Trying... To Let Go  

heavensent11236 53F
2577 posts
8/12/2006 7:07 am

Last Read:
10/26/2007 8:25 am

Trying... To Let Go

I've been thinking a lot about some things recently, about some letting go things. I have the type of personality that I find it hard to let go of things, even when I know they are REALLY bad for me. Shrinks would more than likely call it an addictive personality, thats why, certain things, I know better than to even go there because I wouldn't want to deal with the consequences.

With me, it's usually a time frame kind of thing, I think that I want whatever it was I think I lost back within a certain length of time, in most cases it's usually 6 months to a year. At the end of this mind set time frame, I'm finally able to move forward, for some reason, whatever it was I thought I wanted, I don't want anymore. It just got more complicated than it was worth.

When I first moved here, I had very specific plans, certain things I wanted to do or accomplish, I think I need to get back to those, the original plan. I need to let go of the past and work on those things that have always been important to me but somehow or other got put on hold. Maybe because the original plan was actually harder than what I was ready to really deal with at the time.

toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
8/12/2006 9:30 am

letting is always very hard for me too. bad-for-me hard. yet, sometimes it just becomes necessary.
i wish you success on your new plans.

lissi888888 53F
1401 posts
8/12/2006 6:57 pm's not easy but that's adaptability and however you are able to make it work is great. We all do it within our own time frames and parameters. You are continually re-assessing and re-prioritizing...and that's so very important.

Re-prioritize is where I am right now too (in the middle of getting ready to move). I see what my life will be when I'm finally out of this place and hope I have set reasonable goals but (as with all goals) I'll know better in 6 months to a year. Good on ya!


rm_Kingcat4U2 66M
2799 posts
8/13/2006 6:44 am

It is easy to get sidetracked, isn't it? Discipline always seems to
be a major problem in my case. The fatigue factor does a good job
of getting me every time (I'm tired, I'll do it later). Do you write your goals down, or just keep a mental checklist?

gent4u813 62M

8/14/2006 1:09 pm

I think I understand what you are talking about. I think that it applies to interpersonal relationships. Sometimes I have found myself holding on to something that is no longer a positive influence on me. There have been cases where I have held on to a friend even though the friendship was kind of rocky. Six months to a year sounds about right. For me it was sort of just letting go of the grief of losing something dear to me.

Good luck on the new road that you are setting out on. The fact is, though, that all new roads connect in at least some small way to the roads we have already travelled. The trick is to prevent oneself from going in circles or getting back on an old track.

If you get weary, stop, look around, reprioritize as Lis said. Eventually the destination will come into view.


heavensent11236 53F

8/14/2006 2:47 pm

Lis- thank you very much for your kind words, I accidentally stumbled onto your blog recently and whenever I get a chance to I always look to see what you have to say. I wish you luck with your move and your future and hope all your dreams come true. Again, you have a really big heart, can only wish you the very best in life.

Kingcat- I use to write them down, actually I was better able to achieve them when I did, somehow though I got away from that. Thank you for reminding me, I will definitely have to do that again, so many things I wanted to accomplish, maybe if I looked at it every day taped to my mirror I'd work harder because it would be a constant reminder.

Gent4- Some of what I was talking about was about past friends but some also had to do with goals I set for myself that just never materialized because it was easier to just not think about it, they never at any point became less important but they did get kind of put on the back burner. BTW, very wise words about making sure you don't come full circle I will definitely keep that in the back of my mind. Maybe taped next to that Goal list I'll be hanging up on my mirror

Toothy, as always, you are too kind. Best of luck to you my cyber friend.

justreal4real 60F

8/14/2006 2:51 pm

If you have any tips to share I'd appreciate them. I've decided to let go of someone and some things myself. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Good luck in your endeavors.


heavensent11236 53F

8/15/2006 4:33 am


I understand how much your hurting right now and no, I haven't got all the answers. I can only make suggestions that will help, and as for the one day thing, no, sometimes one day is too long, sometimes you really just have to take it the one hour at a time that you wrote bout.
As for what helps me? Believe it or not, the beach, a trip to the beauty parlor, a trip to a masseuse or a day at the spa pampering myself, and keeping it in the back of my head that it wasn't really about me, there was nothing WRONG with me. Please try to remember, things happen for a reason, people come in and out of your life, some stay and some don't, take whatever it was that person taught you and apply it if you need to. The point being, be good to yourself, spoil yourself, and last case scenario, invest in a voodoo doll and stick pins in it until it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

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