Looking for a rose in a bed of weeds  

happygirl68 49F
293 posts
6/19/2006 5:30 pm

Last Read:
11/5/2007 4:23 am

Looking for a rose in a bed of weeds

Every once in a while I have a conversation with someone, and they say something that lingers with you for a while. This usually happens alot when entertaining oneself through the internet. You can't ever be sure who you are talking to, who that person is, who they portray themselves to be. I like to believe that given the opportunity, time, and repeated conversations, they will eventually reveal themselves. So today what starts as a somewhat innocent conversation suddenly makes me stop and wonder. What starts as a joke about matchmaking suddenly turns to a theory on men. Him being of the opposite sex takes the opportunity to share two things: 1) All men lie. 2) Mens motivation is strictly to get into a woman's pants. hmmmm. Lingering yes to say the least. So in my attempt at a higher learning I ask do you agree or disagree? Will you disprove his theory or plead the fifth?

normalornaught 35M

6/19/2006 6:26 pm

Theory, all men lie and all men are just trying to get in a woman's pants. Hmmmm, well first all men don't lie just to get in a woman's pants, we lie for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes to allow our kids some fun such as Santa Claus is coming. Sometimes self preservation like when asked "were you looking at my wife", huh uh looking down there at that light, then the follow up, "is there something wrong with my wife", no she seems like a fine upstanding lady. But lie to get in a woman's pants never, the thought of it goes beyond my comprehension.

As for the thought of just getting in her pants, no way I want to get to know her a little first, then get in her pants.

elysianpleasure 48M

6/19/2006 11:00 pm

All men don't lie... and there is more to life than getting into a women's pants...

That's my story... and I am sticking to it... no lie... really.... even though I am a man. Although.. ummm... getting in your pants... isn't exactly something I would say no too

lizard_is_me49 51M

6/20/2006 3:58 am

In regards to lies:
Everybody lies occasionally. Men and women.

In regards to telling lies just to get in someones pants:
I don't agree that all men lie to get in a womans pants. I've found that honesty works much better in that department. It's better to have everything out in the open then to be caught in a lie. Women are more apt to forgive an imperfection then a lie.

rm_NiceBigBear 52M
2 posts
6/26/2006 8:18 pm

Do men lie? Yes, but...

Real men have no need for deception. I've had sex or (in rare cases) made love with a woman without many questions. Somehow though, the less we knew about each other, the less intense the experience was. Not that I've never had a WOW experiences with women I barely knew... just in general, knowing each other well is better.

One of the best friends I ever had was a woman. We (by mutual agreement) never had sex. We talked, drank, laughed, flirted and held each other all night. We felt that making love might spoil our relationship... so we never did (although it was very close a few times!).

To address your question directly; No, we (men) don't ALWAYS just want sex. Yes, we're wired to try for it, and its often foremost in our minds. However, it may not be in our best interest.

I beleive you're correct that the true presonality of your friend or lover will show through eventually. The trick is, don't invest too mush until you see it all.

rrr45044 62M

6/27/2006 11:33 am

Do men lie - yes. Everyone lies and for different reasons. I consider myself an honest person but I do lie on occasion to spare someone else's feelings. Do you hold it against them - depends on the seriousness of the question to which they lie.

Men motivated to get into women's pants - biologically yes - but socially not necessarily. I gotta like the woman's brain first, then I consider the rest of the package.

I've had women here on AdultFriendFinder that have expressed interest in me even though they say 'no married men' and my profile says 'married' (although my sex life screams otherwise). When i tell them the interest wanes - I could have lied but I didn't - -and i didn't get into their pants when I could have.

How does that fit the theory?

DiscreetFunCMH 51M

7/6/2006 8:12 am

I don't think lies are limited to men at all. All people lie... about something. It's the basic premise of the show "House" on tuesday nights on Fox. He's a doc that beleives EVERYONE lies and most of the time, he's right. The reasons for the lies and their degree vary by person. Most are harmless, meant to encourage or lift a mood. Others are manipulative with a goal in mind. Which brings me to your second point of men just want to get into your pants. Here... At this site?? completely and totally true. Why else would a man be here if not for sex? Women are social creatures and this can provide community for them, but for men, it's about the hunt. And when hunting, you do what you must to capture your prey. Lie, Cheat, Steal all for the prize.

Now outside of this site and with a handful of exceptions within this site it is possible to find a man who isn't as "goal" oriented as I have discribed here, but within the confines and nature of this site, it would be the exception, not the norm.

I do beleive that most people including the men of this site are honest. The problem is the nature of the site and it's ultimate design of hooking people up. Finding someone willing to be "friends first" and go through that get to know you period and a bit hard to come by in a world where instant gratification is the norm. It is possible though and in fact that is a "hunt" unto itself. Finding the exceptions.

So to prove or disprove your theory, I guess it would have to be qualified in the context of this site or in general? I personally try to be honest here and up front about my desires and searches but in doing that my life outside of here contains lies. Somewhat in reverse of what i've discribed whish is an oxymoron, but life is never normal.

Good Luck

Good Luck.

happygirl68 replies on 7/6/2006 4:25 pm:
While this post started as being a bit playful, I have found some of the responses to be educational. You have made some interesting points here. By the way love the show "House", so can completely relate to that analogy. Most of all I would have to agree with you the temptation to lie does cross gender lines. Enjoyed your comment and thanks for visiting.

AllwaysAsmile 51M
1 post
7/12/2006 9:07 am

Yes most men lie to get the things they want....but the same is true for most women....human nature is always going to bring out the worst in all of us, but then again if we all told the truth at all times then what would we get?

AngryPirate1 42M
1 post
7/15/2006 1:33 pm

Have to admit this is the most entertaining site I have been to yet.

I think that we probably all tell some lies (men and women)....just to varying degrees. I think you are mixing a physiology lesson in with a moral issue. Is it ok to lie? Depends. Who gets hurt? If it doesn't hurt anyone to any great deal, then who cares. Women don't like to tell their age, weight, spend time telling the kids about the Easter Bunny/Santa claus, and telling their daughter(s) that there is such a thing as a perfect man (or dog from other post . Men like to make you think they know what their doing....you will never see a man looking for the directions/instructions, stopping for directions, or admitting that they like figure skating (even if they really do). You will never hear a man tell a woman (if he is smart) that her hair/make up looks bad, he hates those shoes becuase they make her ankles look fat, or that you could show a movie on her ass if she wears that white skirt out...lol.

The Physiology: You do the math, men think about sex something like every 9 seconds and women every 17 seconds. By my math, thats almost twice as much thinking. We are simple creatures. If a woman talks to you, she must want you in her pants. Would we lie to get in...maybe...but time will reviel that as you pointed out in your post.

Well thats my story and I'm sticking to it

SirMounts 103M

8/4/2006 4:27 pm

Any time we try to use the word "all" about any group of people, we invite sterotyping, discrimination, and hate. We wouldn't say all women gosip, or nag... because that is obviously a silly notion. So it is too to say that all Men lie, or care only about sex.

rm_reload1256 61M
4 posts
1/12/2007 3:12 am

No not all men lie,fuck there I go again lieing...never mind

handyman2679 71M

2/25/2007 4:23 am

There's an old saying - Most men will say or do almost anything as long as they think it's foreplay!

i_want_some140 49M

5/9/2007 4:04 pm

Well it seems you have all the answers you need but I'll put my 2 cents in anyway. All people lie, men and women, but it's the motivation for the lie that is what counts. Is it malicious or is it to comfort someone you care for. If it's for the purpose of getting in someone's pants, it is the most dispicable of lies. I agree full heartedly with NiceBigBear about the best sex being with someone you know well. If there's a real personal connection, sex with that person is so much better.

round_town 49M

8/6/2007 3:55 am

Well, I have found out through experience women like to be lied to. I have for so long told the straight forward truth and it has gotten me nowhere. (Heck, just look at my profile) Even a little "hello" has gotten me such evil looks. Not to mention the quick notes I send on this site or even a wink to let them know. i have a total of 2 yes TWO winks. Makes me think, are women that shallow? Sometimes a good fuck is nice but then a nice evening out is also good. Don't forget to seperate the men from the boys is this disscussion. Some of us men can hold pretty good conversation, not to mention a door or two..or even a hot sweaty body up against the wall. not just sending dick pictures....

whiteboy69693 56M
39 posts
11/4/2007 5:48 pm

    Quoting handyman2679:
    There's an old saying - Most men will say or do almost anything as long as they think it's foreplay!
hey handyman way to go lay the truth upon us and tell it like it is

whiteboy69693 56M
39 posts
11/4/2007 5:59 pm

1 all men lie?well of course they do,and i suppose women dont?and u know sometimes women like being lied to,example they like being told they r the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth when they know it isnt no where near the truth 2mens motivation is strictly to get into a womans pants?well i would have to say it is without a doubt thier primary motivation but hey my dear arent men supposed to like to do that?men are supposed to like sex,or i always thought that.and so women dont want men in thier pants?well just remember women like sex as much as men do and some of them more,but thats not all the motivation i have alot of female friends that i have little or no desire to get in thier pants just enjoy thier friendship conversation and company and just hanging out no i am not in any way attempting to disprove his theory and no i aint pleadin the 5th,i just tell it like i see it whether ya like it or not and remember as my daddy told me when i was a young boy,plain talk is easy to understand

Become a member to create a blog