The Venting Poem  

keithcancook 61M
11107 posts
3/27/2005 3:01 am
The Venting Poem

Grrrr. I have been hearing about missing posts in this somewhat irritataing system they have here and now it has happened to my blog. My first post has gone AWOL. Like it never existed and my words were never spoken. I am going to repost it here again. Not because it is good (heck it never even generated one single comment) but because it is a part of me and that is what this blog is... a part of me.

I wrote this years ago to unload some old baggage.


To the meanest woman I'll ever know
you took "selfish" to a frightening low.
With tongue as sharp as a scaling knife
your verbal abuse gave me a miserable life.

Returning home from my 12 hr. day,
I'd find you drunk and pounding away.
On your computer where you spent all your time.
Looking for men while playing online.

Our children unfed, the laundry undone
you made me to feel that I was the one
who was the cause, of all of your pain
and I took it all, my loss was your gain.
For I truly loved you and wanted to learn,
the reason for which, love was not returned.
I struggled tormented, to try and discover
the the whys and the wherefores you sought out new lovers.

And you led me on, caused me to believe
that we had a chance, but you did decieve.
So you lied and mislead, since you needed me still
and that was only because we still had our bills.
But you had no intention to regain what we had
you wanted out, and you wanted out bad.

It's hard to forgive you for that final year
'twas a waste of my effort, my heart full of fear.
Wanting to fix what I thought I had broken
listening intentently to all that was spoken.
And you used that against me, that I can see,
my trusting good nature, my honesty,
was manipulated and twisted to suit your own ends,
you horrible witch, my heart you did rend.

Our four year old daughter wandered neighborhood streets
and through the kindness of neighbors, found something to eat.
Unheated waffles eaten straight from the box
nourished our children while you played the fox.
Searching for someone, you ignored us all
painting your nails and having a ball.

I saw you provoke me with full intent
to drive me to hit you, you wanted me sent
off to the jailhouse you would not relent.
I know that is true, I read your own words,
but you don't really know me, for it wouldn't work.
I am not an abuser, that is not my way
but you don't understand me and I would not play.

I'll never forget when you called up the cops
and made up a story to get me sent off.
But you were the drunk one, it wasn't enough.
And you were the one, who ended up cuffed.
And that time at my parents, our children you scared,
ranting and raving you were unaware,
that the police you had phoned to come and get me
for taking our kids, would let me go free.
That plan didn't work out, the cops were not drunk.
And our children were witness to the depths you had sunk.
That's two times you called them and it didn't go far
for both times you ended in the back of the car.

The sex you denied me hurt only you.
And if you look back, you will know that its true.
I did all the work, I desired to please you.
But what about me? I have needs too.
But heed if you read this, I just want to say
that over the years you were a terrible lay.
No passion was in you, you lay on your back.
It was almost like loving a limp gunneysack.

So I was not missing when you cut me off,
while you got your jollies in the internet loft.
and through it all, I kept my dignity
and remained true, throughout all your frigidity.

Now I am not saying I'm better than you,
but I am loyal, upright, and true.
And you know well, that I am no liar
your morals are low, mine are much higher.


3/29/2005 2:08 am

Very well writen Keith , just sorry you and your children has to go through that abuse

tiger5350 68F

3/30/2005 4:48 pm

I went through something like that but he was the one who was the abuser His mental and verbal abuse became so bad I moved out No one should have to go through things like that

sportyfun56 107M

3/31/2005 1:26 pm

Well said.

keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
4/1/2005 3:36 pm

Thankyou all for your kind words on this poem. Someone suggested to me in an e-mail that it was a bit poisonous. Yes, it is. But it is a vent, it is not supposed to be fair. I was with that woman for 15 yrs and it wasn't all like that by any means. Just the last 2 yrs. Also, I did not vent against my own indiscretions (I had much at fault too), since this one was all for HER.

playfulwithyou33 57F
961 posts
4/2/2005 4:02 pm

bummer...but hey, now you have distance and perspective...sometimes lessons are a hard learn.

rm_BigDnLady 44M/42F
1140 posts
6/6/2005 3:42 pm

I do not know if you will find this comment, but I hope that you do at some point in time!! I understand everything you wrote about!! I even lived part of it, I have been in your shoes! However, I WAS abused, and still have many of the scars!! I truly admire and feel a kinship with those who have walked in the same shoes as I, and am truly glad that your kids have such a great role model for a father!!


keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
6/14/2005 8:01 am

I did see you comment eventually Lady my friend. TY for your input.

expatbrit49 64M

6/17/2005 5:15 pm

Ah so the trickery starts only a few days and we are re-posting.

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
6/19/2005 9:10 am

expat ol pal, I am not sure how this post got here. I must have been drinking. It has been a mystery to me ever since it appeared. I would have deleted it but I got some comments and in those days comments were few so I kept it...LOL.

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