Requiem for a Male Chauvinist  

imLadyBambi 59M/51F
1308 posts
5/12/2006 7:15 pm

Last Read:
6/2/2006 7:55 pm

Requiem for a Male Chauvinist

Welcome to our bedroom...

Mr. Bambi here... Tonight, I have departed from the routine material that we post and opted to write an essay. It's long - read it only if you have the time.

You have your Muhammad Ali’s, your Johnny Unitis’ and your Mike Tyson’s. They were all sports legends who tried to hang on long after the sport was over for them. Their fans watched them go from virtual immortality to a slow agonizing death on the playing field or in the boxing ring. They had ability, the glory, the money and the following. What they lacked was the wisdom to hang up their jock straps before age, the changing times and fate dealt them a crushing blow to their egos.

In the sport of picking up women, there was Sly; a master in the art of enticing women into bed. He was once a legend on the mound and an ace at pitching pick-up lines in the liquor filled arena. As a newcomer to the bar scene, I remember watching in fascination as Sly threw the fast pitch at the buxom blonde, then used the change-up, the slow soft and seductive pitch, for the young brunettes. Still, in other tight situations, he would throw hanging curves and watch as the ladies swung in desperation as they tried to score a night in bed with him.

His abilities were not limited to pitching lines. Quite the contrary, he could field a hit, steal home, and drive in a score with equal ease and ability. But that was back then, when Sly was in his prime. Last season when the rules of the game favored the fast talking, smooth moving, hard ball type, Sly was in his best pitching form ever.

This season, Sly reminded me of an Iraqi fighter pilot. He was out gunned, out maneuvered, and less adept at the game than his competition. I was saddened as I watched Sly fumble lines, throw incomplete passes, get penalized with a slap in the face for an illegal procedure, and finally bet benched on the bar stool for the remainder of the outing. Sly, just like the rest of the has been sports legends, should have hung up his jock strap before he embarrassed himself. But, just like so many others, Sly wanted to stay in the game and give it one more try. One night he got his opportunity when the game went into extra innings at an after hours bar.

As he approached the mound, Sly realized that all he had to do was throw three strikes. He wound up and got ready to throw a slider. Instead of throwing a strike, Sly was called for a balk. Sly watched in disgust as the blonde walked away from home plate. The next pitch Sly tried to force. He wanted to keep it high and inside. The pitch was too close. It was hard to determine whether the pitch actually hit the brunette or whether it simply struck one of her buttons. In any event, the brunette, just like the blonde, walked towards the first baseman. She headed towards the first baseman because he was known as a caring, sensitive man who respected his fellow players. The first baseman welcomed her to his base. Obviously, she accepted his kind invitation.

It was Sly’s last chance, he was facing the redhead. Sly, figuring he was facing just another dumb bimbo, tried a slow breaking pitch low and down the middle. His pitch was hit. It sailed high above Sly’s head and was fielded by a young superstar ‒ the one who did not underestimate a player’s ability based on gender. Finally, it was time for Sly to face reality. Sly, who is a “has been dinosaur” from the days of chauvinism and condescending attitudes towards women, was pulled from the game and sent to the cold showers.

It was the humiliation of the situation that forced Sly to realize for the first time that all he had left were his memories, fantasies, and if he is lucky, commercial endorsements for 1-900 numbers, Ben-Gay, and jock itch cream. Thus ends the career of a once great man. At his peak, he was surrounded by fans, well wishers, admirers, and women with low self-esteem. Tonight, his last night acting as a pick-up artist, he leaves the liquor filled area alone and forgotten.

"Mr. Bambi"

(C) Charles G. Patrick 2005. All rights reserved.

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
5/12/2006 10:47 pm

Wow! Very powerful stuff.


waerlookin4fun 51M/47F

5/15/2006 1:58 pm

really enjoyed reading that thanks

Become a member to create a blog