A Gay Gerbil  

hotpeppers58 59M
40 posts
8/31/2006 9:09 am

Last Read:
9/10/2006 7:59 pm

A Gay Gerbil

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil." Vito Bustone told bemused doctors in the
severe burns unit of Salt Lake City hospital.

Bustone, and his homosexual partner Kikki Rodriguez, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone
seriously wrong. "I pushed the cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped
Faggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kikki shouted
"Armageddon," my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Faggot
but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a
match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press
conference, a hospital spokesman described what had happened next. "The
flame ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot up the tube
igniting Mr. Bustone's moustache and severely burning his face. It also
set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which, in turn, ignited a
larger pocket of gas further up the intestine proppeling the rodent out
like a cannonball."

Bustone suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the
impact of the gerbil, while Rodriguez suffered first and second degree
burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sheriff Hugo Root later
told reporters: "It's Faggot I feel sorry for. Being stuffed up some
queers tradesman's entrance."

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