Money Can't Buy  

rm_harshawj 52M
761 posts
6/20/2005 5:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Money Can't Buy

Happiness, you can't buy it. You can rent it from time to time, but money can not buy happiness.

It is strange, but I recently came into a chunk and you know what, I paid off bills, I paid off my car, I got everyone off my back that was hounding me for money, and I do not feel any different. I mean the stress is gone, sort of, but I feel like now I do not know what to do.

Seems wierd. Was I thriving on the stress of the eternal quest of accumulating money so hard that now that I have it I do not know what to do with the rest of my life? No, I have to go on, but it is weird. Maybe I am not used to being free of stress and so I am stressing about this. Am I crazy? Do I have some sort of psychological disorder that forces me to worry about the all mighty dollar.

The really interesting thing is that earlier in my life when money was not a big factor (I had enough to get by) I always thought that money was not a big deal. I loaned it to friends (sometimes got it back), I did what I pleased and if the cash was not there, I waited and then did what I pleased. I looked at cash as a tool, something to be used.

Now, I seem to have a different concept of money and I find I do not like it. What I want is to be like I was, never really worrying about it and using it as I want, making me happy and other around me happy if that was possible.

I will give you an example. I had a friend that was strapped for cash to the point that he didn't even have a phone. I said to myself, "Self, I got some cash now, help him out. It's the right thing to do. Besides, he's a friend and don't you do such things for friends?" I said, "Self, of course I do" and I did not care if I was short on cash after that, I just knew he needed this help more than I needed the extra money in my pocket.

I like that feeling, it did me good. Have I lost the naiveté towards money that I once had and now this is how I am supposed to feel? I don't know. I mean I know I need the balance of the cash I do have, it will help me for a long time although it is not enough to retire on (god I wish it were, then I may really have a different view and this would be a very interesting feeling.) But I thought I would be at this point like I was, looking at money as a simple tool and feeling as good about things as I had twenty years ago.

Maybe it's because I have grown. I have grown and maybe not for the better. I liked my old views and it now seems that I can't get them back. I want them back, I really do.

rm_QuietEyez 48F

6/21/2005 8:08 pm

It is weird the feelings money can create, I use to never have to worry about it and I didn't, I bought what I needed when I needed it, helped freinds and family when they needed help.

I dont think it is the money you hate, I mean I know for me, it is not the money I hate, It's the dependency on it, and the way not having it has changed how I live my life and do things.

I hate needing money, hate the way it makes me feel to have to work 2 jobs to make money, hate that I am dependent upon something that I can not control, only be a slave to it.

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