Ok, a little background now...........  

joelbert 52M
8 posts
3/18/2005 1:22 am

Last Read:
6/2/2008 3:29 pm

Ok, a little background now...........

I started getting on this site through AdultFriendFinder, then all the drama started happening. My ex and I separated in June after just getting married the previous September. She moved into with some friends that I thought were playing go between. They weren't. They enabled more of the same. They thought that I wasn't for her, but I can't blame them. They were motivated by her lies about me. After I was without her, I realized my marriage was just a big lie. I found out she only moved in with me and said everything I wanted to hear. To love someone that doesn't love you back is an unforgivable sin. So I am unforgiven. I had just gotten over a 4 year, ending-with-lawyers-getting-rich relationship(more about that in future blogs). In hindsight, I was hurt and lowered my standards to let a woman that I had just met at a swing club swoon me. I didn't know much, but I liked her. But I had friends warn me that there was something going on. There was. She was a con artist. She has 3 different personalities and I fell for the con artist. She had me hate her ex's that "done her wrong," but had no proof of it. Keep that point in mind. Read on.

On my birthday of all days, she had a wreck in the car her sister gave her because she had to get around somehow to help babysit for her. But what really happened was she conned her into getting it so she could cheat. Define cheating with a swinger and it is clear: She had sex with other men without my prior consent or my post knowledge. Face it folks: If ya swing, tell your partner before you do it and it's ok. After the fact, it's an "oops! sorry!" but it's still cheating. I wasn't even present, but I do know this: She always told me she was satisfied. I could always make her squirt and please her sexually, which I prided myself. What I also did was forgo everyone for her, my debtors and even my family. Truly, she left me with nothing. She was a taker and not a giver. She is incapable of doing that with anyone she is with. She is also incapable of telling the truth.

Which leads me to the other part of the birthday wreck she was in. I spent the day in court to be with her and guide her, but she plead guilty to driving without insurance. But that wasn't why she was held in jail. She was held on an outstanding warrant that was about a couple of years old for probation violation on 3 counts of felony theft by deception in which she was convicted. I scraped every bit of money I had to bail her out, but she was seeing someone else. She said that she loved me and wrote me a letter, called nearly everyday. But it was her supposed boyfriend that told me he was out of the picture, so I was convinced that it was over and she would come back home and fulfill that which she had said: She said we'd get back together and stop the divorce. 3 days later, she was with him. I wanted to die.

I was betrayed and she had no respect for honor and truth. Neither did he. Worse, he is a prison guard within the state prison system with Aryan Nation ties from the IM's he sent me. It's ok, he's getting his now. I let him have her. She had an std later, probably from all of her "generous bobs" she had while he pimped her out, so who knows what she has spread? Only speculation, nothing more. But he did me another favor: He testified some very costly information in court. Stupid people these prison guards are. They can't become cops so they stay wannabes and think they are immune from prosecution when they say stuff that can be proven later to be false. The new governor hates that stuff, so his day will come too. What's worse, she plays this guy the same way, and he is even more stupid than I am. He believes her every word! And I thought I was deserate, but the truth is she only had sex with him for the things he gave her. Sounds familiar doesn't it. Can't blame it all on him, but he wants to take credit for it, so he can also bear the penalty that she brought him. He'll carry that penalty for the rest of his life, which for his pain and suffering he's going through over this, should be short.

She was found in court to be "uncredible" by a judge that, when provided facts, commented on this whole thing. She tried to make herself look good with the impotent pimpwannabecop (she told me that too) so she could still get things from him. Problem is, she will soon dump him for another deep pocketed sucker. And for that, I feel bad for him. But, he did make his bed. Me, mine was taken after I was shoved in it. I blame myself for being duped by, what I now know is the exact opposite, a pretty woman with a sad story and a chance to be the good guy. But it was proven in court that she is a liar. Worse, the woman can't keep a job, but she can grift her way in and out of situations. Her ex told me that all the men she has been with have all been taken financially and otherwise. A user she has proven herself to be.

My ex has to make herself look good because of the bad person she really has become. In a way, I feel for her as a human being to get some sort of counseling. We talked about that before we split up, but she had a huge fear of it, thinking doctors would lock her up. Maybe not a bad idea if it can help her. She has to want it, but then again, it would spoil her grifting ways in life. Too bad it doesn't have a good insurance plan.

My daughter(by the way, she is from my first marriage - a true marriage, not a mistake I made with the con artist/small time grifter) told me she didn't like her to begin with, but didn't want to tell me because it would hurt me. What hurt the most was my ex made me choose her over my own daughter. I am attempting to rebuild what she helped me destroy. It's a daily process, but it is making some progress. That is what is more important. What my daughter told me last week was very profound: She wants me to be happy again and find someone worthy of me. My kid may be only 11, but she's 15 years ahead of her time.

So I have proof of people lying and what does that mean in the scope of my life? Plenty. It means that I have little faith in people anymore.
I question everything, everyones' motives and their truthfulness. I kid around with people I meet and tell them I have to run a criminal background check on the women that just want a lift to work, let alone want to date, even if it is a one-nighter. My scars have healed and I move on, but it's so much easier for the woman in these cases to move on. They can dupe the smartest man in the universe to do anything they want, just because us guys want the "little professor" that all women have. But guys sometimes do the same thing, and those who do make us good guys look like the dogs that the other guys are.

But I still have hope that the woman for me, the one that isn't crazy-just crazy about me- is out there, somewhere. I can't look around anymore because I just keep failing to find her. I am convinced though, that she is out there, somewhere, maybe even reading this blog right now. I want her to know that I can't hold on forever. And it would be a travesty if we didn't get together, even for a moment.

I hope tomorrow is better. I will try to post about the legal stuff I went through with that 4 year relationship.

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