Expat_thebrit Has Vanished! Foul Play Suspected In Missing Ego Case  

keithcancook 61M
10901 posts
3/13/2006 10:27 pm
Expat_thebrit Has Vanished! Foul Play Suspected In Missing Ego Case

AFriendFinder TATTLER



Southern District, BlogLand.
The gentle and soft-spoken alter-ego Expat_thebrit has been reported missing by his master, expatbrit49 . He was last seen posting in May, 2005 but has reportedly been hanging out with some of BlogLands other alter-egos at a local club.

Suspicion immediately fell on [blog koocnachtiek] koocnachtiek who sources say despised the reclusive brit for being a "sissy mary" and "woman wanna-be". thebrit was last seen wearing bright red speedos which gives some credence to koocnachtiek's charges.



Star reporter for the TATTLER, Kasey Sea, has managed to obtain portions of transcripts from the interrogation of koocnachtiek by the BlogLand Police Department, and part of them are reprinted for our readers below.

BLPD: Sit down Mr. koocnachtiek. We have some questions for you regarding the disappearance of one Expat_thebrit, who was reported last seen in your comapany. You know thebrit don't you? Where did you last see him?

koocnachtiek: Yeah, I know him. He used to hang out with all the other alter-egos down at the Id. We usually gather there after work, but thebrit hasn't worked much since the Spring that I am aware of.

BLPD: The Id, eh? tell me about that.

koocnachtiek: It's a watering hole a block off Fornication Avenue in South Central Blogville. Lots of us alter egos go there after we do a job. Usually you can find LeFemmeKate, papy_, eos, and more recently vanna4u winding down on any given day. It's the only time we can ever get away from our masters. We do our best plotting there. It is a place where we just let our base instincts take over. Our primitive needs seem to be immediately satisfied when we tap into the Id.
(muttering) Or is it the Id's tap that sets us off? Hmmm...

BLPD: Yeah, we've long known about all you nut cases gathering there. Until now, there haven't been many complaints. Most of y'all alter-egos are pretty tame, (read lame) but a few of you can be considered dangerous.

koocnachtiek: Dangerous? No one has been injured. Unless you are talking about my masters pride.

BLPD: Ha! I'm surprised he hasn't deleted you for all the antics you have pulled this past year. You almost got him drowned rowing to Australia to cure wyvernrose 's horniness.

koocnachtiek: Hey. That was a long time ago. Besides, I'm only trying to get the poor schmuck laid.

BLPD: So much for trying. All BlogLand knows you have failed miserably. He is the least laid man on AdultFriendFinder.

koocnachtiek: Just a minute! You don't know what I have to deal with or you wouldn't be so hard on me. He is nearly worthless when it comes to women. Why, he can't even read BlogLandic Erotica without stammering, stuttering, and blushing all over. You should try and get him laid if you think it's so easy.

BLPD: Enough about keithcancook. Let's get back to the missing Expat_thebrit. You say he hasn't worked much this year?

koocnachtiek: That's right. And to tell you the truth we're all better off for it. That was one wimpy alter-ego alright. He was downright female if you ask me. Running around saying how nice and sweet he is and crying whenever something untoward occured.

BLPD: So, you did not like this alter-ego at all? Was there no saving grace for him? Nothing that would endear him to you in any way?

koocnachtiek: There was NOTHING. Nada. He was virtually worthless as an alter-ego. He was certainly a disgrace to men, and I do beleive he secretly wished his master had created him female. Besides, his syrupy sick sweetness always made me wanna puke.

BLPD: You are beginning to sound like pigcancook. We have questions for him too. Do you know the whereabouts of said swine?

koocnachtiek: Sure I do. He's with my master. All of them are.

BLPD: All of them? What do you mean?

koocnachtiek: Did you not know? keithcancook has split into multiple personalities. I am only one personification of his warped and devious mind.

BLPD: Yes, we are aware of several of them. The PUBLISHER has given us cause for concern, although his activities have been muted as of late. He has gotten scrutiny from us before due to that damn rag of his, the AFriendFinder TATTLER.

Nor have we been able to tie down the LURKER's whereabouts either. He has vanished into the basements of BlogLand and his trail is growing cold. However, we are still recieving intermittent calls from outraged BlogLanders whose basements he has spraypainted. He remains the most notorious grafitti artist in all the Land of Blog.

The manner in which keithcancook keeps spinning these alter-egos off is making it difficult to keep pace with him. We have lately been shadowing Kasey Sea, that intrepid TATTLER reporter, ever since he showed up here at the station investigating thebrit's disappearance. Kasey Sea seems to be rather harmless as far as alter-egos go, and at this point hasn't been seen much in this town. It will probably go better for keithcancook if Kasey Sea can keep his nose clean.

koocnachtiek: Hey, can we keep my master out of this? If he finds out I'm down at the station house again he's gonna confine me to that #$^#@!& BOX of his. (He only throws in a little straw and calls that comfort). How much time do you have? I'll tell you everything I know...


3/14/2006 1:47 am

Do you feel koocnachtiek, koocnacgip, kasey sea, pigcancook and you are all on good terms with each other?

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

frangipanigal 46F
10406 posts
3/14/2006 5:19 am

Your absolutely crazy (all three of you!!)..just the way I like it.

Thanks for the giggles.

Frangi xx

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
3/14/2006 7:10 am

you have the wonderful ability to keep us giggling

I'm a

i'm here to stay

pinkzplaytoyz 51F

3/14/2006 8:43 am

hmmmmm, perhaps I need one of those alterEgo thingies...how about PinkzPanther?

happyladychat 49F
3740 posts
3/14/2006 8:49 am

It's fictional right? Coz it's too funny to be true. LL

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!

expatbrit49 64M

3/14/2006 10:09 am

Oh I am sorry to inform you that Expat_thebrit passed away late last summer it seems that once the one comment fiasco faded away he became depressed walking around all day muttering about how worthless he was and how the crafty bloggers had found other more devious ways to comment whore. A few weeks later his remains were found floating in the unique river and a note was discovered in his apartment saying once in 30 days was no reason to live.

Hope this clears up the mystery for you

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

missy9733 35F

3/14/2006 10:09 am

Hey you

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
3/14/2006 1:08 pm


SickHooteredLady 43F
62 posts
3/14/2006 10:25 pm

I'm getting tired of hanging out here at the Id. When are we gonna pull another job?


slidein2meplz 63F
1994 posts
3/15/2006 12:07 am

Egads... SickHooteredLady is on the loose... OMG..lordy, lordy. I thought she'd been put away for good...guess she's been hidin in basements. What is Blogland coming to? What are we to do? Surely there's got to be a logmanto come and save Blogland from the nutty hijinks of the alter egos?

**Slide runs off to search for Jimmy Olsen or Lois Lane to see if they know where he is**

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

HBowt2 60F

3/15/2006 3:33 am

Still waiting for the lurker to visit my basement lol....

starlight_runner 40F

3/15/2006 6:33 am

now you sit down rightie over here n ill make ya a nice cuppa.

kisses star

rockwriter58 57M
1389 posts
3/15/2006 1:40 pm

Great to see The Tattler back in action.


And when do the staff members who were laid off get their unemployment checks?

interested13563 54M
2557 posts
3/15/2006 4:28 pm

Maybe I should create a "harmful" alter ego!

vanna4u 39F

3/15/2006 6:57 pm

Koocna! Be careful!!! I love you!!!!!!

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
3/15/2006 7:01 pm

Oh for crying out loud...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

citizen_2point5 48M
71 posts
3/15/2006 9:12 pm

Damn, how come I never got invited?

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
3/15/2006 9:26 pm

Damn...that was very entertaining...Thanks for your work!...


jadedbabe78 107F

3/15/2006 9:45 pm


_CoffeeNoCream_ 54F

3/16/2006 3:57 am


keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
3/16/2006 10:46 am

Well MOfunNOWWOW, there are a few disagreements between them. Generally, they don't see each other too much but all of them are tuned to pigcancook in one way or another.

Um, sorry about that little breakdown I had over at your place recently, sweet. I have recovered now.

BlogLand breeds insanity, frangi sweetie...

It is only because y'all inspire me so, papy.

An alter-ego for you, pinkz? That is a fine idea. I'm sure that koocnachtiek would be delighted to show her around and introduce her to the other alter-egos down at the Id.

Fiction? In The Venting Blog? Surely you jest, happyladychat!

Hello there, missy my love! I see that you have finally reincarnated yourself once again. Welcome back to BlogLand, girlfriend!

It's only the beginning, old one.

Have you been listening to Huey Lewis songs again, Katey? See ya at the Id, sweetie.

Yes, Tala. Too bad the Shadow Warrior melted in that solar eclipse last year. Ya could'a used his body too...

LOL! Only his alter-ego is missing, sexyfitwoman. Foul play is suspected, but not proven. (yet)

I like you too, candysoveryverysweet!

I think one is in the works now, SHL. Be prepared to lend assistance...

Alter-egos can turn up in the unlikliest of places, slide. You should never be surprised when you encounter one.

The LURKER is a bit um, how should I put this, caustic in his commentary, HBowt2. He has trashed many a basement post in the most sarcastic of ways. Be careful what you wish for, sweetie...

Aww, thank you star. You always were sweet to me. The Venting Blog has missed your visits.

Yes, rocky. The TATTLER is gearing up for more antics at last. Take up your benefit problems with the government. sexyfitwoman is still the mayor, but last I heard the TOWN PLANNER had wrested control when she left the country last Autumn. He bears watching, and The PUBLISHER will be all over him.

I think that is a capital idea, interested. Perhaps you should call him dis-interested ?

Take care, vanna. Inter-ego love affairs have been know to raise havoc before. If ya do get anywhere with koocnachtiek I will be happy to provide y'all with some fresh straw and a new box.

I know just how you feel, wahinie sweetie. Alter-egos can really be exhasperating sometimes, can't they?

We musta lost ya somewhere, 2.5 Just come on down to the Id any ol time.
Heading south on Fornication Ave. turn at the stop sign onto Vee Street. Continue to where it forks into Left-Leg and Right-Leg Boulevards.
That's the spot! We're right there where it splits.

Stay tuned, LT. The Venting Blog will get to the bottom of this funny biznis eventually.

Aw, thanks jadey!

I fear that they will be out in force this Spring, Salz sweetie. Be prepared.

Keep on grinning, CnC.

Yeah, we know about all of them, waggypolly. We're waiting for the separation to occur. Send 'em on down to the Id when they get out on their own...

vanna4u 39F

3/16/2006 10:54 am

Fresh straw? Are you serious? I like Egytian cotton sheets with 300 thread count.

But for Koocnachtiek I'd do ANYTHING!!!! Yes, even that!

keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:22 pm:
I'll tell you what. Just for you I will put a temporary genuine grass roof on the box. Then it will feel just like home for you.

vanna4u 39F

3/16/2006 10:56 am

Excuse me, did anyone find a p? I'm dropping letters again. Sorry!
Wait...I found it. Thanks.


keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:29 pm:
Hey! Wait up! Don't leave just yet, vanna !

I wanted to ask you if what I heard about your mistress is true or not. It seems there is a rumor that she becomes wanton if you can get her into a van. Is this true? Spill, spill....

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
3/16/2006 11:01 am

I KNOW! Aren't they just a royal pain sometimes??? Sigh. So off the wall and totally without restraint. Just willing to jump into to situations with wanton abandon. Drives me nuts.

But you know, I was thinking...
If the alter egos are gonna go there anyway, do you think, uh, maybe, we should, uh, consider possibly...umm...

Oh never mind. It was a silly idea.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

HBowt2 60F

3/16/2006 3:56 pm

Still seducing me I see.......

keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:34 pm:
Ever so subtly, HBowt. Ever so subtly. Just wait until I enter your dreams...

rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
3/16/2006 4:55 pm


[blog talldarkavg1]

keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:42 pm:
Perhaps TallCo™ can help. Any ideas? Maybe an alter-ego locator using GPS technology? They get so scattered at times.

SickHooteredLady 43F
62 posts
3/17/2006 12:00 am

I'm prepared for anything...

Are you?


keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:45 pm:
We are all readily adaptable here in The Venting Blog, SickHooteredLadysoveryverysweet.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

3/17/2006 1:00 am

*giggling* thanks Keith this gave me a bit of a lift hun hugss how are you?

keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:48 pm:
Alls well here Fox4. Thank you so much for asking! Stay tuned to The Venting Blog for further adventures in alter-egoism...

womanoirish 55F

3/19/2006 1:05 pm

Has anyone seen my alter ego?

keithcancook replies on 3/19/2006 5:58 pm:
Oh no!

I hate it when that happens. Mine are always splitting...

I will be happy to help organize a search party. Or, if necessary, I can assist in the birth of a new alter-ego. I am a certified id-wife.

(Or is that just plain ol certifiable?)

rm_koocnachtiek 61M
378 posts
3/19/2006 5:15 pm

    Quoting vanna4u:
    Fresh straw? Are you serious? I like Egytian cotton sheets with 300 thread count.

    But for Koocnachtiek I'd do ANYTHING!!!! Yes, even that!
Don't worry sweetie. We don't need to use the box. (unless you want to). I have other places. Places that even my master is not aware of.

Is this just another trick by keithcancook
to get his text on television?

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
3/21/2006 6:13 am

Excellent.....keep up the good work!

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