i n t r o v e r s e  

its_a_go 38M
132 posts
4/11/2006 5:58 pm

Last Read:
4/20/2006 12:03 am

i n t r o v e r s e

I am such a music nut. Sometimes the only way for me to understand how I feel is through a song. A song will just connect with my mood. It's not always lyrical for me, many instrumentals do just fine. Anyhow, I didn't get any sleep at all last night (taxes) and have been in a very peculiar retrospective introverted kinda mood all day. One song has been the theme for my day and I thought I would share. By one of the greatest composers of our time "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel, Bass guitar by the absolutely spectacular Tony Levin.

Climbing up on solsbury hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night

He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
I had to listen had no choice

I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart was going boom boom, boom
Son, he said, grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.

To keeping silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut

So I went from day to day
Tho’ my life was in a rut
’till I thought of what I’d say
Which connection I should cut

I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, he said, grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.
Yeah back home

When illusion spin her net
I’m never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free

Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes, but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me

Today I don’t need a replacement
I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart was going boom boom boom
Hey, I said, you can keep my things, they’ve come to take me home.

I just don't think I'll ever feel 'at home' again. It seems that its some sort of... something ... that just leaves once you've moved from your parents home. I've been out for 9 years and I can't ever recall feeling at home since. Even when I visit it feels foriegn and cold to me. Perhaps its just because I have a non-communicating relationship with them, but thats not new. I fear that once I get my condo that I will spend all my TLC (Truck Loads of Cash) on making it feel like home for me, and I will never actually attain that comfort level.

Perhaps I've just been missing an ingredient. How does independence and solidarity affect the feeling of home? I've not been in a relationship that made me feel more at home, at least not in its less verdant stages. Maybe its a lack of sheltering and nurturing. Perhaps its the loss of naivete thats blinded me to that feeling of completeness. And if you've gotten so far, pray tell, what is home and where do you sense it? For me its in the legs. They always desire to ramble on...

rm_sj365 57F
2414 posts
4/13/2006 3:22 pm

i was gonna comment on the blog previous to this one...but i put it off & now its too late ..

its_a_go replies on 4/13/2006 5:09 pm:

Fox4aKnight1 44F

4/13/2006 7:23 pm

hmmm intersting I will have to come back and read this when itsot so near bedtime for me. I am so tired....hugs hun .....


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