Article #1  

iFraggle2 39M
63 posts
1/20/2006 1:31 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Article #1

I write this not only for the people who have lived all their lives with a permanent disability but also for the people who are in a relationship with a disability or someone who is facing a drastic physical change which will effect their entire livelihood. It seems that in our society many topics of a sexual nature are becoming more and more mainstream an acceptable in a conversational setting. A topic that still seems to be an uncomfortable show stopper for most people is the sexual activity of the physically disabled. Yes, the physically disabled have sex, and yes having sex with a disabled person may be drastically different than sex with a ‘normal’ person. Here are a few things to think about and remember if you are in a sexual relationship where a physical handicap is present.

1. Conversation: no matter if you’re male or female do not be afraid to talk to your partner about sex. If your partner is physically challenged ask him or what they are comfortable with or what they are willing to try. If you are the one who is challenged explain to your partner what may or may not work, and what is uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other before, during, and after; questions like “Is this ok?”, “Am I doing this right?”, and “Maybe we should try something different?” are all acceptable and logical things to ask. Don’t be afraid to bring toys or other things like food or ice into the intimacy. Be open to discuss sex with others; Swinger Groups or Alternate Lifestyle Communities seem to be very open-minded to discuss things, and also teach things. Bringing another person, couple, or group into your sex-play should be an option and can be very rewarding.

2. Experiment: Try different positions; if something doesn’t seem to be working change positions. Not all positions will be possible; for example someone wearing leg braces or has back problems may not be able to do things standing up, or may need to lean of something to do this. If a woman wants to be on her knees sucking a man who has trouble standing she needs to make sure his balance is ok. Another main thing is don’t focus on sexual intercourse. Most people think that without intercourse there is no sex but that is wrong. For example someone who may be partially paralyzed may have trouble getting an erection or keeping an erection. Focus on the touching and the kissing of body parts. Even though your partner may not be able to physically feel it they still can feel your warmness emotionally. Again; don’t be afraid to bring toys or other people into the mix. Role-play and costumes are another interesting area of sexuality that can be very rewarding. Don’t think of the bedroom as the only place where two can have sex. Even though I am not that experienced I’m open to having sex in many different places; hot tub, living room, kitchen, bathtub, etc…

3. Take your time: I know from listening and reading discussions by some men that mainly they just want to get to the “screwing”. If this is the case I guess my views on sex differs great from most men. Personally, I don’t rush to the removing of clothing; I like to kiss, touch, caress, mainly just each other. I enjoy taking the time to explore each other bodies; not only is this physically gratifying but usually has an emotional impact as well. As you remove an article of clothing; kiss and caress the exposed skin. Touching may not sound important to some people, but for most people it is a very important part of intimacy. It is the subject of touching and physical disabilities that a more in-depth explanation is needed. Many different forms of physical imperfections bring with them lack of feeling in some areas of the body; for example, I have Cerebral Palsy and Scoliosis of the Spine which can cause a loss of “normal” blood flow below my knees; this can affect the physical feeling in my feet and legs. Even though I have limited feeling in my feet a touch by another has the ability to send shivers up my spine. This is a great example of how the physical sensations and the emotional reactions can meld to create a sensational feeling of pleasure. Another aspect of sex that should not be rushed is oral. Now being a man I’m only going to discuss “eating pussy” but if a woman out there would like to add to this article in any way please feel free to contact me. I have some physical limitations but oral is something I can do without any limitations, so I take pride in taking my time and making sure the woman enjoys the experience. Never just dive right in, slowly work up the thighs or down from the tummy.

Anyway, there is way much more than can be covered on this topic, but I believe this being my first article I should stop here and wait to receive some feedback. Cuddles to all and enjoy exploring your naughtiness.

snowbunnie1966 51F
2 posts
2/25/2006 12:22 am

Very well written and i agree. Sexis not all about intercourse, it is about the touch as well. For myself, intimacy can be just laying in each others arms enjoying the feel of each others bodies.

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