so what happened?....  

hornyhornysandy 42F
67 posts
2/17/2006 9:28 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

so what happened?....


I was just on msn with a friend. We were chatting about work and he asked if I was feeling alright cos he was feeling a little low with the people around him having little enthusiasm. I mentioned that I am okay and would rather be at work than be home, rather slog until late into the night than to come home to face emptiness.

I speak to many, and I found out that most marriages have problems, it could be a new marriage, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, it really doesn;t quite matter... there were problems, there is problems and there will always be... just when you think that the worse is over, there'll be a new set.

I recently noticed that my partner seemed a little distracted and I asked if he wanted to talk about it. "When I feel like it, but not now.." but I could sense that he has tons of questions to confront me with... but just not now... of cos, being me, I did not pursue any further... I have my reasons for not doing so...

We took a trip over valentine's and we enjoyed just about every minute of it... the strangest part is we behaved as if we are still courting.. and I thought to myself.. maybe this will work.. short trips like this might just revive what we have...

Alas!... just 30 seconds after we cleared immigration, we had a minor squabble... over something.. I just can't recall now... and throughout the trip home, it was total silence... I so much wanted to be lovey dovey, touchy feely.. just as we were during the trip... but the look in his eyes said otherwise...

I wonder... what was it or is it exactly that has gone wrong?... till now, I have no answer...
you may blame it on my waywardness.. for even being here.. blogging... but in my defense, it started way back... sure i am not helping the situation... but what else can I do?...

so really... I am curious... tell me... what can a wife do to make the flames revive?... I don't seem to have a good solution... and I am running out of new ones... and I am feeling drained and tired... and on the verge of letting go....

mr_simply_me 46M
842 posts
2/18/2006 6:50 pm

Hmmm...

Not sure if it appears to be like me... lol....

To share... There is something really bothering him! When you are back, there must be an object or something that he is giving him some discomfort! If you can trace, try to find out what is it? Try to see if the scenario is the same when he gets edgy....

There is a possibility that a trigger over a small matter can happen when he has a slight thought of the issue that he is bothered with.

I am guilty at times! There are times when we want to make the situation happy but somehow some old small thorny issues just come up! Then from happy to unhappeniess!

Example hor... at times, my wife don't know where things are placed cosz I am the one packing the house! So when we want to rush out of the house, she don't know where to get the things as she is not the kind who tidies the place (eventhough she has lots of time @ home)..... So of course I will get upset lor.... If she did help in the tidying... she will know where to get things....

Ok... don't feel drained! I always think is communication is the most important! Arguement with objectives! No Emotions. If you two cannot do that... then write love letters.... It is working for me.... long last.. my wife wrote me one...


mr_simply_me 46M
842 posts
2/18/2006 6:57 pm

Just wondering if it was due to your job change?? or he wants some freedom??

Control too much, together too much, want to be with him for all events or even checking on him... may not what he wants...

Do drop him some sms on how you love him... not too frequent! If he don't respond or respond with some no so nice comments.. don't worry.. he should be happy... (this part is weird lor... I like my wife to sms but I don't like her to expect that I must respond always!)


goodtry 56M
918 posts
2/20/2006 12:58 am

Sandy,

I agree with MSM, there is something he is really bothered with. He may not be telling you. If you can recall some incident and see if they were somehow related. There were definitely something that he is not happy with but just don't want to rock the boat.

Well maybe not you, maybe with the work or the environment he is working with people around him and so on. It is difficult to comment about your situation as it may not be similar to mind or MSM or others. I prefer to keep quiet when I am angry or not happy with something, I know if I open my mouth nothing good will come out so better keep quiet. There goes likewise to my wife as well. Well sometime we called each other just for a short chat on the phone, a little of concern may work.

One think for sure is that when you cools down, it may be good to discuss with each other on things that at time bother you and your partner.


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