Questions  

jst4fun915 35F
420 posts
6/21/2006 10:16 am

Last Read:
6/24/2006 10:55 am

Questions


SirLuvsStorms was the first to ask some questions. If anyone else comes up with any, I'll edit to add them to this post.

"If you met that special person that takes your breath away.. could you would you be monogamous or do you know you are poly? What is it about a guy that you first notice that makes you breathe just a little faster? Do you enjoy sex better drunk or sober? Would you rather have that fun boy you are flirting with make the first moves or do you like to make the first moves toward physical intimacy? just curious."

Well, I'm married, so I have already found that "special" person, and we were monogamous for a long time. We probably won't ALWAYS have an open marriage, but right now it is what works for us.
As for what makes me breathe a little faster when I notice a guy, it's often different. Looking at each person I've dated/hooked up with, my first husband, and my husband, none fit into a mold, there is no certain type of guy for me. I do really love a nice upper body... strong shoulders, chest, and arms.
Do I let him make the first move, or do I prefer to? Well, I expect him to. I have, on occasion, made the first move, but in general I gauge how a "date" is going by how long it takes him to make some kind of intimate gesture. If he doesn't make a move by the end of the evening, I'm likely to be quite frustrated.

I realized I missed a question in there... do I prefer sex drunk or sober. Well, sober sex is usually fabulous, and sex with a buzz can be great. Drunk sex isn't so wonderful, usually if I'm really drunk I'm dehydrated, and not feeling very good, which makes for a less than stellar time.

MaggiesWishes 61F

6/21/2006 11:07 am

Well said.
A lady always knows when it's time to move on.

warm wishes 2ya


rm_Pebcac80 43M
104 posts
6/21/2006 3:36 pm

I know how that goes. My wife & I are happy in a poly relationship. It's worked out very well for us. It gives her plenty of time to enjoy the company of guys, and should I feel the need, the opportunity to find the right woman

I think a lot of people get both amazed and frustrated by it. It's a negative that is almost setup by our language. In english, there is 1 word for "love" but eskimos have numerous words. Greeks had numerous words.

While we will both be first in importance in each others life, I'm not so shallow to think that I am the Alpha and the Omega and I am perfect at everything and will always be what is satisfying. And she knows the same. Hey, when you live together, split the bills, raise the kids, don't you have moments where you say "I love you, but man, I need to get the hell away from you for an evening..." ? Of course you do.

In almost a decade we've almost never "really" fought. We've been happy and a lot less stress. The problem with being totally monogamous is that it would require both parties to have the exact same sex drive, desires, etc. at the exact same time. I hear radio hosts pull the "baby, sometimes even if you don't want to, you have to to keep your man/woman". We don't run into that. It's a lot less pressure on us. I'm too tired from work? Fine, go out, have a good time, I will stay home and watch a film. Mother nature driving you batty? And so on.

*laugh* I say that as someone who spent most of the last two years working their brains out. But I'm glad the wife had fun instead of being frustrated. Now, of course, with a few things accomplished it's time for me to go out and find some fun

Hey, life is way the hell too short to find yourself unhappy. So, why? Nobody gets hurt, and everyone leaves with a smile. Nothing better then that


jst4fun915 35F

6/21/2006 4:07 pm

Peb,
You make some interesting points, and I wish my husband could see it more along your views. He has a much higher sex drive, and I have a higher need for social interaction. I don't get jealous of time he spends with other women, but I think he is much more likely to get upset/jealous about me spending time with other men. Of course, we're new to this (relatively at least), so that understanding may come with time.


rm_funforking 38M
2 posts
6/21/2006 5:25 pm

jst4fun and maggie when you talk about a man making the first move lots of men i think make the move two quick and that is what gets them into trouble. i am from a place called burden ks it is just south of you guys and for me a small town boy i prefer to at least let the women know she is interested before i make a move. good eye contact with a smile or something to that effect. i mean with some one as beautiful as you two you kind of have to wait and make sure you know?


rm_firegle 39M

6/21/2006 6:22 pm

well speaking on the fact that different sex drives ussually create horrible end situations an open marriage is very usefull, as long is there is guide lines and rules that are followed. I my tend to be on the more jealous type but dont let my mate know i said that and i have the higher sex drive but the one thing that is probaly kept us together and happy is the the fact that we do realizxe each other has needs and if for some reason needs aren't being met we can go out and play with others. Actually that is one of the reason I think me and my mate or still together bend together going on 7 yrs+ and we've had the open arrangement from the begining, plus it keeps the stress level down and pretty interesting in the bedroom at times.


jst4fun915 35F

6/22/2006 12:04 am

Funforking, I definitely agree, making some sort of "go" sign is key, I wouldn't appreciate a man making a move before I've let him know it's ok, but when I've clearly shown interest by my body language, things
I say, or a look, I expect him to pick up on it. If he doesn't, he probably doesn't get a second chance.


rm_Pebcac80 43M
104 posts
6/22/2006 8:47 am

I agree with the above. You almost have to have a sort of understanding of some sorts at the beginning. Or when you come to an understanding later, you have to both be fully aware and "on board" about it with no reservations.

It's easy to get "jealous" and sometimes it happens. But the difference is whether or not you let that pass over you and move on or if you let it gnaw away at you.

In regards to making the first move, sometimes that's difficult. Guys sometimes have a harder time at this then women think. Basically, women get offered dick 24/7. They just decide what they will and won't accept Guys on the other hand have to do the offering, and some guys build up an internal resistance because they get "show down shy" I call it. So, they sit and wait until they feel as though their risk is at the lowest because they have troubles with the sting of rejection.

I think part of the problems guys have is what is a "go" sign anymore? And it varies from woman to woman. I also think that while you have to wait for the "sign" you can do a lot of good things by laying the groundwork.. ie, work to build her toward a "go" sign, make the situation bend to help make it inducive of a "go" sign That always helps.

Look,if I were to say: jst4fun915, you are a hellacious attractive woman, why don't you come to KC, or I can pop a cessna and head your way and (mersh mersh) out of the clear blue it would not be nearly as effective as if you already have that situation setup. I'm big into the promise-deliver. Converse at first, and get a good feel. And then, if you are going to say that you are going to do something, you had better well be able to back it up

That's all.


SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
6/22/2006 11:19 am

Thank you for sharing Just4fun915 I agree drunk sex sucks!


SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
6/22/2006 11:26 am

Im not a member so I dont have access to your profile. Would you consider posting a "closer" picture of your tattoo? I have always liked body art and yours is interesting. I bet there would be a few of us boys that would like to see yours up closer. always hoping
Sir


jst4fun915 35F

6/22/2006 2:53 pm

Check a few posts back, there is one there.


SirluvsStorms 47M
684 posts
6/23/2006 5:16 pm

Thank you found them Us boys and shiney bright colorful objects.. they just seem to distract us!


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