The martyr rises again  

rm_kyrayne 54F
24 posts
2/12/2006 5:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The martyr rises again

So I ranted and raved the other night about this guy that is jumping to conclusions, hasn't even met me yet, and is acting like it's the end of the world because a friend of mine pulls a joke, but instead of asking about that call, just goes off on his little tangent.... right?

Let me update this one: Yesterday I started a new p/t job and worked 12 hrs first day (medical field, nothing new). I couldn't even get to my email until after 9pm and this guy has now sent me 4 emails plus a voicemail after I blew up on him. Now he is apologizing for jumping to conclusions, still wants to meet me, is still "crazy" for me although we haven't even met, and then, because I can't answer his emails because I'm working, the last one I get from him he's on the same trip again. Now it's "I guess you decided not to give me another chance", "I'm sorry I lost my chance to meet up with the sexy redhead that is driving me crazy".... and other things like that.

So once more I go off: Told him that he is once again jumping to conclusions, I hadn't decided anything about a second chance because I didn't know he had even tried to get me to agree to it. And just point blank told him that I really just don't know about him, he's really starting to scare me.

How do you get "crazy" about someone after a few emails (about 3) and a couple phone calls(about 4)? I mean, is that possible? Would someone out there, (I dunno, maybe kyplowboy?) tell me if this is possible? I really think I'm becoming seriously worried about this man's mental stability. If there was even a snowballs' chance in hell of me meeting him before, there isn't one now. Does anyone else think that maybe this man is somewhat mentally unstable or is it just me?

rm_BiF33Ut 51F
295 posts
2/12/2006 8:24 am


Waving in the wind...

RUN! Kyra! RUN!

Yes, I have had this "pleasure" too.. it's funny how some men think that you are hanging on at the other end of the keyboard, waiting upon hope that we might be waiting for him.... I got the initial email once at about 7 am, by noon we were needing counseling for our relationship and by 3 I was looking for a new man, and by 6pm I was just the bitch that had dumped him for no reason... and by the time he'd gotten some beers in him (maybe about 6:15) I got another letter accusing me of being a fake, tease, cunt, stupid bitch, and disrespectful to him because I was giving "all these other joes" a chance and not him. Infact, I think he said in hindsight he was glad he never put his cock in me because it was probably rank with other men's crusty cum... or maybe I wasn't a girl at all... maybe I was a guy posing as a girl to get my perverted fantasies filled....

I tell ya.. men (a large majority of them) suck.... there are a few exceptions... and those men need credit too because they suck, but on a whole different level they nibble and bite and pinch too.. so those are the ones we want to keep LOL!

Ok.. in summary.. I think you should run like hell from this guy.. block him for sure.. and then go ahead and trash him in your blog if he continues

Good luck with the flake

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
2/12/2006 9:35 am

I agree with BiF33ut don't get involved with him he sounds like a nut to me.

kyplowboy22 62M

2/12/2006 10:31 am

How do you get "crazy" about someone after a few emails (about 3) and a couple phone calls(about 4)? I mean, is that possible?

Yup, it is....the operative word here being 'crazy'.

My guess is that after many attempts to get a response from a woman, he finally got one from you. That is a single thread of hope that he was holding on to. Which is fine and dandy. His responses, however, were not in line with the stage the relationship was in, which was infancy.

He did the same kinds of things I wrote about in my post the other day, with a few variations. He kinda exhibited the "buck fever" syndrome, I think. To drop a deer, you have to be patient, wait for the best shot and then take your time, aim well and squeeze the trigger. You have to look down the barrel of the rifle at the sights and not be looking at the antlers on the deer's head, imagining how good they will look on the wall by the fireplace. lol This guy apparently failed to do that. He was watching the antlers, threw the rifle to his shoulder and jerked the trigger. Then stood there mystified as the deer bounced away with nary a hair touched. It is a common problem men suffer from.

I can't speak for this guy, I don't know him. I can't speak for you for the same reasons. But I can address the scenerio and I believe within the framework of what you have told us the following happened:

1) He didn't read your profile or read into it what he wanted it to say. If he is looking to land a woman on a permanent, exclusive basis, then you are not the one for him. It is clearly stated in your profile and blog. He was wasting his time to start with. Might wanna look at your profile and see if you could lay out your desires a lil more better, to avoid these mistakes in the future.

2) I am not sure about his response to the phone call deal, but I know what mine would have been. Although it was a big joke on your friends end of it, it would not have been on mine and I would have took his message as coming from you. Where I would have differed from him is that I would not have written or called you at all. The ball would have been in your court. You would have called or written me and we would have had a laugh about it or we would never have spoken again. I wont play games of the heart. I think your friend was a bit presumptuous in his familiarity with this guy, but that's just me. He was out of line. Pride is a character flaw of most men, me included. lol

3) Well, like I stated above, there would not have 4 emails and a voice mail to worry about, unless you were the one making them. I would kinda wonder about this guy too, if I was you. He is just desparate, I guess...but he can't see that he is a lot of his own problem. If a woman does not want to be around me, I insure that her wishes are fulfilled. I am not gonna stalk her and I'm damn sure not gonna beg her. I just accept it that it was not to be and move on. He is looking for a girlfriend and you are looking for FWB. How much farther apart in goals could you get? lol

4) The more you respond to and are affected by what he does or says, the more he will do and say. Get it out of your mind, move on and ignore him. As long as you keep a dialog of any kind going with him, the longer he feels he must defend his position. If you won't fight and argue back, it then becomes the sound of one hand clapping.

Anyway, I don't know if this helped or not...may have pissed you off at me. But that's ok too. I try to tell my friends what I think they need to hear and not what they want to hear. Later


rm_kyrayne 54F

2/12/2006 5:46 pm

I want to thank all of you for your responses. Even you kyplowboy. Yes, my profile states exactly what I'm looking for. And you email someone, you talk with them a time or two to try and get a connection, you make it plain what you're looking for, and some people still just don't get it. I think kyplowboy that your response about waiting for me to make the first contact after that was wise... and exactly what I was going to do. But when I got on and found all those emails and then the next day more emails and voicemails?? Huh... too far. Be careful out there people... you just don't know what exists. No matter how nice they seem, no matter how well a connection may seem, watch for those red flags, then run like hell.

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