Deep Conversation  

rm_harshawj 52M
761 posts
1/27/2006 4:43 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Deep Conversation

I seem to be on a deeper level of thought today, so I will ask this question: When people say they want someone to have a good and meaningful conversation with, that kind of conversation are they talking about? Are you looking for a political discussion? Philosophical? Metaphysical? Transcendental? Intellectual? Humorous? Religious? Cultural? Ethnic? Pop Culture? Current Events? Personal? Emotional? Something else altogether? What?

Do you want a debate on a subject? Many subjects? Do you want to be the lead in the debate or do you want someone else to bring up points to make you think. How deep of a discussion are you willing to have? Are you willing to entertain new ideas or do you want to spread your ideas to others? Are you willing to concede a point if someone else provides a good case? Are you willing to accept that if someone concedes a point they mean it and move on? Do you want to learn new things or teach?

Having a discussion can take on many forms, and I have to wonder what you really mean by saying you want a good conversationalist. To be honest with you all, I have found that many people who say they want a conversation are just looking for some that will talk at all and if the discussion should get deeper they are not really interested. I know that I can hold a good conversation, I am very adept at it. I can listen, I can communicate my ideas clearly, and I know when to admit I was wrong. Do you, the seeker of a conversation know how to do these things as well?

Not to sound arrogant, but these same people looking for good conversation do not have the vocabulary for such a dialog. It is frustrating to have them skirt a topic because the words are not there (like I just did, but had I not used circumlocution would you have known what I meant?) Just how esoteric do you want to get or can get?

On flipside, if you engage in a conversation with someone who is adept at the art of conversation, do you turn off? Is that person then just too smart? Are you looking for someone smarter than you, at your level or below you? Is it an ego thing? Do you want to match wits? Can you accept being outwitted? Touché …

I ask all these questions because this is something I do. In fact I do it professionally. I lecture at UNLV on the topic of “Cognitive Psychology as related to Artificial Intelligence; Moral and Ethical Imperatives” at the graduate level. I do not have a degree in this but it is a very wide topic and I hold my own and usually blow away all but a few of the sharper students and most professors. Could you handle a conversation at that level? Would you care to try?

Is this entry too pedantic for you? If so, are you sure you want a good conversationalist? Or maybe you just want someone to chat with. In any event, I would love to know what you all mean by “wanting a good conversationalist”.

(OK, so this was a fairly smartass entry, but I still want to know.)

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