Ladies and Gentlemen... please take your seats...  

helga_hansen 50F
3122 posts
6/12/2006 10:49 am

Last Read:
8/8/2007 11:30 am

Ladies and Gentlemen... please take your seats...

Yep... seems intermission is over. I know you think you knew I wouldn't last long without being back soon, for more.

In truth, I wasn't gone for the reasons I said I was gone. The dusting still needs doing, the garden still looks like a jungle, and my son is still growing like a darned weed!

The truth is... well... it's hard to tell you, because I have such mixed emotions about it myself. It still feels slightly surreal, even though I initiated it all.

The truth is... Mr Hansen and I are calling time on our marriage. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, and no, I am not leaving Mr Hansen and running away with my Bit On The Side. This moment has been a long time coming, and it is only just recently that I have had the courage to open my mouth and say what I felt. I still care deeply for Mr Hansen (he's even a member on this site, and has commented on my blog, on the odd occasion), but I've come to realise that I don't love him the way I probably should.

We share a lot of history, we have a beautiful son, and we have some great memories. We have some lousy memories too, but what's life without its little ups and downs, eh?

I don't know what the future holds for me. I'm not moving out tomorrow, and Mr Hansen isn't kicking me out either. It's all rather amicable (yes, it is possible, folks, to be sane and sensible about it all), but that doesn't mean we've not cried a few tears over the past week. I'm sure there will be many more to come, but at the moment, we're just taking one day at a time.

Mr Hansen and I have done a lot of talking this past week (some of it under the influence of alcohol, which is never a good idea!!), and I know there will be some who say that if we're talking, isn't there a chance that we could save the marriage? Perhaps... but then as Mr Hansen himself said... he will always wonder whether I had stayed because he asked me to stay, or because I wanted to stay.

As for my Bit On The Side... without him, I would not have found the strength to do this. Let me state this now... he is NOT a marriage wrecker!! He is first and foremost my friend, and I cannot thank him enough for the impartial advice he has given me over the past few weeks. I guess, having been there himself, he would know what he is talking about, but I know that he has always had my best interests at heart, and not his own. This is a man who was prepared to say goodbye to me, and still is, should the moment arise.

So yes, I will continue to see him... after all, I need all the friends I can get right now. What happens in the future? Well, that's anybody's guess, and if you can tell me, can I also have Wednesday's Lotto numbers please, 'cos this working lark is doing my head in!



Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


TabithaElectra79 39F

6/12/2006 11:12 am

we're just taking one day at a time ~ I think this is the best way forwards, be well and take care of yourself, do what you feel is right inside...

*Hugs*


UnpinAfireFaust 58M

6/12/2006 11:31 am

I hate to see anything happen to you and "my favorite photographer" , Helga...but I also hate to see people stay in situations where they really aren't happy...life is just too short. Advice at times like this is always a good thing...and I'm glad you have your BOTS to give you the good advice I know that he is.

**Sending you {{{{hugz}}}} and my best thoughts and wishes**


dutchpete 55M
563 posts
6/12/2006 12:01 pm

All wise advise from my end would hit just air.

Hope wisdom will be part of you in any decision you take.


freetime648 53F

6/12/2006 1:21 pm

And now the pact takes hold...remember I meant every word and you know each and every way to get me ok??? I love you Helga.....stay strong and this step here is one of the best steps you could have taken...I am proud of you!! xxxxx


xx FREETIME648 xx


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
6/12/2006 3:21 pm

HH-

Never an easy thing to end a chapter of any kind, nonetheless a marriage. I'm sorry that things are difficult, but as we all know- you'll be just fine.

YIM me when you get a chance, Bulge has my new screen name if you don't.

((((hugs))))

A


bulging_boy 50M

6/12/2006 3:34 pm

Helga,

*sigh*

If you can't be honest with yourself you're headed for a lifetime of misery.

A brave step, and one that you needed to take.

I'm sure it'll work out for ya.

and we're still here!


racingcrazy67 50M

6/12/2006 11:07 pm

I feel a bit stunned to read this but completely understand and respect your decision as I know it can't have been easy for you.

You are a very special lady indeed and all I wish for you and your family is happiness.

To have your "bit on the side" who is also such a good man and able to understand and even be able to walk away despite how obviously difficult that would be if the situation needed it shows an awful lot about both of you.

Best wishes and love from from your favourite dwarf.

Go well, and be happy.

Jez
xxx


CelticFlower 51F

6/16/2006 1:36 am

Helga,
it doesn`t matter why or how the split happens, its painful for all those involved. Use all the friends you have to talk things through with, i have found mine invaluable. Your BOTS is fantastic and i`m sure he will be happy to help you all he can.
Give me a shout if you need a moan or just a good blether.
Hugs and kisses,
CF
xx


barbiebunny 37F
5597 posts
6/18/2006 1:13 am

Huggs///good luck and glad u found the strength .....may you find bliss

Its good to be...ME


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
52F

6/18/2006 2:05 am

one day
one hug
one breath
at
a
time


TTFN


rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
6/21/2006 12:40 am

One step at the time hun.... and it will figure itself out...

Hugs E.


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