unwrapping the package  

ideafilter 38M
45 posts
7/31/2006 1:04 am

Last Read:
9/9/2006 12:40 am

unwrapping the package

I've gotta be honest. I'm new to this. Too new. In the mail yesterday I received my first webcam (the Logitech QuickCam Pro 5000, which I now recommend), and thus - really - began my existence on FriendFinder. It took me a few minutes to get everything out of the package and plugged in, but once I launched FriendFinder this beautiful woman, as if by magic, messages me. We start talking and two hours later we're both excited to meet the next day and see where things go.

The fact that she is not only beautiful but smart, witty, confident, and communicative only proves to me what great potential a site like this offers. And yet I'm terribly apprehensive. I am absolutely turned on by her boldness, but anxious too. How safe is she? I don't know her history, can I trust her to have been tested, to have practiced safe sex? She must be this bold and outgoing with other men too. At one point, mentioning bringing condoms she says 'don't worry, I'm on the pill.' Well that's great for avoiding pregnancy (and not perfect), but certainly unsafe in terms of disease.

My personal philosophy, which is quickly coming to a head, has been to be careful who you're with and then be as wild and adventurous as all hell with her. But I'm also a sexual creature, and being recently out of a long committed relationship I'm more than eager to start exploring my sexuality with more women, but...

What is the right balance of risk and discretion? I don't want to offend anyone by assuming them untrustworthy or unclean, in fact the real problem is that I am so trusting. I always assume everyone to be honest until I learn otherwise, which has certainly got me into trouble at different points in my life. But I've certainly been scared senseless by a few health classes too. It's so easy to chase the visceral dream.

Can any other FriendFinder users from the void offer some advice from experience? What are your thoughts? How do you breach the topic without squelching the passion of the moment? Is there something element of risk inherent to passion? Is it part of this drug?

Aside from these wanderings, the story continued. I drove to Starbucks today to meet her, maybe a trip to the beach afterwards and who knows where from there. But she wasn't there. I waited for an hour. I don't know whether I was stood up or whether she, sitting in a different starbucks some place near was convinced she was being stood up herself. I hope the latter is not the case. I'd rather be stood up than to have her think that I failed to show and left her waiting. No, chivalry is not dead.

I didn't have altogether much invested in meeting her today, and yet... I wanted to meet her. It was, in the end, a meaningful conversation. We connected. It was more than lust. Should it always be?

If by chance you're reading this: I apologize, and hope it was I that was stood up.

redhot4cock 58F

7/31/2006 2:43 am

Hmmmm...I've heard many stories of men being stood up. I don't understand myself, if I say that I am going to be somewhere, I am there and on time. It's a matter of respect.
I do know however, that anyone can be anything they want to be on the internet and sometimes the reality can be very disappointing. I've wanted to card some men who were supposedly 'my age' or ask if they had an AARP card, I swear they looked and acted 15 years older. It's amazing how good a 10-15 year old picture can make someone look.
It's my personal belief that those who haven't been perfectly honest in how they represent themselves are less opt to actually show up for a meeting. You must also realize that there are safety factors for a woman meeting someone off of the internet, even at a public place, so fear may also be involved.
As far as sex goes, I never promise sex to anyone that I haven't met, no matter how good the pic and chemistry seem to be on line or even on the phone. If things do progress that far than condoms are "a must". If the applying of a condom breaks "the mood" than the mood must not have been very strong in the first place. I will not participate in a fluid exchange until I know and trust where that person has been and where they will be going. One must use wisdom when such serious health risks are at stake.
Good luck and be smart!


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
7/31/2006 8:04 am

Welcome to the blogs! If you read through the blogs....there are alot of stories of men and women being stood up. I think that sometimes, people can be brave and bold on the computer....but in real life may be very shy. I hope you'll stop by my blog sometime and say hello!

ideafilter 38M

7/31/2006 2:10 pm

My first post has actually been read! Thanks for commenting angel and redhot. You both make great points. I agree, redhot, that if the mood is broken so easily there wasn't much to break. It's a sound perspective to take. And you're both right that it's much easier and safer to be bold on the net than in person.

Thanks again for the advice. It's great to have readers - I'll stop by your blogs!

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