Memories, childhood secrets  

lil_silhouette 42F
21 posts
2/20/2006 8:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Memories, childhood secrets


I was born and raised on a little Iowa farm. The dairy operation is gone now (too small, couldn't keep up). So are the hogs (too small, couldn't keep up). It's now just an acreage, a homestead, sold to a family that wanted some privacy they couldn't find in the city.

But that's my farm. I can't help being a little miffed that someone else is on my turf.

Oh, if only they new the times I had there.

I learned about my sexuality from the animals there, and from my cousins. It was mostly a comparison thing. See one, check yours, you know?

And animals, they aren't all that shy about it. I remember so many times watching the bull mount cows, fascinated, just frozen there watching. But it was a little terrifying, too. They are so big when you're little. Massive creatures. To see one rising up, that just makes the scene bigger and scarier.

I didn't really know what they were doing. That's mostly why I stood there so fascinated.

I think I was about six when I first wondered about the horses. A boy horse, he just doesn't care. That thing just comes down and swings around once in a while. Most bizarre thing. How could anyone not notice?

My cousin noticed. When I was in second grade, I remember him calling my attention to it and laughing, saying how huge it was compared to his.

I remember that. I remember thinking for the first time that although I sort of knew that boys had those, too, it didn't really sink in, that *boys* had those, too.

And then I remember thinking, surely his didn't do that. People might have penises, but surely boy penises didn't grow like that. It was just a horse thing.

But then he goes, "Hey, wanna see it?"

"See what?" I blinked.

"See MINE!" And then he said, "C'mon."

I followed him around to the back of the barn, where no one from the house could see. Zip. Flop. There it was.

I don't think I said or did anything. I just stared at it. It wasn't anything *like* the horses. What was the matter with this boy? Bizarre, though. You wouldn't think that little stick wouldn't show through his pants.

So I asked him: "How do you get that thing in your pants?"

He said, "Can't now. It'll hurt to put it in."

I was a little bit concerned then, because I imagined sooner or later we had to get back in the house. And was he just going to walk in, that little thing poking out straight ahead of him? Or was he going to have to put his jacket around his waist. I just didn't know what he was going to do.

Then he asked if I wanted to touch it. But I said no. Pee comes out of there, and I didn't want any pee on me.

Then he said, "I showed you mine. Show me yours, now."

I took a couple steps back and said, "No." I took off for the house, but about half way there, I realized he couldn't follow. He'd have to hide back there. And just how would he ever get that thing back in. Horse, cows, dogs...theirs shrink.

I sneaked back to the back of the barn, peeking around the corner.

And that's how it began. Family reunions, visits, he and I would "see how we were coming along." Never had sex, not intercourse. But that's how I first learned about my sexuality. His sister joined us in time, as did a couple of their friends. Lots of comparing, touching, checking how things worked. Good old barn. Good old grove. Good old corn fields. If only the new family living there knew the secrets of that old place.

And you know what? I miss those days. Those days of innocent discovery. I don't regret them. I just don't know how to recreate them. I want that "Show you yours, you show me mine" moment back. The first touches. The careful, tender experimentation, watching the other person's reaction and interest, seeing what they like, don't like.

So far, the guys I meet in chat are "Hey, want me to fuck you with this?" and accompany it with a photo of their fist on their pole. It's all about, "Hey, can I ram you with this till I cum and then wipe myself off and leave you there?" "Can I shove this into your mouth until you gag on my cum?"

I *like* cocks, but I don't want to be "attacked" by one. Know what I mean?

Anyone have similar memories? Anyone want to recreate the "good old days," when it was easy and gentle and a little secret to share just with your own little group.

I like to watch guys cum. It's awesome. I would like to check out what other women have, gradually get her so hot and bothered she can't think, is totally lost in the moment. And then sit around discussing it all after its over, just as we did when we were kids behind the barn.

Who's into that?

annie

PS: this is NOT about bestiality and NOT about pedaphilia...

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
2/20/2006 10:49 am

Hey there. Welcome to the blogs. Check out Cowboy_Deluxe I think you will like his stories.

Purry {=}

Purry


elysianpleasure 49M

2/20/2006 5:26 pm

This was a wonderful rememberance. I enjoyed this more than any post I have read in a long time. Welcome to the blog. Drop by and say hello... and I put you on my watch list.

Thanks,

Elysian


rm_Clementine85 32M
1 post
2/21/2006 12:49 am

as dumb as it may seem There are a few of us guys that dont want to just fuck there are some of us that want to explore things and feelings. If you need any help with you're adventures let me know i'm always willing to help.


iowa_mustang_man 57M
44 posts
2/21/2006 11:17 am

i thank you for putting down into words the same feelings i have had for years looking back on the days when i was young and out on the farm, i would enjoy talking with you at anytime, i remember going out on trail rides that lasted all week end long, camping in the woods with nothing more then what we had with us setting around the camp fire tell tails of things that really never happened to se to how wild the would become, learning about sex threw some of the stories and from watching the cows dogs pigs and horeses, oh how i to long to relive some of those time my self, i went to the Rodeo last summer and all the old times just came rushing back to me, just a shame there was no one to share them with.


lil_silhouette 42F

2/22/2006 4:01 pm

    Quoting iowa_mustang_man:
    i thank you for putting down into words the same feelings i have had for years looking back on the days when i was young and out on the farm, i would enjoy talking with you at anytime, i remember going out on trail rides that lasted all week end long, camping in the woods with nothing more then what we had with us setting around the camp fire tell tails of things that really never happened to se to how wild the would become, learning about sex threw some of the stories and from watching the cows dogs pigs and horeses, oh how i to long to relive some of those time my self, i went to the Rodeo last summer and all the old times just came rushing back to me, just a shame there was no one to share them with.
Oh thank you. I was a little bit nervous to just blurt out some of that stuff. But I've only had good responses to it. It is such a relief to hear there are others out there who have these kinds of cherished memories.

So tell me. At our age, how in the world would we go about recapturing some of those moments. You know? As kids, it was just pure and innocent and fun stuff. Sneak around stuff. Most of the posts I seeen around so far...just not what I'm looking for. But you guys, you "get" it -- or at least seem to.

Is it something that can be recreated? Or is it something you can only cherish from a distance, look back on with smiles and blushes?

I never bring this up with my cousins today, of course. But I've thought about it. I've tried to imagine it.

Anyone here ever succeed? I mean, locate some old playmates and relive the careless explorations and innocent sexuality from when you were just a child?

Tell me if you have!

annie


iowa_mustang_man 57M
44 posts
2/23/2006 6:02 am

well like i said i went to the rodio last summer and the memmories all came rushing back to me, to relive them i am not shure if that could ever be done gut to make new ones that tie in to them yes that would be easy to do, and along with some one new exploring each others old memmories would be a way of reliving them in it's self wouldn't it? i still have a uncle with horses that we could go riding some time if you wish, and out riding and talking you mite just be abule to let your mind drift back to the good old days, be a kid again and find that smile that has been so long put away, i to have this though of just kicking back out doors some where having a picknic in a park just talking maybe kicking water at each other laughing and being a kid again if only for a day, kind of a break from reality if you will.


lil_silhouette 42F

2/25/2006 8:29 am

    Quoting iowa_mustang_man:
    well like i said i went to the rodio last summer and the memmories all came rushing back to me, to relive them i am not shure if that could ever be done gut to make new ones that tie in to them yes that would be easy to do, and along with some one new exploring each others old memmories would be a way of reliving them in it's self wouldn't it? i still have a uncle with horses that we could go riding some time if you wish, and out riding and talking you mite just be abule to let your mind drift back to the good old days, be a kid again and find that smile that has been so long put away, i to have this though of just kicking back out doors some where having a picknic in a park just talking maybe kicking water at each other laughing and being a kid again if only for a day, kind of a break from reality if you will.
That sounds exactly right, mustang man. That brings back lovely memories. Had this really old mare, you know. Wasn't like the other horses. Completely did her own thing no matter what. I might be riding with dad, cousins, friends... all in single file along a crick. Then, whoom, old mare would decided we need to go up and over the bank. Nothing could change her mind. Something about that I liked. All that power beneath you, making up its own mind, going verticle, not really caring about the little feather in the saddle, who was holding on for dear life. Charging up to the top of the bank, then settling easy, grazing, and me kicking and yelling and tugging the reins and flapping them to get her to move. Everybody would be laughing and have to ride over to me. Funny... you made me remember all that. You know, I never had a picnic like you're talking. That would be so neat. Quiet. Easy. Forget time. Forget the rest of the world. Very nice.


LimasStrewMussy 107M

2/26/2006 6:41 am

I am a city born and bred guy, but have always been partial to a quiet afternoon in the woods. However, I grew up where there weren't many woods but the desert was within walking distance. Sliding and sand-boarding down the dunes was fun but the sand got everywhere . Never rode a horse, but had camel rides from the occasional cart rolling by. Those days are gone, even for those who are growing up back home now.


iowa_mustang_man 57M
44 posts
1/19/2007 9:07 am

hey swetue any time your up for going on a picnic just let me know. taking time to just set and talk or go out on a long walk in the woods just sounds great to me. well i hope that you will read this as i have not been in reading the blogs in awhile. so if you do get this feel free to say hi to me my email is the same as here at yahoo
looking forword to talking with you more about the growing years and all the fun we had.

bye for now
~~~Mike~~~


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