CONFESSIONS - THIS IS HOW WRONG IT WENT  

hairbabedelivers 53F
38 posts
12/14/2005 5:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

CONFESSIONS - THIS IS HOW WRONG IT WENT


i am listening to a mix that i call "deep thoughts." it is a blend of acoustic recordings, perfect for what i can only describe as "shocking." even to me.

if you know me, it is common knowledge that i can be somewhat tempermental. i prefer passionate. a few weeks ago, i deleted what i had written when someone who had the audacity to force an emotion out of me turned the other way, and angered me. i realize now that even walking away, he looks good. gotta hate that. i wanted to do a year in review post, but for it to be complete, i must start here. i am still waiting for Oprah to call me and pay off my home. i am still tired of working so hard. i am still waiting for that wrong number call that i answer and end up pleading guilty to trumped up charges for calling gw "cheesy". i still have a sibling out there given up a year before i was born. i am still the eldest of 4 girls, one of which is still looking for dwayne, and the 4th of 7 if you count the wife and 3boys that my deceased father forgot to mention while he was alive. again, you gotta hate it. at the very least, i am an overachiever, but is there a point to doing anything half way or wrong on purpose?
Last year at this time i had the flu. i felt like shit, but i was engaged to a man that made errors in judgement. one mistake in particular really gets my goat. and every time that goat gets got he runs off to [bloggy hell.] it used to bother me, but if a few minutes with [bulging boy] leaves him starry eyed and smelling of cigarrettes and dr. pepper, who am i to judge, right? anyway, sorry my a d dness gets the best of me sometimes. anyway, i had just scoured my house, in anticipation of my future x-inlaws arrival, spent a week birdsitting the loudest doodie hurling birds in texas and spent an entire day unpacking a friend's house while she chased her shar pei all over the neighborhood on adderall. she did look like the skipper on speed and a bad dye job. the parents came and refused to see me. seems my future x mother in law found photographic evidence of my skill as a contortionist among her husbands things. NEVER RENT FROM INLAWS TO BE. and i thought it was my low moral character...really. i spent xmas eve and morning alone. you can take the parents away from the boy,,,,but you can't make him quit drinking, grow hair, or plan for retirement. that was christmas. he arrived home on new year's eve and i had planned a grand and sensuous ringing in the new year on the master deck under the stars. it would have been perfect if he hadn't realized at 11pm that he left a bag in the company truck which was at the company. at midnite, i was explaining to the officer that while i understood that i should not be driving wearing oversized southpark slippers and robe only, we had to get to that truck. the new year started with a warning. looking back on that, it could have been a sign. my kiss was a peck on the cheek as i drove home. it took me 2days and 2 trips to the Ace hardware store, whose signage should read "it's only a dollar at walmart, and no, we won't kiss you first." i had lost 2 nails and possibly my neighbor as a friend, but i did handle it, and shrugged off the "barter with the repairman?" comments.
his b/day was the first week of feb. i had spoken with the surprisers, arranged b/day dinner w/daughter who burns the best cake in town, and special ordered, sized jewelery, and told a bunch of lies. the night before the party, he drank and told me he wasn't going to the "super bowl" party w/me. he was going elsewhere and gave me until the end of the weekend to disassemble the disposal
that he knew i didn't replace alone...it took me 9 minutes on the disposal and the truth about the party for me to get 3hrs sleep. party sucked, and i knew then that he did too, but he was the only man i ever loved, and maybe he was having a bad......life?
march held roof damage, broken windows and insurance adjusters on easter weekend, but all was good, as i was up for raise review and had the top numbers in town in 9 out of 10 areas. denied
april and may were uneventful, save for a job offer at the end of may. too good to pass up, i would be paid closer to what i am worth. yay!!!
i would start july 5. abdominal pain sent me to the hospital. wrong meds brought me back. they kept me. released with a pick line-think about cutting out a few feet of intestine, they said, and i got better. whew! new job and what the hell is that spot on my arm? staph infection. head to toe. swollen and abcessed. everywhere. he said i was gross and he couldn't look at me. but i had the figure i always wanted. and there's always plastic surgery for the scars, right....
hey, whose underwear is this? he could figure out he doesn't live here when he comes back.
all of this led me to AdultFriendFinder where i am proud to make a couple of announcements. first, i am being persued by a gay man. when i ask other gay men why, the answer is always the same. i am fabulous. and now for the big news. i have chosen to end this year with a wedding...yes, ironically i know where dwayne is hiding, and i have come to blogland to take him home. his shirts are clean, his pillow is fluffed and he is mine, all mine. we have so much in common and he likes yardwork and rearranging the house. he even folds clothes. i have promised not to use his "real" name, as there may be an angry x watching, so i will leave you with his picture and the "handle he is using beginning with a T. if anyone sees him, please send him home. if he makes his way to those twins or that princess, i am done for. please help bring dwayne out for christmas. i will try to sleep at night if he comes out. the lights are on, honey.
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hairbabedelivers



rm_Dave4435 61M
3 posts
12/15/2005 7:24 pm

Well Jen I read the last blog. Interesting reading and I really think you will find all is good. The worst things in life can become good. It sounds like you are seeking truth and Jen I truly hope you find. I truly hope the new year comes in for you with nothing but good. Anyway What a year and anyway Your writing is very expressionable and I am trying to understand it all but that will always lie in the heart of the one who wrote it. I wish you the best in the new year and hope you will find Happiness not lonliness this Christmas.


hairbabedelivers 53F

12/20/2005 12:51 am

thank you dave, don't ever think for a minute that i don't know that you are you. wish i had more time to talk, but i will not until after the holidays. hope you spent time w/your son while he was on leave. always in my prayers. know that you reside in my "happy place"
and we will talk when i find it.

hugs, jennifer


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