Sex Insurance  

imLadyBambi 59M/51F
1308 posts
6/15/2006 7:17 am

Last Read:
6/18/2006 6:52 pm

Sex Insurance

Welcome to Team Bambi Casualty and Sex Insurance, Inc...

We, as busy and sophisticated AdultFriendFinder members, just don't have the time to waste on a bad date. It is for this reason Team Bambi Casualty and Sex Insurance is expanding our line of insurance by offering "Lousy Date" Insurance.

For a nominal fee, you will be insured against:

Gross acts (people who burp, fart, and pick their nose at the table);

Ignorant people (loud boisterous folks who insist that filet minion is fish);

Bad conversation (imagine you're in bed ready to do the "dirty deed," and your partner starts talking about the engine in his pick-up);

Being stood up (we've all been there);

Cheap dates (a wonderful night out on him/her consists of 2 value meals at McDonalds);

Spinach between teeth (this sure puts an end to passionate kissing)!

Folks with body odor (especially those who try to conceal it with cheap cologne);

Poor dressers (wearing stripes and plaids; dark pants with white socks; sandals with socks);

Geeks (those who take you to a Star Trek convention on your first date);

Misrepresentation (the profile says 5-1", 110 pounds, she's 5-1" 210 pounds but still trying to fit into "Jr. Miss" size clothes);

Shrinkage (the profile photo and description says he has a massive cock. When he finally shows you, it's the size of a sewing needle! He claims it's because he's cold and that it shrunk);

Losers and Dull People (this category is too broad to define but you know them when you see them) .

In anticipation of the high demand for this type of insurance, you may also purchase a policy through dreamswyoudreamswyou, digdug41digdug41,
SmoothOneAllManSmoothOneAllMan, MOfunNOWWOWMOfunNOWWOW,


lightswitch1963lightswitch1963 .

Is there anything else we should cover in our insurance policy?

Which of you think you might want coverage?

Lady Bambi
Licensed Insurance Underwriter

rm_1sexyroo 57M/57F
333 posts
6/15/2006 9:40 am

Hmmm, well how bout insurance for not reaching the BIG O ?? Or is that considered an act of God and not coverable????

MaggiesWishes 61F

6/15/2006 10:12 am

Kewl, I'd like an appointment to discuss my unique insurance needs. AND is there discounts for multiplies???

In the meantime... call me ... TakeOut Thursday I'll be waiting

warm huggies 2ya

DamnYankee52 65M
1 post
6/15/2006 1:35 pm

For sure there should be coverage against falsifying body types. A seriously obese person does not have an "average" body.

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/15/2006 2:15 pm

Shrinkage (the profile photo and description says he has a massive cock. When he finally shows you, it's the size of a sewing needle! He claims it's because he's cold and that it shrunk); ....LMFAO....That is just SO TRUE....Rev. Ready


rm_cardsfan11 53M

6/15/2006 3:21 pm

thanks bambi for reading and commenting on my bblog you seem really nice i see what your saying about my blog i really wasnt asking or demanding sex i just post these and sometimes noone will write keep on doing what your doing thanks alot email me sometimes so we can become friends and talk AdultFriendFinder thanks again

sexyariesgirl 59F

6/15/2006 3:39 pm

Love this post! Thanks for visiting my blog and the kind comments! I've been enjoying yours and Mr. Bambi's comments on others blogs too.

Power To FOK

digdug41 50M

6/15/2006 4:40 pm

thats too funny thanks for m giving me a job as an insurance salesman

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

expatbrit49 64M

6/15/2006 4:55 pm

I hesitate to ask if it covers the guy with carrots

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

leegs55 56M

6/15/2006 5:37 pm

cover me with your (bod) insurance bambi!!!

2sweetnipples 52F
191 posts
6/15/2006 6:20 pm

This is too good to pass up! LMAO ~ I'd invest in this~ can I get directions?! Can't wait to see your next post!

elysianpleasure 49M

6/15/2006 7:46 pm

Now this sounds like insurance worth paying...

But it will have to be pretty expensive... because I don't know how you avoid but having all your policy holders collect...

And what is the form of compensation you provide to the folks you insure?

Comment 70 [post 386393]

IDsatisfaction 53M

6/15/2006 7:55 pm

LMFAO baby...that was too good!

Myhoneysrooster 69M
882 posts
6/15/2006 7:58 pm

Hi, Thanks for the laughs. Hadn't been here before but now I shall return. lol Think I'll just go read all of the postings here.

Thanks so much for the Early Birthday wishes. Really appreciate them.
Gonna spin around for my birthday. Give the ladies something to laugh at.

Happy Early birthday to you also.


rm_Ellenback 60F
966 posts
6/15/2006 9:00 pm

Oh, MZB, I definitely need a 'fire damage' policy, for all the peasants my Dragon burns...not for them, but the surrounding area!!!

I've been in security before, and I never thought that 'SHRINK' would come to A. F. F....great post!



Looking0100 55M

6/15/2006 10:49 pm


This is a little weird. But, everyone could use some insurance at some time in their life, right?

What about insurance against scammers and other fraudulent people?

I could have used something like that two months ago. Check out my post "Abandoned".

Jon C.

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
6/16/2006 1:49 am

How about insurance against my challenges? Too risky ya think?
Try this one for size:

Lets get them in bed together!!


rm_KirkVW44m 56M
688 posts
6/16/2006 2:44 am

LOL but i sold my pickup truck i swear! Hope your week has been well Lady B.

howaboutahuck 67M
489 posts
6/16/2006 5:48 am

Hi, Lady Bambi
1. I want to know if you have a training course to become one of your insurance rep's?
2. Do you have a policy that covers those people who sent you to another site to hook up on?
3. And then there are the ones that sucker you in and want you to pay, Dose you policy cover that?


P.S. Nice blog


6/16/2006 9:47 am

How bout meeting peeps that say they are drug free and bout grind there teeth to bits and can't conversate cause they are watchin the door and everyone around Gotta have insurance for them! Not funny for real! {=}

This post is da bomb though! Love ya TEAM!

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

lightswitch1963 70M/54F

6/16/2006 5:27 pm

Wow, thanks for the job. What kind of commission do we get? Hey, Saturday night at 9PM, Oklahoma time, we'll be doing the "deed" in front of the cam. Mr. L will be checking in the morning to see who wants in. The "Door" will be open from 8:45 to 8:55, sjow starts at 9PM. We'll leave the light on for you............

TrueTxGtlman 54M

6/16/2006 6:13 pm

So tell me... is "Lousy Date" Insurance anything like Life Insurance? Seems the only one that benifits isn't the one taking it out.


Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
6/17/2006 5:03 pm

This sounds great, but oh my gosh I laughed at the Star Trek convention!!! I would not mind one all that much for a first date. Think of all the fun people watching and great conversation that can be had! LMAO!


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