Smooth or Hairy Balls?  

header1979 38M
404 posts
8/3/2006 9:13 pm

Last Read:
8/18/2006 2:01 pm

Smooth or Hairy Balls?


Whenever I see the frequently asked question on the Advice Line about whether guys or women prefer smooth or hairy balls on a guy or how to shave balls, I always think of the following Darwin Award winner. Since the story has not been verified, it is probably bogus but funny anyway.

DARWIN AWARD WINNER

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining three some were asked to leave the course.

This Darwin Award winner wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, the award was allowed.

OUCH!

LadytoPleaseYou 65F
5447 posts
8/3/2006 9:32 pm

I guess the up side to this story is that now the gentleman can sing in the Vienna Boys Choir.... or as lead singer with the Four Seasons.

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


Cousin_Norman 64M

8/4/2006 4:16 am

Double ouch.


shooter0085 42M

8/4/2006 9:46 am

Thanks Header...I was eating lunch....I don't feel so good.


SolarPowered0 112M
8030 posts
8/4/2006 10:40 pm

To top it of off, the guy is now faced with having to make up a story about how his balls were lost. In light of his Darwinian status, I suppose it might take on a theme of a farm accident involving a horse (up Washington way) who mistakenly took a bite - of an apple?

Solar...(on a wing, and a prayer)


flagg134 37M
1582 posts
8/5/2006 12:57 pm

I feel a phantom pain just from reading that....OUCH!

RF


Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
8/6/2006 8:08 am

OMG, my crotch is suddenly uncomfortable, and I don't even have balls!

Ah well, dumb-asses like him shouldn't be allowed to reproduce anyway. Perhaps a ball washer should be the punishment used on true pedophiles and zoophiles.

So, they didn't say if the lost ball ended up shiny & clean?
Hippie XXX

How to Get Laid on AFF The Basics
Have fun, play safe!


CravesChocolate 57M
88 posts
8/6/2006 1:07 pm

This is called: "Thinning the heard" This is one guy who won't be passing the STUPID gene on to anyone!


DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
8/6/2006 1:38 pm

Where do you find this shit, lil' Header?

That's horrid.

No male can read that without wincing in pain....

Why did you post this?

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


IsThisBetter4u 107M

8/6/2006 4:52 pm

Remind me to tell you about the guy I worked with when I was a carpet cleaner. Those machines have pretty powerful suction. The guy ended up in pretty bad shape. Great story, man.


header1979 38M
507 posts
8/6/2006 4:52 pm

Hey Div,

I posted it just for the hell of it. There are so many questions day after day after day about smooth or hairy balls and shaving balls, etc. on the Advice Line that I felt like throwing some shit in the game on the subject to entertain myself. I remembered this from the Darwin Awards website. You cannot believe the stupid things you see on that website.


SensuousWoman3 56F
3106 posts
8/6/2006 5:08 pm

Was his nickname "Froggy" Sanchez by any chance?


DIVISION77 41M
8337 posts
8/6/2006 6:05 pm

    Quoting header1979:
    Hey Div,

    I posted it just for the hell of it. There are so many questions day after day after day about smooth or hairy balls and shaving balls, etc. on the Advice Line that I felt like throwing some shit in the game on the subject to entertain myself. I remembered this from the Darwin Awards website. You cannot believe the stupid things you see on that website.
lil' Header,

You're such a sick puppy....

What is your fascination with the Advice Lines?

Why are they more interesting than the blogs?

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
8/6/2006 11:57 pm

I can answer Div's Question...

I couldn't even read it without wincing in pain, and I have no balls!

The fascination with the Al's?
Because the AL's have the lowest common denominators in there asking the world's most asked/stupidest questions... and seeing how people answer can be entertaining... to say the VERY least.

Blogs are actually more interesting... but the AL's are great for those who need a quick humour fix. It makes us feel better about ourselves, (because stupidity runs rampant there, and there's just so much of it!) it makes us laugh (at all the comments people come up with for those stupid questions, esp by the regulars).

So, while blogs are more interesting, the AL's allow for a quicker pick-me-up.
Hippie XXX

How to Get Laid on AFF The Basics
Have fun, play safe!


header1979 38M
507 posts
8/7/2006 9:59 pm

Hey Div,

It isn't really fascination. I skim through it to see if there are any topics of interest to me. There are some topics that I like to comment on. Also, it is sort of a portal to meet new people. some become regulars and have interesting blogs. But you have to go through a lot of chaff to find the wheat. Every now and then, if I get a hair up my ass, I will call out a bullshitter or a stupid question. It is entertainment.


marathonman45202 54M
6640 posts
8/12/2006 12:27 pm

I'm just wondering what goes through people's minds when they make decisions like this.

Sorry, not even at my drunkest, or for all the money in the world!


SolarPowered0 112M
8030 posts
8/18/2006 10:58 am

    Quoting SensuousWoman3:
    Was his nickname "Froggy" Sanchez by any chance?
See if I ever say nice things about you - again, KB!


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