MEN-Not Exactly Choosy  

heavensent1123 53F
447 posts
5/12/2006 4:06 am

Last Read:
5/29/2006 5:27 am

MEN-Not Exactly Choosy

Just thinking about men in general, and have come to the conclusion that you guys really aren't all that picky. There are a few rare exceptions but overall you don't really care to much what a female looks like, you'll have sex with her anyway.

I've heard some horror stories, about bringing a rating of 1-2 on a scale of 10 home and doing the deed. I'm not sure why you guys do this, is it really just about getting laid? Chances are you'll never see this female again, not that she maybe wouldn't want to but you got what you wanted, that temporary relief thing.

I'm wondering if you ever stop to think about how that makes her feel, to know that she was just a piece of ass. Wouldn't it be best to not even go there to begin with?

Chances are that deep down she already knows she's only a 1-2. That one time fuck doesn't exactly boost her self-esteem. I think it would just reinforce her negative view of herself.

I also have to be upfront and admit that there are some men that while normally I might be attracted to and think about dating, if I knew there were certain females they did have intimate contact with, would cause me to immediately erase them off my list of potential guys. Sorry but I couldn't get past the You Fucked Her??????? thing. EWWWWWWWWWWWW

I guess that's why I don't understand those invitations from men on this site that state they will be in town for the night and want to know if you want to meet for "whatever".

I was never the one-night stand type, not planning on being one anytime soon either.

rm_JohnMacLaine 51M
585 posts
5/12/2006 5:50 am


I have witnessed first hand the actions of a few of my friends over the years and in my mind it appears that they just dont care. You are right on several different levels that a lot of men are only looking to put another notch on their bedpost, or they just need to fill their desire to get laid. In my opinion, these guys have as low a self esteem as the women they are sleeping with. They have a hard time with commitment, they dont have the strength inside of them to handle a committed relationship built on attraction, chemistry, and compassion. In addition to this, these men also tend to treat women very badly, whether they are attractive or not.

I have a hard time respecting people like this and I would never sacrifice what I would cal my "standards" and sleep with a woman simply because she has a vagina. That is wrong, it is shallow, and I have more respect for myself and for women than that. If I am not attracted to someone by their physical beauty or their ability to stimulate my mind, I could definitely not be stimulated in bed with them, no matter what they do to me while we were in bed. There just is no attraction at all in my mind and the mind controls the penis (or so they say). I guess I am one of the few men out there looking for companionship, mental stimulation as well as someone to spend the rest of my life with. If I can no have any of that, I would just rather stay single and masturbate.


"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi

AltumHunksUnite 54M

5/12/2006 6:03 am

All men have urges. Nothing can be done about that.

Some of us just know how to control them.

Of course that means we get a lot less "action", but we have a lot more self respect, as well as respect for others.

Let me drive. I like the view

Heartnsoul768 54M  
361 posts
5/12/2006 6:59 am

Heavensent ...... I have been friends with many women, who had felt they were used by men in the past as you just mentioned. I told them to use the guy before he uses you. Women have needs too, and as long as no feelings are hurt, a good time can be had by all.

rm_MisterFrumpy 47M
428 posts
5/12/2006 7:09 am

Its true, some guys lack standards and so do a lot of women.

Really if anyone specifically goes to a bar to get hammered and drag someone home (or get dragged) you're just asking to be labeled as a goob with no standards.

You're also not alone in the "they did what with who???" thing. I've decided against pursuing some women specifically because of that and i'm sure it's their loss

Xeryien 53M
1448 posts
5/12/2006 7:57 am

I'm sorry Heaven - but you just figured that out? Men are basically 'dogs'. Sorry - but the vast majority just 'are'.

Someone, can't remember who, said a while back that men basically just run around propagating the planet, and women nurture and care for the offspring. Its genetic - we try and spread our genes (not jeans!) everywhere we go so we have more offspring than the next guy, giving our bloodline a chance to multiply.

Ahh... just remembered it was Desmond Morris - a zoologist/sociobiologist did a couple of BBC TV shows back in the mid 90s, the Human Animal and the Human Sexes. Really interesting stuff. Basically big picture stuff on why we do stuff today that makes no real sense - like monogamous relationships versus polygamy.

Also - you can throw in to the mix the basic differences between men and women. The whole "Men are from Mars" thing... We think differently that you - we want to fix things - you want to discuss and sympathize with situations...

Now, if you are still with me after all that - let me say that those are generalizations, on a case by case basis - everything changes... I personally wouldn't jump into bed with anything that moves. I've been there/ done that - and I know its not much fun. I am interested in whats' between your ears - not your legs. (Oooo - that didn't come out right! If you have dangly bits - I am not interested!)

Anyway - sorry for the rambling - but hopefully it makes some sense...


heavensent1123 53F

5/12/2006 8:06 am

HeartNsoul- I wasn't referring to anyone being used I was just referring to lack of judgement or in some cases no judgement at all.

Sure women are guilty of the same thing but not to the extent that most mem are, I guess it's because I've known a few guys that no matter how unattractive the female is they will have sex with her anyway, just because there aren't any other options at that moment.

The majority of females I've known do however have some degree of standards as to who they sleep with.
To each his own, actually I've known of some females that trains are their thing, and while I certainly don't sgree with that it's their life, just don't expect to to respect you after that.

softnlush 54F

5/12/2006 7:05 pm

you know I could have written this myself LOL..OMG..and you know I agree..which is why many have been removed from my potential list even tho they never knew they were on it..see ya tomorrow night girlie

AskerChertLigan 53M
24 posts
5/13/2006 9:51 am

I agree with you, all men and women should have standards and better judgment. keep up the good work

Good Luck on Mothers day.

heavensent1123 53F

5/13/2006 12:23 pm

you made me laugh je86, with the good luck thing. You remembered!!!!

_Bound4Pleasure 52F
204 posts
5/14/2006 8:05 am

    Quoting Heartnsoul768:
    Heavensent ...... I have been friends with many women, who had felt they were used by men in the past as you just mentioned. I told them to use the guy before he uses you. Women have needs too, and as long as no feelings are hurt, a good time can be had by all.
i have to say for the most part,
cant blame men for "using" woman

Woman alway themselves to be used!

They can bitch and moan all they want
blaming men, for the one night stand or
what not....
However it takes 2 to tango!
woman need to step up to the plate, and take
It will be a better world when we can admit to
our own short comings, instead of blaming it on
anyone with a penis!

Heaven, Yes SOME men are dogs, but remember SOME
woman are fairly equal on the food chain!

_Bound4Pleasure 52F
204 posts
5/14/2006 8:07 am

Oooooops meant to say

Tone_33756 56M

5/16/2006 6:31 pm

If somebody could figure out how the male species operate, they'd get rich beyond their wildest

_Bound4Pleasure 52F
204 posts
5/17/2006 5:48 am

Well Heaven....
Until recently, ida thought you were crazy..
i wouldnt have cared less who slept with who....
but now i can tell you first hand....
Im Witchya!
I know what you mean about
"You tapped her ass (hope it was good)...
cause you ain't ever hitting this ever

swingweight3 57M

5/19/2006 8:55 am

I'd have to argure, (and I must; being a guy...) it isn't so much a 'gender-issue' focused on my 'species' being so "easy" - just that we tend to talk about it a bit more - funny, while you of the; "woman-species" always ask us, the men-folk, to be more communicative...seems we are, but with a different focus at times

I'd argue that it is equal in what you are talking about Heaven - women do the same to men - albeit at times, might be more-so on an emotional-level then a physical one. Take the; "arm-candy" aspect (yes, we men seem to allow it to happen...) where a woman will easily "date", (give-up her goodies) to someone (male) who is so far 'under' her scale...only doing so because it is 'easy' and the material things are readily available. geting "F*cked".

It is or should be, no matter your "plumbing"...a matter of personal respect - it starts at 'home' as they say...
(damn bandade on my typing/spelling is suffering...)

LovableAscending 60F

5/26/2006 10:49 am

Finally! Someone posted it! I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would enter a chatroom on this site and arrange a one night stand with another person from this site! I do agree that many men make decisions based on the rigidity of their members before they run it past their thinking heads. However, there are many women on AdultFriendFinder who also bypass the brain and think with their tingly parts.
A little character prodding before genital probing could save you, and your future sex partners, a trip to the health department - or worse...the cemetery. It does NOT take much time or effort to learn a little more about the person to intend to bed, and it could be a life-saving process. Watch for the red flags...they are out there, do your homework, and be selective fercryinoutloud.

*stepping off my soap box*

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