And, of course!  

kitz6 61F
1045 posts
2/21/2006 7:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And, of course!

Military Service

"Thank you for calling the United States Armed Services. Please select from the following options.
If your crisis is small, simple, and close to the sea press 1 for the United States Army.
If your concern is distant, with a temperate climate, and good hotels and can be solved by one or two low risk high altitude bombing runs, please press 2 for the United States Air Force. Please note that this service is not available after 1630 hours or on weekends. Special consideration will be given to customers requiring satellite or stealth technology who can provide additional research and development funding.
If your inquiry concerns a situation which can be resolved by a bit of gray funnel, bunting, flags, and a really good marching band, please write, well in advance, to the United States Navy. Please note that the Tomahawk Missile service is extremely limited and will be provided on a first come first served basis.
If your inquiry is not urgent please press 3 for the Rapid Deployment Force.
If you are in real hot trouble, please press 4 and your call will be routed to Headquarters, United States Marine Corp. Please note that a compulsary credit check will be required to ensure you can afford the inherent TAD costs. Also be aware that Headquarters, Marine Corp. may bill your account at any time and is not required to tell you why as it will be classified. Thank you for calling the United States Armed Services and have a nice day."

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