Sex and Friendships  

rm_hotfor2m 59F
43 posts
7/24/2005 7:07 am

Last Read:
12/5/2013 12:05 pm

Sex and Friendships

Do they go together? Do they really? Can mutual sex destroy friendship? I think it can. That is, if there is true friendship in the first place.

I'll be writing more here in a few days.

Di47Him51 65M/61F
42 posts
7/24/2005 8:59 am

Yes they do providing communication is open and honest about the expectations. Communication is imperative so friends and/or partners have a real understanding of exactly what you are looking for with regard to friendship as well as sex and how that may or may not change the relationship. Friends with benefits can work. Is there anything more vulnerable than sex. Lets face it, sex is not going to be great with everyone. Although there are those out there that would beg to differ. To some even bad sex is good sex. Desperation. If the sex is not good you do not need to partake in that fruit again, but you also do not need to stop the friendship. The lines need to be drawn - and if you cross that line you need to protect you heart, and realize the repurcussions. Differant people view sex differantly. Know what you are going into, and remember (contrary to popular belief) that people are not disposable. Best to you. Di

triag916 52M

7/24/2005 11:20 am

HI, I've had sex with my friends. Some friendships remained others failed. The ones that are still intact are due to our ability to seperate the two, not get emotionally attached, but just sex, two ppl emjoying nakedness.

rm_nvbuck 50M
18 posts
8/2/2005 1:26 pm

My ex and I had the most passionate, and incredible sex either of have ever had. We started as friends, then circumstances brought us together. She was seperated from her husband at the time and still not sure which way she wanted to go in that relationship, she just didn't let me know about that. Needless to say some trust issues arose. It was never me not trusting her, it was her feeling guilty about the hurt she could cause me.

After we had been living together as a family (she had two children) for about six months, I thought I had found the one. We didn't fight, we had mind blowing sex, and I had bonded with her children, she turned into a complete psycho. She started going off about how I manipulated her, forced her to be dependent on me, and somehow made everything that I thought was good in our relationship into something evil. She had started talking to her hubby again, and wanted to give him another chance for the kids. Our fights, her tantrems, were just as passonate as our lovemaking, and I was afraid to do or say anything because no matter how good my intentions might have been she would find an evil ulteriar motive to attatch to them.

Finally I had enough, packed her and the kids up with all her stuff that I had been paying storage on for over a year and moved them all out of state to her fathers house. Those four days of moving could have been done in two if we weren't so busy tearing eachothers clothes off whenever we thought no one was looking. I still get chills when I think of all the emotions the emotions that came out in our lovemaking in those few days. Then it was over, her husband was moving into her fathers house with her and I needed to be gone before he got there.

Two months went by and then I recieved a package in the mail and a telephone call within moments of eachother. She told me to look over the package and call her back. Inside the package was more or less a diary written on scrap paper from wherever she was at the time going all the way back to the day she met me. She wanted me to have it to show me what a great person I really was, and was afraid her husband would find it. The anger came raging back into me, but so did forgiveness and understanding.

Now 7 years, I am married with two boys of my own, and we are very good friends that talk on a regular basis. She is single now, calls me her greatest mistake, but we will never cross the line, or put ourselves in a situation that we might. Like recovering addict, we'll always have that temptation, but also understand that the high isn't worth the hurt we're capable of inflicting on our world if we fall.

I guess it all depends what was there in the beginning. A friendship might struggle through the changes, but in the end it will still be there. If it wasn't there in the beginning and all you have is a fuck buddy, then you can count on one thing. You are the place to go when they can't find anything better. Is that friendship?

rm_anacortes 76M
2850 posts
8/5/2005 6:41 pm

I am going to be in NV soon... would you like to discuss?

Glad you looked at my blog.. did you just start your blog?

Namase... Frederick


8/6/2005 9:29 am

If the friendship is strong enough it can weather anything. I've had sex with alot of my friend and we still all remain friends. Denny

1 post
8/29/2005 5:51 pm

I have never had a problem with it and you shouldn't either as long as you are comfortable thats what counts have wild and crazy sex

2 posts
9/1/2005 4:19 pm

It depends on the maturity of both male and female. It has worked for me just fine.

rm_sparksfunguy 54M

10/3/2005 10:11 am

I agree. It depends on maturity. The ability to be open and honest and keep things in perspective is key

rm_drysailor69 41M
1 post
10/12/2005 11:48 pm

you can have both it depends on the peaple i can go south really quick

rm_renobiker69 64M
1 post
11/22/2005 4:34 pm

yes you can be friands after sex but it takes the right person do do that , sometimes it work and some not ,,, would like to chat with you ?? look me up ok ,,thanks ..

steve_vme 60M  
17 posts
11/25/2005 5:33 pm

Some men are just so needy and can not seperate love from sex. Love is a way of bonding to each other and sex is part of it. It is very important to talk for awhile before sex. Some have to hear it a thousand times to finnaly get it and some never do.


steve_vme 60M  
17 posts
11/25/2005 5:35 pm

and women


1 post
1/6/2006 7:29 pm

I think being friends only makes the sex that much more intense; because you are friends and trust each other. If it is a friendship to begin with -- it will only improve!

rm_hotfor2m 59F
10 posts
1/15/2006 1:59 pm

i do believe that it can happen sometimes .. it does depend on the maturity & understanding of the people involved .. not all will become & remain friends after .. oh well, their loss, i guess .. my friends understand that i have a life seperate from this site, which includes the issues i have to deal with on a daily basis .. things like family needs, work, living conditions, bills, etc. .. i'm human just like everyone else, facing the same daily trials as others do .. i wish more of my sexual contacts would please understand this & not pressure me or accuse me of losing interest .. that's a big turn off for me .. well, til next time .. have a great day!

rm_hotfor2m 59F
10 posts
1/15/2006 2:01 pm

thanks to all for your posts, words of advice & comments on my blog.

rm_lee492006 61M

1/19/2006 5:23 pm

since when does sex have anything to do with love or friendship? you don't need sex to love someone and visa versa.....


2/14/2006 8:31 am

If there is friendship before sex it can sometimes be a mistake to have sex, I think it depends on open communication about both the friendship as well as the sex. It does also depend on the maturity of those involved.

1 post
2/20/2006 8:35 am

i agree with you hot if 2 people have great sex and the chemistry is there, why cant their be a friendship. when 2 peoples schedule meshes and yoiur both horny why cant you get together and fuck your brains out and then go back to your normal life sounds like you are doing it just right hot best of luck to you, i would like to meet you, you sound like a really cool lady with all the right perspectives of what this sex thing is all about

renomale4play 60M

3/8/2006 12:09 am

I've had sex with women who were friends and remained so after the sex. I've had sex with women I didn't know and we became good friends even though the sex stopped. But then again, I've had sex with a friend and it ruined our friendship, so I guess it really depends on the people involved. Were you really good friends before? If so, I think the friendship will hold and if you thought you were really good friends but really weren't, then I think the relationship will end both as a friend and sexually.

1 post
3/11/2006 1:08 pm

I totally and completely will depend on the people to begin with. As with anything, communication and understanding is the key.
One may want it, even dream of sex with the other but the other may only and will only think of the other as a friend and it you want to keep your friend you must honor it.


3/13/2006 3:34 pm

Looks like everybody agrees on the same point of view. It depends on the maturaty of the people involved. The best sex I ever had was with friends. One-night-stands are for the birds.

BirdV 69M

3/31/2006 8:32 am



bigjohnny7in 53M

4/24/2006 11:00 pm

What a can of worms you have opened up here, Friends and sex? sex and friends? I can only give my view, but I believe that friends can enjoy each other physically, sexually, and emotionally. I have had ralations with nearly every female friend (not Girl friends) that I have had. Now that number is great because I am a hard man to get near to, but all the relationships almost always end up involving sex. Some where one time things, a little expirementation, a quick afternoon of fun, and never repeated, and other where ongoing relationships that never blossomed into that final phase the LTR. For whatever reason it does happens, it happens and as long as both souls involved are satisfied it is a good thing.

2 posts
5/12/2006 5:29 pm

It's funny that there is only two women in this blog. I am not sure about friends and sex..... Sex changes everything in everybady no matter what they say......

Onn696942 75M

5/16/2006 9:10 am

All I can comment about is my own experience. I have had several sexmates over the years who had been friends first. In two notable cases, they are still friends of mine. In one of those cases, the sex ended long ago; in the other it is ongoing. In the ongoing case, we simply separate the sexual relationship from the freinds relationaship---but we do not make sex and friendship exclusive from each other; we are BOTH. It works just fine. There were a few other people who sort of drifted away, but I do not think that had anything to do with sex. Quite a few people have drifted away, while new ones have been acquired; that's the way of things. So my conclusion is that friendship and sex are not mutually exclusive, or at least, they do not have to be as long as the people involved don't have mental constructs which make the two universes mutually exclusive.

CuddlyHotRodder 65M
9 posts
7/2/2006 2:50 pm

I've had sex with friends. Seems like after the sex, they either want it to be more than just friendship, and are embarrassed when I say it can't be more, even though we talked about it first. I was very sorry to lose the friendship of one such lady. We were friends for years, and after we had sex, and she knew it wasn't going to be more, she said if she couldn't have me fulltime, she couldn't be around me. She even quit her job and move on because of it. I felt really bad about it and I still miss her friendship.

SingleWarrior 53M

7/9/2006 12:48 pm

I had a (now former, since I moved) co-worker good friend who one day approached me about the "friends with benefits" thing. I tried it out, it was good.

But another friend of hers wanted more in their relationship, and got quite jealous and caused problems.

So it's not just the two of you, it's also other friends and their reactions.


7/31/2006 2:26 pm

Sex and friendships can go together under the right circumstances. If you truly care in your heart about someone, then it can not be done. It will destroy the relationship. I can speak from experience on that one. My best frind offered herself up as my "birthday present" and I turned her down. She is my best friend and I want to keep it that way. She seemed to think we could do this and have no problem. I thought otherwise. She still gives me grief about it, but we are still best friends.

Open and honest communication is a must. You have to both know what is expected and what you are both looking for. The minute one of you crosses the line, then the relationship has gone too far.

Just my point of view.

Love, Light, Laughter, Leave a Legacy,


28 posts
12/9/2006 12:00 pm

What the F**k why is it that sex and friend ship can't be a 1 on 1 ??
Personaly i don't like to wake up the next day and not know the name of the person that i was with (was it a Jill or Grace or Pam)
So if one night stands is it cause i've had a few is the answer to sex and friends then count me out!!!!
Just a friend KC

rm_scrumegud 52M
1 post
12/9/2006 12:28 pm

I don't know about you, but I have had sex with my best friend. It was terrific! I don't know if that would have spoiled anything or not, she had a terminal illness, and we both really needed that at the moment.If she had lived, I imagine we probebly have married and had a good life together, but i will never know... she died twelve years ago. I don't regret having sex with her, my only regret is that we didn't have more time together. I am now finally starting to get into a relationship with another woman,but I am scared that if I lose her as well, I will not be able to handle it. So there are risks in everything that you do, the best that you can do is to live each day to the fullest, and to spend as much time with those that you are close to as you can, because the worst regrets are not being with someone you love or care about as much as you could have been because there was something "important" going on. I will always carry the scars of losing her, but hopefully that will make me a better human being in any future relationships.

redduracell 47M
507 posts
1/5/2007 7:41 pm

From my experience with my mature friend I can say that you can be both friends and lovers. We have continued being friends after becoming lovers and we enjoyed both the same [whenever we can - there is a 4hour flight seperating us]. We are continuing our lives but we are still friends.

fishen602 64M
18 posts
1/11/2007 9:38 am

i think it can work if both of you want it that way and understand it from the start

chochtown2 42M/45F

1/29/2007 4:50 pm

I agree,It can fuck some relationships up but sometimes it works some people cant help but le their feelings get tangled up. you meet some one cool, hot and you want to slay them in bed, turns out they're wacked out of their head, but great in bed, better off just fuck buddies, but sometimes it just works for both parties. depends how much you value the relationship. Best friend, probably npt a good idea. best girlfriend of a girlfriend/boyfriend what have you, WHY NOT?

18 posts
2/13/2007 9:03 pm

Yes, certainly, there can be friendship after sex. Of course, however, it took two to have sex it also takes two to be friends.

One of the factors that splits folks up after sex, in my opinion, is when one individual wants the relationship to go to the next level and the other doesn't. When this occures, I believe, it takes a "live and let live" kind of person to be the one that wanted the relationship to go further in order for a friendship to be possible after sex. When you have a person that has difficulty letting go, then I think the friendship is doomed.

So ... all in all ... it really depends on the two people involved, but certainly possible; speaking from experience.

Hedonistic0ne 55M
2 posts
7/5/2007 9:03 pm

I think sex and friendships can go well together as long as there is a mutual respect for each other and the lines of communication are kept open. I have met some really great people since I entered this lifestyle about a year ago. In fact I wish I had taken the plunge years ago. The biggest obstacle that I've seen that gets in the way is jealousy. The big green eyed monster. I've witnessed it second hand destroy a friendship and first hand nearly destroy and cause irreparable damage to another friendship. If we are to succeed in this lifestyle, there is no room for jealousy. Some of my best friendships have begun from people I've met in the lifestyle and though I care very much for them, I understand that they are in the lifestyle for a reason as am I and rather than let the green eyed monster raise its ugly head, I support and respect their decisions and they support and respect mine. I believe that if we can't support, respect and communicate without the jealousy, then we shouldn't be in this lifestyle. It is not for everyone, but for those of us that have the ability to make it work, it is truly and awesome and wonderful experience. My advise for everyone is to just be totally honest first with yourself and then with your partner and friends with who you are and what you want and expect. BE A TRUE FRIEND.

2Bad_and_Sexy 41M

12/10/2007 2:41 am

I had a friend with whom I shared everything, until the day when we turned the corner and we made love. It was really intense and very hot. We had a relationship cahcée for 2 years, it was passionelle .. and then her husband has discovered and things have deteriorated. Aujroud'hui is different and we no longer envy of one another ...

ps : sorry for my bad english

yngstud4lady 30M  
54 posts
1/8/2008 2:37 pm

it really depends on the person, it could make your relationship strenuous or bring you closer

renosilverblade 59M
6 posts
1/15/2008 2:59 pm

I think it is fine depending on how you define it.

rm_trekal 56M
1 post
1/20/2008 10:59 pm

Sex and Friendship,
I wouldnt have it anyother way! If you dont know the person then why are you having sex? I still have friendships with people Ive only had sex once with. Sex with them wasnt that great for me, but why keep them from having sex and encouraging them on what turns people on and off.

roshini74 44F

10/25/2008 2:59 am


rm_hotfor2m 59F
10 posts
11/10/2008 12:27 am

Thank you all for your feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to read & respond to my blog. I am enjoying this wonderful lifestyle of having sexual encounters with friends without that awful jealousy. My bf & I share our lifestyle experiences & encourage each other to enjoy sex with others as well. Again, thanks for all your responses

RangeBull70 47M
641 posts
8/21/2013 3:14 pm

If this is still an active blog ... please let me know. I will be in Reno on business August 26th & 27th, 2013. I would love the opportunity to connect and enjoy each other's company.

Feel free to drop me a note back and let's see what comes up ...

Range Bull

From the Gold Country of Northern California's Sierra Nevada Mountains,

Range Bull

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