helga_hansen 50F
3122 posts
11/28/2005 11:42 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Over the past few months I've been losing weight quite rapidly, and whilst it feels good to be able to dress in smaller clothes, and just generally feel good about yourself, I'm also very scared.

My weight was my shield. I hid behind my volumous girth. I made jokes at my own expense, because I believed that I was simply saying what I thought people were thinking. I told myself that my weight meant I was unattractive, and no man in his right mind would be interested in me. Yes, I'm married, and Mr Hansen can't keep his hands off me, but I simply believed that all husbands were supposed to behave like that.

Now, as I watch the pounds slip away on my scales, I'm panicking. What will I hide behind now? How will I deal with male attention? In the Euro Hot Tub, you'd get the impression that I was a confident, larger than life character... but that's not really me.

I'm really a scared 38 year old woman who believes her looks faded long ago, and despite the best efforts of those who have met me (when I was heavier) to convince me that they haven't, I still believe that. They use words like "sexy", "beautiful", "attractive"... but how can fat be sexy, beautiful or attractive?? My body has more stretchmarks and lines than the average road map, and orange peel doesn't even begin to describe the lumps and bumps on my thighs and backside! I struggled to feel comfortable naked when I was larger - now it's even worse!

So, as I take this journey down to a slimmer me, I wonder how I will face the future. I wonder if I'm meant to be slimmer. Couldn't I just stay the way I am? My doctor thinks not, and at the end of the day, he's right. I'm not doing myself any favours being a "big girl", but dammit... I'm scared!!!

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

freetime648 53F

11/29/2005 3:59 am

You face the future with your head held up high! And as long as the weight loss does not impair your health do not worry about it. Why Hide from anything? You are a bright, witty, beautiful proud of that and show it off!!!!

xx FREETIME648 xx

starlight_runner 40F

11/29/2005 10:17 am

if all else fails makeup and plastic surgery can fill in the gaps.

kisses star

TheQuietGuy2005 55M
2386 posts
11/29/2005 12:33 pm

Fear is normal during any personal transition. It's the normal, human response to change. Recognising it for what it is is the first step.

Other than that, I'm with Free ... I hope you'll believe from her what you would sneer at from me!

Wackytits 54F

11/29/2005 12:41 pm

Helga....(((((hugs))))) I'm there with you hun, like you I have extra padding and have lost 2 stone since February. You know I've felt good and bad about myself recently, and you know why. Be proud of who you are no matter what. Sexy and beautiful come from the inside, and I think you're both. "Hold your head up high and don't let the b******ds get you down* (Your words not mine)

brightblonde3 59F

11/29/2005 1:40 pm

You're already beautiful...and 38 is a prime age.


AlbertPrince 59M

11/30/2005 11:08 pm

Do I need to say it again?

bobbydazzler69x 48M

12/1/2005 8:24 am

Try going bald, fighting a spreading pot belly, hangovers that last all day, a little pain in my knee which I thought was arthritis (it's not, had an x-ray), a real lack of interest in women at times, and vice versa, but then your blogs cheer me up most days I check in. We're really all the same. Nobody is perfect. Don't worry, be happy.


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