need some advice  

hotwitch2 42T
918 posts
3/9/2006 8:36 am

Last Read:
3/18/2006 9:35 pm

need some advice

>hi there, i need your advice please. as you have already guessed i am pretty free spirited and indepentent. i have my own promotion company and employ four other people. here is my promlem. i have done so well in my field in such a short time that a promotions Co. in st. louis wants to hire me. i'll have to move out there and cordinate dozens of promoters across the U.S.. i'll get tons of benefits, and $15,000 more then i made last year. great! on the down side.they will want me to take a medical exam. when tey find out i'm a hermaphrodite they'll find some legal excuse to let me go. can't have someone like her working for us. then ther are 3 people who depend on me will lose their jobs. 1 will lose a good client. i can't just think of myself on this. and the way my business is growing i could be making more ten they offer by next year or the year after and still be my own boss. please give me an outside view. thanx------------------------------------------------

good sex is good sex. it doesn't matter where it comes from.[/COLOR

slowhand799 50M
3 posts
3/15/2006 9:16 am

You sound like you are very happy with the way things are right now. Legally, they can't get rid of you for the reasons that you think. They really should not even find out the results of your physical unless drugs or pre-existing condition (long-term illness, making you uninsurable).

You may feel unsatisfied and even second guess yourself if you are not 100% sure about the move. If you feel that your life is great right now and you look forward to running your OWN business every day, then the answer is obvious. But I think you already knew that and you are looking for validation.

Good luck with your decision.

SolarPowered0 112M
8031 posts
3/15/2006 7:59 am

You have a growing company. You employ four other people. Chances are you're going to continue to grow and within the next year or two you expect to be close to or even above the offered salary anyway. And you need an outside viewpoint?

Why? What "benefits" are at the other company which (or who) are more important than what (or who) you already have? I don't think you need outside views, so much as someone else to take some heat from you if anything goes wrong with "your" decision.

This is the nature of owning (or merely running) a business. You have to make the choices and you can't fall back on someone else to be responsible. Only you can be responsible. What do "YOU" think should be done???

Besides all this, you haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the facts involved needed here to offer an informed opinion. How can you expect input of any value without us being more informed? That's certainly inviting disaster - that's my opinion.


letsmeetonline 60M
34 posts
3/13/2006 7:58 pm

Stay put you have the best and money is not everything. Happy, freedom thats where its at! I wish I had all the things you do I do have some!

rm_coathanger1 49M
859 posts
3/13/2006 5:19 pm

You have to remember this. As the owner of a company you set the pace. If you work for someone else they set it for you.

I don't know anything about your industry so I would have no idea what is expected of employees there.

You do have to be concerned about yourself to. Some might try to use the ignorance about your gender against you.

Best wishes to ya.

niceguy20402 57M

3/13/2006 12:15 pm

Dear Hotwitch2,

I don't think you have anything to worry about . I was reading that in order to become a 'Playboy Bunny" at a Playboy Restaurant the women used to have to endure a pelvic examination. Then the women sued and that was the end of this type of Medical Exam. These days most Medical Exams for a position consist of a Blood Pressure reading,Heart Rate Analysis and a sometimes a urine sample which you can usuallly bring from home.Because of fears of Litigation Medical Exams these days have to be "Non Invasive". I hope my advice has helped .

Best wishes,


Erik4uroraldlite 52M

3/13/2006 9:46 am

I think you would be better off long term . By remaining your own boss . Besides that . Who wants an employer that is that judgemental . Who and what you are . Have no bearing on your job performance . And based on your success to this point . You have barely scratched the surface of your own business . And you are in a growth mode . So why not see how successful you can become on your own .

rm_xrayguy1965 53M

3/12/2006 1:07 pm

I to have my own business and even though sometimes the worries that come withit are hectic the rewards make it allthe more worth the worries,besides you have been doing well and I'm sure in no time you'll have that 15k and then some. Keep the faith!

pandoo5 61M
398 posts
3/11/2006 9:15 am

I am self employed, Business means money when we start a business we want it esteblished which takes time so leaving it for 15K doesn't make sense to me specially when you are doing good. Thats my outlook. Oh your answer was good and thanks for visiting me on my question.

ronniexoxoxo 51M

3/11/2006 8:19 am

I agree with the majority to stay where your at. I too am in a situation where I may be my own boss and work out of my home. I hated working for 8 years for corps. that took most of the profits. They really made money off of me, bigtime. It must be cool being a hermaphrodite. Seems like your sex life would never be boring. Good luck with your decision.

oglinda26 38F

3/11/2006 7:42 am

You have your own company.
You are the boss.
Why will you change that?

hotwitch2 42T
128 posts
3/9/2006 7:42 pm

thanx for the advice from all of you. it really helps

good sex is good sex. it doesn't matter where it comes from.[/COLOR

muttlygarfield 44M
22 posts
3/9/2006 2:09 pm

Hey girl, go with your passion. Remember the thing about money is that your expenses expand to obsorb the extra.

You are free and have a great deal of control with your own company, i presume its going ok, and the only real reason the other company want you is to kill one of their compeditors, as you maybe becomeing a threat.

As to the discovery through the medical exam..Aren't there any state or Federal laws regarding discrimination on that sort of thing. Also, perhaps an underlying issue is that once this company knows, they can leak it thus distroying the possibility of you being independently successful.

Oh, as I am off line on the profile part of this thing at present. And check out my latest storys, I keep adding them..latest one is "Red wrapped valentines Gifts"..

DrkWarlord 107M

3/9/2006 12:13 pm

The reasons for and against in your own post seem to make it pretty obvious that you should stay where you are at. Why would you consider leaving to only make $15k more for just one year?(if in fact you are going to make a lot more on your own next yr and get to be your own boss)

rm_woody4u695 57M

3/9/2006 11:28 am

Hi darlin, you might want to consider seeking some legal counsel of your own to help make your decision. I would expect that your new employer is only interested in the fact that you are drug free and have no physical ailments that would prevent you from performing your job. There may be no reason for them to ever know of your situation. I own my own business and have physicals done on all of my new hires, but I can't honestly say that I would ever know if a new employee had your situation or not.
Any way you choose I wish you the best of luck with it. I also wish we were'nt so far apart as I would love an opportunity to explore that glorious body of yours.
See you in my dreams Woody

ArealUnicorn 45F

3/9/2006 11:02 am

Wow that is quite a dilema, not sure why they need a medical exam unless it's for insurance which case I cant see why they would need more than blood, blood pressure etc...first things first find out what is involved in the medical...I know when I joined the military that wasn't a part of it...I also understand where the others could come into play but if it were me and to be quite frank, sometimes you have to worry about yourself first, would I take the job...chances are no I wouldn't especially if you enjoy what you are doing now...there is nothing like being your own boss...for me what I try to do is write out a list yes the ever popular pro's and con's...trying to be as objective as possible of course...but in the end as I said before you really do need to consider yourself first on this one...sounds selfish I know, but if you dont' take care of yourself who will...good luck with this and I hope I've helped...make sure tho to find out what they require for a medical first and foremost...

whymustuknow 52F

3/9/2006 10:59 am

If you are happy with the way things are now and you know that you will be even more successful, then stay where you're at. If you truly want the challenge of the new position, then take the risk. Even with a medical exam, (unless they are doing a GYN exam!) I don't think they will find out anything. Legally, if they found out, they can't do anything, but, if they wanted to get rid of you, they would find a way. I also just want to say that I think it's sweet of you to consider your people and the clients. Good luck in your decision. ....Kim

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