Rating the hangover....  

lilbears 48F
230 posts
9/7/2006 6:17 pm

Last Read:
9/11/2006 6:54 pm

Rating the hangover....

Sorry all but this will be the only one tonight. It is a really long one but I liked it for some reason. So enjoy. I have never had these happen to me.....thank gawd!!!

One star hangover...*
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two star hangover.....**
No pain, but something is defintely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. Th e coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity panake from the 3 am waffle house excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three star hangover.....***
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet coke---yet you haven't peed once.

Four star hangover....****
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your makeup on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five star hangover....*****
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sis in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in a atttempt to get the remants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed thismorning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of theis 'floater' seems to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:


Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:

British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder

Things That Are Downright Impoosible To Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

sextoy69998 41M

9/8/2006 3:10 am

Those are the very reason I don't drink. If you have a good time you want to remember it right, as yourself? Not as some drunk who is acting out of character and embarrassing.

rm_bikerjim1961 56M
356 posts
9/8/2006 3:54 pm

Lil I have trouble saying the first two lists and haven't had a drink in 18yrs and the last list ain't even going there. And in the past have had all the hangovers. The best cure for one is 1, stay drunk, or 2, don't drink. Thats what has worked for me. Jim

rm_moonboy23 37M
893 posts
9/9/2006 8:33 am

any way like you hanger over rating

Can you let me

rm_StevenJ1234 40M
49 posts
9/11/2006 5:52 pm

I think "Sorry, I'm being a jackass" definately applies to me when I'm drunk, or maybe all the time?

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