Hey you ... :)  

lithiumrose 39F
260 posts
5/25/2006 9:36 am

Last Read:
6/4/2006 7:35 am

Hey you ... :)

Someone asked me once who I generally date. I had to think about it and 99.8% of them are caucasian. I guess, from spending so much time abroad - and plus my friends were never local and if they were - they were brought up abroad - I am used to them than being with a local person. My ex said I don't act like an asian living in Asia... not too sure that is a good thing or not. Of course, he is Malaysian and lived in London most of his life and now in Australia.

I was brought up where my parents expects me to assimilate to certain ways and cultures of other people. And this is particularly true with food. I would be as comfortable as eating fried noodles as to eating ceasar salad and steak. Though, because I lived so long without any roadside stalls, I am not particularly fond of them. Getting knocked down by a passing car is something I really don't fancy.

Dating wise though, I have to admit, I rather go out with a caucasian. Yes, I might pass as a Sarong Party Girl. Though, I really have no clue how to wear a Sarong and I am not much of a party goer. I am female though - so that Girl part is ok.

My ex is a chinese guy and my experience with him - lousy as hell. Would I want to date a chinese guy? Not really.

Malay? Well, let's put this way - unhappy would be the most diplomatic way to express my feelings. I am in most disagreeable murderous mood with a particular person who doesn't understand the concept of NO. Trying to force oneself on a person is not a good thing.

Indian? ... Hi ...... Never to hear from them again. Forever

There are good and there are bad. I am not saying I am prejudice or anything.
This is my log, afterall. And I am sharing my thoughts, afterall. But once bitten, twice shy would be aptly place on me - my personality.

Yes, there had been lousy caucasians. But there are good ones. Just that only asian guys I knew who won't be such an arse around me are the ones who thinks I am just a wee too mad for them or something. What says you, BirchingPhobia?I know he thinks I am nuts. LOL.

alisa_d 39F

5/25/2006 6:07 pm

To each his own... besides, you're the one who's gonna sleep with the guy, don't feel guilty about.

As for me, caucasians are fine if they're anything like my ex. Otherwise I'd prefer malays. My experience with chinese is probably the same as yours. And indians... they're great friends. period.

And as for birch he's a whole different group altogether! he's liable to think that i'm nuts too LOL!

later lithium!

eternal1969 48M
1634 posts
5/25/2006 9:44 pm

Hmmmm .... thats not good for chinese guys like us isn't it?

lithiumrose 39F

5/26/2006 2:01 am

    Quoting alisa_d:
    To each his own... besides, you're the one who's gonna sleep with the guy, don't feel guilty about.

    As for me, caucasians are fine if they're anything like my ex. Otherwise I'd prefer malays. My experience with chinese is probably the same as yours. And indians... they're great friends. period.

    And as for birch he's a whole different group altogether! he's liable to think that i'm nuts too LOL!

    later lithium!
LOL... Birch is different. And a sweetheart - although sometimes you wondered why his charms aint working.

lithiumrose 39F

5/26/2006 2:05 am

    Quoting eternal1969:
    Hmmmm .... thats not good for chinese guys like us isn't it?
There is one chinese guy who was promising but I think he is scared of me or something. I don't know!!! He kept vanishing before I can get hold of him!

birchingphobia 41M

5/26/2006 2:46 am


I’m a Malaysian. My grandma is an Irish, my grandpa is a result of Arab plus local, my mom’s dad is a Chinese and her mother is an Indian mix ‒ that means I’m a Rojak! Rojak is a delicious food and Rojak is the true face of Malaysian. I know I don’t look like a good mixture but that’s my family tree & that’s what I’ve been told as the truth. Hmmmm… maybe I was adopted but that’ll be another story. Hehehe.

Anyway, who you date is your preference and preference comes from experience. As you have stated, that you spend much time abroad and most of your friends were never local and if they were, they were brought up abroad ‒ THAT’S EXPECTATION! Same goes for us locals. Most of us are born and breed locally & by now you should understand how locals were brought up ‒ most of us are brought up with only the basic knowledge, no question must be asked, the elder is always right though you know they’re wrong and everything is a taboo!

Your parents did great when they expect you to assimilate to certain local’s ways and cultures. They want you to blend wherever you go but blending is hard ‒ You need a good blender for a perfect cocktail! Your task ‒ FIND THAT BLENDER!

We locals like to improvise. The best proof is our automotive industry. A Mitsubishi or a Renault is called a Proton, a Daihatsu is called a Perodua and KIA and recently Peugeot is called a NAZA. Same goes with other things here. Roadside stalls became famous thanks to locals who went abroad and bring the idea of an open air cafĂ© in Europe and US home .In oversea, the idea is fantastic because the pavement area are bigger and it rarely rains. Here we need to improvise coz our government never thought of such idea so our sidewalk remain the same size (well, it’s originally for walking…hehehe. And we’re no big foot). Eating by the roadside became instant hit and everyone here follows! You must understand Malaysians has no ‘road’phobia! Have you ever been with a typical Malaysian driver? We are aggressive, reckless and irresponsible! So, when they start placing tables and chairs on the road, we didn’t complaint. We are the Road Warrior! Hahaha! To us, knocked down by a passing car is a challenge and there’s insurance to cover anyway and opportunities to sue someone and grab some easy money! Hahaha!

You have always looked like a SPG to me! Hehehe! Here I will teach you how to wear a sarong. Get in the sarong and pull it up. If you’re a right-handed person, pull the right side of the sarong till the left side touches your body and then, with your left hand hold the sarong (at the middle of your chest or better yet, underneath your armpit area). Fold the right part of the sarong towards you and then fold it downwards. Ladies usually folds till the cleavage area. Guys fold it till the tummy area. To make sure it’s tight, fold it small downwards. You're done!

Back to the topic.

Who you date is your choice and it’s up to your preference. I’ll go for a brainy chick anytime or girls that I find brilliant. Hey! You know I tend to get horny fast if I saw a girl reading any book. That’s why I try to avoid myself from going to the library, MPH, Borders & other book stores. I’m a responsible local and I don’t want sexual assault cases to raise suddenly at these knowledge spots! Hehehe!

To me, human are born good. The way they’re brought up and their surrounding which will affect their action and judgment. But let me try …

Chinese: They’re nice people. They will always stand beside their family and people they consider as their good friend. They hold to their tradition quite strongly though they may look otherwise. Remember ‒ Look can be deceiving! To have a committed relationship with a non-Chinese, they have to be discreet at first and will slowly take the initiative to introduce their partner to their elder diplomatically. They want acceptant to be absolute coz to them, family is important. You need to understand it and as a good businessman, some will find it hard to spend money on unnecessary thins but this action has always lead them to be labeled stingy! No they’re not! They’re cautious, sometime too cautious! And being too cautious in a relationship is not the brightest move!

Verdict: If you want to have a relationship with them, get ready to be a good friend.

Malay: Aha! What can I say? I was brought up a Malay (though we do celebrate Christmas) and my comment may sound bias! Hahaha! Malay is lazy and Malay tends to forget! Hahaha! I’m gonna get kill for this! Nah… Malays take things slow coz most Malays think, by doing things slowly they can enjoy the moment. Yeah right! Sometime it’s too slow, it’s irritating! You need to constantly remind them of what’s important and what’s not. They need to be reminded that you can’t get everything! Malays should remember this saying:

“Yang dikejar tak dapat, Yang dikendong berciciran.”

Literally it means:

“You’ll not get what you’re chasing. And you will loose what you’re carrying.”

They need to concentrate. But they’re nice people. Since they were born, they were thought to be nice and give in but is that good?

Verdict: If you want to have a relationship with them, get ready to be a teacher.

Indian & Punjab: Well, I have my fair share of bad experiences with Indians and Punjabs but not all are bad! They’re the toughest locals around and most of the ladies have the right curves at the right place. Hahaha! They’re good listeners & definitely great chatters! Most of them are brilliant but if they can tone down their ego a little bit, they’ll be perfect! Oh well, everyone has ego. It’s how you react and let it go that counts.

Verdict: If you want to have a relationship with them, get ready to be a good listener and respond!

Caucasian: It depends on which part of the map they are! You said yourself, there are lousy Caucasians and there are good ones. Same goes to us locals!

Verdict: If you want to have a relationship with them, check which part of the globe they’re on. Google it!

Anyway lithium, nowadays most local are more open-minded & we are really willing to learn. But do understand ‒ local act slow thanks to the barriers we ourselves built ‒ the way that we were brought up and our own ego. Be patience and we will catch up! It’s all up to you whether you have the time to see locals change or not.

Hmmm… seriously I don’t think it got to do with your race or how one is brought up. It’s all up to the individual itself. If someone wanna change and be a better person, he’ll learn and he’ll put on the efforts. As I mentioned earlier, all human are born good.

Asian guys who are not an arse around you and think you’re just plain mad, maybe build barriers too language, expectation and resulting low self esteem. Most locals who understand English may not be able to communicate with you in English perfectly. They know, they understand but to not being able talk back in grammatically correct English will make them think they sound stupid and to sound stupid is not a good move. Expectation on the other hand refers to financial stability. Everything nowadays needs money. Foods, car, petrol, party… everything to show a lady a good time at the best of places consumes lots of it. Yup, she may be fine hanging out at home or in front of KLCC’s fountain but doing the same routine is boring! Caucasians? Don’t they have the same problem? Hmmm.. let say a clerk here earns RM1800 per month. A clerk in UK also will get the same figure but in pounds. Then the same clerk from UK come here and still earns the same figure but converted it to the local currency, he’ll get RM11,700! Woaaa! With that kind of money here, he’ll be living on the fast track. The local clerk who earns RM1800 still loose anyway & he will not be able to show the finest locals can offer. Yups! Coz it’s costly! Unintentionally, you will give the local clerks high expectation and all these with bring him to low self esteem. So, he'll opt to shut up, build a mental block that you’re crazy and settle for that!

Hahaha! It’s your log after all and after all, you’re saying your thoughts… THANK YOU! We locals appreciate that! Honest! Hahaha!

Anyway, this is only my 1 cent opinion and I’m just ranting. All this don’t count okay? To all… SORRY but I’m being frank!


birchingphobia 41M

5/28/2006 12:50 am

And yeah... YOU're nuts!

lithiumrose 39F

5/28/2006 4:25 am

And I like you! And the guy who doesn't the word NO lives in your old neighbourhood. If you see him around, whack his balls with a hammer please?

birchingphobia 41M

5/29/2006 2:07 am

Give me his address. I wanna shake his hand! You like me? Cool! So is now the best time for me to write personal email to you? Muahahaha!

rm_perera75 42M
2 posts
5/30/2006 8:36 am

hi lithium, I am a doctor lecturing in a university in Kl and I am fro sri Lanka. I like your name because it has a chemical substace and the name of a flower. I read ur letters and it appears u are very open in ur opinions




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