How the internet made me feel normal  

kaspar1962 56M
48 posts
9/11/2005 2:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How the internet made me feel normal

I was talking on the phone with an old friend about how life has changed since we were kids. This is not about how things were better back then, because they weren't. I grew up in the '70's in south Arkansas, I turned 18 in 1980. For reference for those younger, this was years before the internet, home computers, satellite TV, video games or even cable until about 1977 where I lived. VCR's were just coming out in the late '70's or early '80's and were not that common. The world was much smaller then because you did not have access to outside sources. Your world could be controlled by the people in your community. What they called normal was accepted as just that without much discussion. Needless to say, my views were not theirs on any topic: religion, politics, social issues or freedom of choice across the board on all issues.

I always felt out of place. While other people listen to Journey, REO Speedwagon and Styx, I listen to Jethro Tull, David Bowie and Queen. I thought the former bands were dull and predictable and the latter bands great. You might be Queen fan now, but this was way before Wayne's World or "We Are the Champions", they were still into heavy opera type songs back then. Being a Queen fan meant to most people that you were most likely, well, a queen yourself. To compound my problem, I hated muscle cars, 4X4 trucks and Jeeps and much preferred English sports cars as my dream cars. And I could care less about sports. In addition I did not, and still don't, hunt, fish or camp. I do enjoy hiking in the woods very much, but don't care to stay the night in a tent. All this together meant I did not fit in at all during my childhood with any other group of people.

I moved to Dallas in '85, but still felt out of place. Lots of people there were so concerned about status...what kind of car do you drive, clothes do you wear, where do you live, etc? I thought big hair went out in the '60's, but not there. I moved to Texarkana in '94, yet still felt out of step.

BUT, when the internet hit, I discovered that I was NOT a freak after all. There were many people just like me in the world. If I ever thought I was weird for any reason, the internet proves beyond any doubt that there are people FAR weirder than I ever thought I was!! And it gave me access to information that my local community doesn't want me to have. I am no longer a victim of petty local officials. So, the internet made me feel almost normal, which is a step in the right direction.

After saying all that, I must confess that I felt adrift the last few days and especially today. I am still recovering from oral surgery, but I return to work Monday. But that is tomorrow and I had nothing to do today because I still feel slightly out of sorts. Fun things did not satisfy. Watching TV, listening to music, reading or visiting in person with a lady were all uninteresting things today. I did not want to be any around people today at all. A true measure of my situation is that I did not even want to go for a drive today. I feel like I am on hold until everything returns to normal. I am not use to feeling bad and having health problems, so I guess returning to good health is the first step and getting back to work is the second step. I hope everything improves soon. I am a person who needs something to do to enjoy life, just hanging out on the couch is pointless, even if you have to do it to get better.

sweetmommy_01 44F

9/11/2005 7:07 pm

It will all get back to normal starting tomorow with work

leo_angel43 56F

9/13/2005 7:08 pm

I hope you've had a good couple of days, and things are getting back to normal

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