Men, The Emotionless Bastards We Are  

rm_kneel_be4me 50M
264 posts
5/20/2006 8:13 am

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5/20/2006 5:16 pm

Men, The Emotionless Bastards We Are

wrote a post Men have FEELINGSand I agree with her post that men do not share their emotions enough and we need to step up and be more emotional... But I am going to try and explain a little bit as to why we are the way me are.

If you believe the wedding vow that when two people get married they become one... Then they have to fit together as one... strengthening each others weaknesses, and filling each others lack. Its a known fact that women are emotion driven and men are logic driven... A relationship needs both to be complete. We were created to be different and act and react differently.

IF you are a creationist men were created to make hard decisions without emotional baggage interfering to help the family survive, It was also so that we could combat in war times without all the emotions that would keep us from doing what we needed to survive.

If you are an Evolutionist It was again used to move the family in times of needs without the emotions effecting them. It was also used to think logically in the hunt so the family would survive.

Yes these things are in the past and are not needed as they once were. But there are times when that emotionless logic needs to come to the front.

My Ex would get herself all worked up over finances and decisions about the family. We would sit down and discuss these issues and all of the alternatives. She got time to voice her opinions and ideas, but it was in the end left up to me to make the final say. There were times that I took her advice and there were times when I didn't. On the times that I didn't she would flip out... She couldn't handle letting it go and not working "her" plan. She let her emotions rule the choice and couldn't handle a more logical path. Now neither of us were 100% on our choices, but there were times when we needed that unemotional choice to be made and if it hadn't we would have had severe consequences.

I agree with her when she says men need to show more emotion in a relationship, most of the reasons men were made or developed the logic control are not necessary any more. But at the same time we still need that logic base to look at things just as they are without the sway of emotions.

Since I took those wedding vows I have worked hard to be able to show some emotions... Am I good at it?... HELL NO.... But I am far better than I was eight years ago. Eight years ago I could not have written any of the stuff I share in this blog, every word would have gotten trapped in my head and heart. All I can do is hope that I am better at sharing in my next relationship than I was in my past ones.

The one thing I want to stress about this whole thing is not to get to worked up over this. We evolved or were created this way for a reason and (if your an evolutionist) it took 20,000 years for us to get like this. It is going to take some time for us to develop new skills. But also remember that it is something that has been developed to let the two people that have now become one to be more complete, with his strengths filling her weaknesses and her strengths filling his weaknesses.

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
5/20/2006 3:45 pm

All of that makes perfect sense. Men had to appear emotionless, be robotic, to get the job done.

As you said, it isn't necessary any longer for men to be that way... not most men, anyay. Soldiers, police men, government powers, all need to be able to make logical rather than emotional, decisions.

However, I think it's possible that the lack of emotion causes lack of empathy. That is obvious in cases of war, where soldiers will & pillage and kill innocents just for the hell of it, since there's no consequences, not even emotional ones.

In reference to relationships, it makes them dump their girlfriends on a whim, not taking them seriously, taking them for granted, putting them last on their list of importance. Some women are good at making a man keep on chasing her, but that can be exausting, and I detest games.

I think what makes my relationship with my husband work so well (in case you didn't know, Square is my lover, not my husband, and yes, they know all about each other), is we are closer to being equal. We both are emotional & logical. There are some things he's better at, some I am, but neither of us is mostly one or the other.

Square & I are opposite. He's ALL logic, I'm all the emotion.

Perhaps there has to be equality in both sides of being a human for relationships to work? I see your point about men being logical, women being emotional, and the two halves make the whole. BUT... I think they'd understand each other better if there's equality.
Thanks for this!
Hippie XXX

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