, just use your blogmaster powers to delete this. Thanks, LLK)

electriccompany 54M

8/2/2006 12:05 pm

An example of impolite behavior would be to use someone's handle in a fantasy blog as some rube did in Fantasy How I would run my detective agency .

ThePabloEscobar 47M
2 posts
8/6/2006 9:59 am

Why not change your profile, so that the auto-response say something like: "Thank you for your email - IT WAS RECEIVED. Howeverf, due to the overwhelming amount of email, I will review your profile & will reply if I am interested. If you do not get a reply, I am not interested."

Or some other variation of that.. then you can save your 10 daily emails for those that you are really interested in. BTW new images are awaiting approval, to include face shots.

wants2cyber 44F

8/14/2006 5:33 pm

LLK... thanks for the plug! I vascillate between responding to all, and to none. I try to be polite, but sometimes politeness bites you in the ass. Save your 10 emails for ones that count... which is, on occassion, a rude reply to a rather repulsive sender!

rm_Exceller22 56M
119 posts
8/22/2006 11:05 am

Yes, electriccompany is right. Although, it would be an act of kindness on your part to provide a polite rejection, it would also be impossible for the women to respond to every piece of mail that they get. Since a standard member is limited to 10 e-mails a day, and a lady is interested in a guy and she wants to let him know, all she has to do is send him a wink. That way, he will know that his e-mail wasn't ignored and if he is truly interested, he will try again. Now I think I'll check out "want2cyber"s blog and see what it's all about.

electriccompany 54M

9/1/2006 11:29 am

Kitty-kins? Still there? Haven't seen you blog in about a month now. Is everything okay? Was it something I said? Or did I say too much!?

NickB67 50M

9/15/2006 9:47 pm

I'm with troika. Thanks, but no thanks is always better than messages going off into a black hole with no reply at all.

Handsomme400 59M

10/1/2006 3:43 pm

I agree with most of these guys. I would rather see a rejection than nothing. When I write to someone, I usually put time and thought into it, and I would like to know that the person actually received it and considered what I had to say, than to just wonder if and when they ever got it. And I like to get feedback, even if it's negative...it's the best way to improve my chances, and as long as the criticism is straighforward and honest, I can take it. Thanks for asking the question!

legladvoc8 44M
14 posts
10/3/2006 4:02 pm

If youre not interested, its ok not to answer. The women on AdultFriendFinder get duluged with so many emails (old guys, fat guys, guys out of state/country). It is unrealistic for anyone to think that women (espeically sexy beautiful women like LONGLEG) have time to respond to each request. However, this may lead to repeat messages from guys like me who might be under the impression that my email was not seen (as I have been told by some women I later contacted). I will repeat my contact atttempts if the woman seems especially perfect until we finally make contact or (god forbid) she says

legladvoc8 44M
14 posts
10/3/2006 4:17 pm

What I especially love is when women say -Please do not send cock shots, Ive seen them all and Im not interested in seeing yours-
and yet their profile has not other photos than of their pussies and breasts... Oh please... Cant we be consistent ladies? BTW LONGLEG-- I am an eyes kinda guy and would love to see yours (not that I am complaining about the shots of your bod). I am much more attracted to faces too-- care to show yours behind the camera?
legladvoc8 at yaho0

rm_SLOluv2 54M
1 post
10/8/2006 1:07 pm

Answering all emails is considered polite for the same reason that it is considered polite to respond when somebody says "Hello" in person. Ignoring them is rude. I will admit that I don't answer the plethora of junk email I receive but I answer everybody who sends me a personal email, and that includes here at AdultFriendFinder.

JaggyKiltsDrain 45M
45 posts
10/22/2006 1:17 am

I agree with SLOluv. It is a common courtesy to respond back to someone. Personally, I always want a reply to the e-mails I send out. And with AdultFriendFinder enabling 'Quick Response' replying back should be super easy. You don't even really need to reply back. Just click on 1 line and your done. that easy.
I would prefer a reason for the denial. Sometimes it may be a misunderstanding, or a response to something that was otherwise left out of the original person's profile. So why not give that extra minute to respond? They did for you, and wouldn't that be just polite?

Besides, if not, they could assume you didn't get the e-mail, or otherwise keep sending new e-mails that you don't want anyways. Myself, tell me no, and I wont come back. But no response at all, leaves me guessing.

rm_tdawgg46 59M
1 post
11/24/2006 11:46 am

I agree with most other respondants, that it would be polite to at least acknowledge that you did indeed recieve an inquiry, and that if your interested, you will respond. The reality of this whole "adult internet site" thing is that alot of men subscribe to these things because they a) never have a chance of actually MEETING an attractive woman from one, but it's gratifying to pretend and , ahem "pleasure" one's self while looking at all the nice pictures, and b)they can pretend they are someone they are not (or at least haven't been for the last ten years or so, before the baldness and potatoe chips kicked in)
I think an auto-response with some type "I'll get back to you" message would be polite enough.

ezroller46526 43M

11/25/2006 6:45 am

Even if there is no response, due to limited e-mail capabilities, it would be nice if they came back to actually look at your profile & check it out. Then if they were interested they could send you a wink, add you to their hotlist, write a testimonial, or comment on your blog. At least that way they would spend 2 seconds reading your profile (common courtesy and all). It just gets annoying reading girls profiles that complain about all the e-mail they recieve. Must be nice. I can't even remember the last time I got an e-mail that wasn't an auto-response or a reply to an e-mail that I sent. I'd rather get no response instead of an auto-response that says 'oh i'm so busy reading all the e-mails'.

If I don't get some kind of response from an initial e-mail, there's no point in sending another, unless she changes her profile and I feel like trying again.

The limited e-mail capability is a non-issue with me since I'm a gold member. I used to pay for standard contact & realized that was just a waste of time & money. I have my messenger id listed right on my profile, so if any standard member wanted to contact me, all they would have to do is read my profile & add me to their messenger list. Unfortunately, all the girls that complain that guys don't read their profiles before contacting, don't spend two seconds reading your profile. They just read their mail & then complain. Rather than actually search for someone that matches their criteria, they would like to sit back and wait for that perfect someone to send them a charming e-mail. Must be nice.

ezroller46526 43M

12/9/2006 2:00 pm

Thanks for the response to my post longlegs. I understand that standard members do not see everything that us paying members see. It would be nice if they would spend half as much ($20/mo.) or whatever to view some of the profiles rather than complaining about the tons of e-mail they receive. Like I said, must be nice. Most of the time for me it's just an auto-response, or junk-mail from AdultFriendFinder talking about their new improvements to the site, or a response that asks you for your messenger address (which most often is fake, 'cos they could have read that off your profile if they were a paying member, or not some web bot that can't read).

I'd be more than happy to trade places with you. I've recieved my fair share of stupid e-mails & invites from stupid gay guys who can't read my profile. But you still receive a small percentage of e-mails from people who are interested in meeting you that may or may not fit your criteria. I get nothing. Because the vast majority of women on this site are too cheap to spend any amount of money/time to find some one that they are interested in.

This site is geared towards women and men that will pay to contact women, and I can debate this with you until I'm blue in the face, but you know it's true. If I run a search for girls in my area that match my criteria, I'll recieve the first page of women with no profiles listed, no pics, who were active w/ in the last week, and 99% are fake. And 100% of the ones that have pics posted are fake (just to keep paying male members). If I go to the second page, it would just be more fake girls who don't posts their pics who haven't been active in the past few weeks or months.
And the 1% of girls that are real, I wouldn't have anything to do with.

Any time that you would like to trade places with me, go ahead and set up a new GOLD account as a MALE, looking for females and see how many responses you get. Then I'll set up a new STANDARD Account as a young 18 year old virgin, with no profile, and no pics, and I'll bet I get a 1,000 more responses than you.

denverdave64 53M
52 posts
12/18/2006 11:04 am

i have to agree with you i would rather not here anything if the lady is not interested.it seems a waste of time otherwise lol

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