oh Jesus, she's a lady!  

jenniferfreak200 37F
3 posts
8/20/2006 6:14 am
oh Jesus, she's a lady!

Well, since I've been blocked out of just about ever website containing the words," Adult, match,friend, xxx,gmail(which I actually have an account on), and a few other's for 'quality insurance'" I've been forced to go to more childish sites I swore I wouldn't try. And you know what...I've actually had fun! I've been using myspace frequently and managed to meet so fun people from high School, Jr, Grade school( Wy)and College. Doesn't get the same responsiveness that this website does, but I'm ok with that considering school starts tomorrow.
I'm now talking to a friend of a friend. She's really nice, seems fun, has pep, great personality, and yes, she's a lesbian. It's safe to meet other women on the net,right? Opposed to men? I kinda sorta asked her to meet me sometime -in a group of friends to play at the batting cages,dinner,movie, etc. I guess I need money,first. I'm not sure what will come of this, hopefully a great friendship.
I'm in the process of trying to get a new mattress for the futon so I can start sleeping in the Kitchen-lol! It's the only place where the darn thing fits, and right now its a better solution than laying next to someone who I barely can tolerate and vic versa. I think we're an an agreement that we really don't like each other and as soon as I get on my feet I need to move out and move on. I think I'm ready fro the moving on part. Seriously, we hate each other. We can't talk, there's zero to no communication, little respect, humor, there's not even a friendship. That died several years ago, we just like positive labels.
It's getting to the point where my daughter is noticing the friction, it's not right nor fair. I don't want her thinking that this is normal. That being unhappy and miserable is the way things should be. This book has to close before we kill each other!
I'm not sure if I'm ready to date again, men still scare me to the point of wanting to be a hermit. I'm torn between wanting to meet people so I can find someone who relates to me and hopefully, get married,etc...but I'm still pessimistic. I keep seeing the nice gental souls being just like the ex. Everything I've ever wanted, than at a turn of a dime turn into everything I fear. I really hated feeling the way I did for so many years, and I don't want history to repeat itself. I always thought by being friends first would make everything better. To get to know one another, less negative surprises. WRONG. So now I'm afraid of making guy friends. Doesn't help that just about every guy I talk to tell me that guys are only friends with women because they want to fuck you, or they are. That's a little unsettling. But that applies to every man except them-which I find even funnier! I guess that pretty much answers my question on that whole darting thing- obviously not ready. I need to iron out a few of those fears first.

amor5891 50F
1 post
10/23/2006 1:50 am

I can relate to your situation. I would like to just have fun rightnow which is something I don't have with my partner. My in laws has been a total rats and have added to the tension in my envirorment. The only ones I can relate to are my parents and they seem to understand the situation. It is very painful and hard to live with someone you have no connection to. I too want to move out but I lost my really good job recently and are trying to find one. I been sleeping downstairs i feel better doing it that way than being in bed with someone who doesn't give a shit about me and sides with the in laws.


10/30/2006 5:05 pm

Hi, I'm pretty much right where you two are. All I can say is just take it slow and stay in control. Do't expect any miracles. Do what feels right to YOU and don't worry about having to please everyone else. They just have to get over it if you don't act exactly as they expect.

STCMOguy4fun 38M

11/4/2006 7:54 am

Ok so she finally gets back on. Then Poof gone again... There went finally getting a chance to chat with you.

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