dilemma  

kaffryn 46F
47 posts
8/15/2005 5:01 am

Last Read:
9/19/2006 1:13 pm

dilemma


why are we never satisfied??? I thought I wanted to meet someone nice and have a one to one relationship. I have been seeing somone and he now wants it to be exclusive. This is what I thought I wanted all along.

However....I have met some lovely guys on here who I consider as friends as well as playmates. A corner of my brain doesn't want to give up on the fun and attention.

I'm also worried that I won't put 100% effort into the relatioship as I know I have a fall back if it all goes wrong.

My head is a can of worms !! Does anyone know how to switch your own head off !!??

Why is the grass always greener??

rm_splarch2003 57M

8/15/2005 6:32 am

Well its a quandry for sure...

I'm there already with the "100%" relationship and I cannot stay away from the fun & playmates...

All I can say is that I doubt your relationship will ever be 100% if you are enjoying the company of others...

I'll admit that my relationship is probably about 85-90%, but I never allow my "freedom" to encroach on my home life...

It sounds to me like you and this guy don't quite want the same things and ultimately a compromise on either part will mean you're both not happy...

As for satisfaction... Some people are... I'm one who's not - my appetite & tastes go way beyond anything my partner can relate too...

I think when you've had a taste of this life it's really hard to ignore it and not want more...

Turn your head off? Sorry can only help with turning you on..

The grass isn't greener on the other side - it's a trick of the light...

Come chat sometime... S.. x


rm_VoodooGuru1 50M
2053 posts
8/15/2005 6:34 am

I think the Buddhist belief that desire is the source of unhappiness says much about why the grass is always greener, but I can't help you more than that, as I've been in your position many times.

On a lighter note, glad to see you're back and weren't a one shot blogger.

"The central belief of Buddhism is NOT 'Every man for himself!'"


redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
8/15/2005 7:21 am

Sorry we gave up on the labotomy.....just take some time to quiet the mind with a little meditation. Good luck.


longstayer_69 58M

8/16/2005 5:12 am

Hey Kaffryn,

methinks that you already know which you want to choose...

...lifes about paths and journeys isn't it... very few of which.. actually preclude.. going down the other path at a later date... and indeed as such neither path is right or wrong... just different... so... you've chosen the most appropriate path for you for now haven't you!!

good luck and loads-a-happiness on whichever route you've chosen to follow

ls x


rm_Windfarmer 49M
2 posts
8/21/2005 11:30 am

My philosophy would be to always go with your feelings - of course you can change a lot of how you feel by thinking about it, otherwise cognitive therapy for depressives just would not work (or be quite so fashionable), but in my experience it is only a temporary fix and the old thoughts find their way back through the walls you put up and bite you hard later. You cannot change fundamentally what you are.

I don't see a problem with your commitment to the relationship - You seem ready to commit 100% to an open relationship to me, but that is not what your partner wants - I think it is not you with the problem but your partner, who must have known all about your lifestyle from the start - should you try to change someone else? - again my advice is never - learn to accept them as they are or leave.


rm_one4all65 52M
3 posts
8/21/2005 2:26 pm

i think you need to go with your gut feelings we are only here once so make a good go at life!!


whittylad 47M

10/4/2005 10:56 pm

If I'm honest I'll always be admiring that greener grass no matter who I'm with...it all depends on how green my grass is and wether I'm unhappy and looking to change the scenery. My sexuality is a big part of my personality and thats why I'm on here. I never look for 'just' one nighters, if its good I always want to come back for more. I need to make sure its good before it gets deeper and longer term.


sqaddy 46M
1 post
2/5/2006 7:59 am

i think you have got to follow your feelings and hope for the best i know i`ve tried to do what i thought was best for everyone but it has backfired on me so you have got to do what you feel is best for you


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