Looking for input  

kewlbeanz4fun 49M
6 posts
7/7/2006 2:07 am

Last Read:
8/11/2006 7:01 am

Looking for input


My goddess and I were having one of our exploring sexuality conversations and she posed an interesting question: Is it wrong for a married couple to be interested in having sex outside of the marriage? Does it mean there is a problem.

My response was on the nature of sex and humans in general. Not perscribing to any religion I have shed the hang ups and preconcieved notions of it. I explained that it is a natural thing to want to be promiscuous. It is a primal desire to propgate the species. It is lucky we got the "7 year itch" at the same time. LOL

Love on the other hand, means to me that this person is more than my friend, they are someone that has a special trust bond together. Love is magic. It surpasses the physical and links you in ways that allows telepathy. I have it all the time with my goddess. I'll think something she says it. I'll want something she'll give it. All without uttering a single word.

So if we are so in love, why do we find it intriguing to have the opportunity to have other sex partners? She thinks its the excitement of something new and unfamiliar. The awkardness of the first time all over again. I think she has a point. But does it mean that there is a problem in the relationship? I think not, I feel it is just a natural thing, your thoughts.

LoyalOximeShred 43F

7/7/2006 6:24 am

I agree with your opinion about wanting to explore outside of marriage is fairly instinctual. There are various degrees of emotional connections- some people are spritually connected with one person but yet they connect physically with others. I think the talent lies in separating the two and learning to accept the natural opposition that ensues the acts. Sex with anyone (man or woman) involves a connection of energy; some people naturally have more energy to expand than others. Unfortunately this causes those with less energy to become aggressive, defensive, and eventually reclusive. Our conservative society punishes people who think openly and connect with people outside of marriage but I see it this way: Back in Ancient Greece, people engaged in extreme sexual behavior for two weeks out of the year honoring Dionysus. After having copulated with every person imaginable, they'd go back to their significant others to face fifty weeks of monogamy until the next festival. Did that work? Some of our greatest intellectual thinkers came from that ilk... maybe it's time we regress back to those free-spirited times?

Aside from that, Congratulations on having found your physical and spiritual soulmate!

Cheers,
AdultFriendFinder>--

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
-John Ruskin


kewlbeanz4fun 49M

7/7/2006 8:56 am

Thanks for the reply, sounds, like you may have read the Celestine Prophecies. If you haven't I highly recommend it. As for today's religion, it is the root of the problems of our world. The modern religions only teach intolerance not tolerance. As I study and search for my tribal roots, I find that ancient religion especially those of native americans teach tolerance. They teach harmony of the world. Most "good christians" I have met are hipocrits. Chat more later.


LoyalOximeShred 43F

7/14/2006 8:46 am

The notion of "good christians" seem more like an oxymoron than a phrase. Religious followers, much like any cult, pride themselves on their limitations. Devout followers run into various prejudices and usually wind up jailed (as in the case of puritan author John Bunyan Pilgrim's Progress),or dead (pick any garden variety insurgent 'martyr' over in the Middle East). Either way, you have to sacrifice a shred of reasoning in order to follow through any set religion. This is why religion is losing its grip on society. Our very right to freedom allows us to forget about it (you can thank the bill of rights for that one). We fight so hard to keep allegiance to religion in schools ('under God'), in our currency (In God we trust)- yet our issue truly lies within one concurrent theme: we can't agree long enough to decide who's right or wrong.

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
-John Ruskin


kewlbeanz4fun 49M

7/30/2006 7:54 am

So, after a recommendation from Poetic (thanks by the way) Goddess and I watch Kinsey. Very stimulating movie, I highly recommend it. I think I would draw the conclusion that sex is a natural element and that people are not to meant to be monogomous from a sex standpoint, but from an emotional nuturing standpoint they are. At the end of the day I am glad I married my best friend and that we have been open and honest enough to express these desires and have the courage to act on them.

It is such a risky business, but in the end I feel that our firendship and true love of one another out weighs our physical deisres and we can be secure enough to choose this path.

Some may say that if our relationship is so strong, why would we choose to share each other with someone else. I can honestly answer that it is because of the strength of our relationship. Some may choose to bind in an exclusive relationship, but that is not the natural way. We all have that deep primal desire, some more than others. It is the social bounds that many hold to that limit desires, but I guess that is what keeps us from Anarchy.

However imagine a society, where the social family included all adults and children were born without knowing who may be their real father. But the community as a whole male and female acted as fathers and mothers to all children because of it. How lucky would that child be? Feeling love and guidance from all around them. Learning from multiple masters in multiple disciplines. Somewhat utopian, but interesting. This would cure some ills of the world I believe. However I think it would only work in small communities and would thus preclude the establishment of our modern world. I don't think it would scale very well.

Well enough on this, maybe more later.


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