The First Six Months  

rm_harshawj 52M
761 posts
3/9/2006 9:13 am
The First Six Months

I noticed a trend today. For me it seems that if I want a relationship it has to last more than six months.

In my life I know that I have had only two relationships that have lasted more than about six months. One was with Diane, a lover I had for about a year and that ended because she had family obligations and we simply could not stay together at the time. The other long-term relationship was with my ex wife and that lasted nineteen years before falling apart in a disastrous divorce.

Since then there have been several relationships all lasting less than six months. Seem to me there is a barrier there. I you can make a relationship last more than six months maybe there is a chance for it to work. Or maybe I am just drawing correlations where there are none and trying to justify to myself that in the natural cycle of relationship that it is natural for relationships to end.

But maybe I am on to something. Six months may not seem like a lot of time, but if you think about it, it is a better part of a year. In that time you get to see people for how they are in a ton of situations, you have some time to really get to know them. You see their moods, their quirks, their hang-ups, and learn what side of the bed they like. You find out if you can live with toothpaste squeezed from the center or the tube rolled up. Do they throw their cloths just anywhere or use a hamper? In short, you find out if you can live with them.

But at about six months there is that question, is this the right person for me or should I cut it off before I let a lot more time pass. You ask the questions of yourself as to where the relationship is heading. I suppose most people would consider relationship over six months as long term, and that might be the case, so it is fair to wonder about these things.

If a relationship can last more than six months maybe there is something there to really work on. Maybe you can re-address the questions as to suitability after a year. Now you have seen them through a full cycle of your life and their life and know what to expect for the coming year. If it survives the full year and it continues, maybe we should re-examine again after three years after the two have had time to grow.

Maybe six months is just the first step and initial demarcation into a long term relationship. Maybe there is something to the six month thing after all.


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