The Single Male Plague  

jesternz001 43M
376 posts
11/29/2005 1:59 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Single Male Plague

Wow. I guess I had been denying it but I am a plague bearer. That has to be the only way to explain it. I have Singlemaleitis. I dont have it as badly as some of the other people I have encountered, but I do suffer from it. I guess in an attempt to protect their delicate immune system, some women have gone as far as to restrict their contact with potential carriers. Its kind of like the Japanese who wear the surgical masks EVERYWHERE (and believe me there are some who do... makes watching them eat hysterical), they shield themselves from potential contaminants by keeping away the only known carriers of the disease. (Only problem is it only affects "Y" Chromosome) That is what all the "NO SINGLE MEN" signs mean... "Please dont infect me".

Now, before you think this is a rant against that, let me go on to describe the symptoms that sufferers of Singlemaleitis have:

1)Obsessions with finding the newest, flashiest, kinkiest sexual act and partner possible. True this is a more advanced symptom, but this explains a lot of things. Things that couldnt usually be explained any other way (Clown sex for one. "Baby grab those big ole red shoes and make your squeeky nose bounce on the floor. It's Howdy Doody Time!") Things that, frankly, frighten the piss out of me.

2)Irrational belief that anyone the infected is attracted to is also attracted to him. Notice I say anyONE. I am a straight guy and I have had to put on profiles "No Single Men" for the simple fact that some guys who get infected seem to believe THEY CAN CONVERT YOU! Sexuality isnt like religion, you can't have a divine experience during it... no matter how good the head is!

3)Complete and total lack of domestic skills... or as I prefer to think of it, proof of the Chaos Theory! I shant elaborate on this as I am as guilty as any other man of having my own private rats nest somewhere.

4) Obsession with Electronics and video games. Men NEVER grow up.

Via Con Carne!

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