Swearing off men?  

gussax 52M
105 posts
2/3/2006 9:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Swearing off men?

Last weekend at karaoke I ran into a gal I used to work with, a gal that I knew respected me. I had always enjoyed being around her and had a strong passion toward her. She hugged me and held me in the way I knew only she could. We gazed into each others eyes, I just had to kiss her. I leaned in and we shared a nice kiss. We danced some that night, kissed some more. Her and her sister needed a ride home so I gave them the ride. They invited me in where we chatted, etc. Her sister had to go to bed, but me and her stayed up a while. We talked, cuddled, and caressed, etc. We kissed, fondled, etc. I sensed resistence on her part, but assured her that I was definitely interested in her, and wanted to be with her. I let her know that I wanted more then what this one night could offer, that I wanted to get to know her better and wanted a relationship with her. I told her either I could email her later in the week, or I could call her the next day if she gave me her number. She gave me her number. I called the next day and Sunday and got the answering machine. This disturbed me. I wandered if I had alienated her somehow, because things did get a little out of hand. In an effort to clear the air and reassure her that I didn't want a fling but was sincerely interested in her, I sent a card with a poem and nice letter. I found out through a friend that works with her that she had some allergic reactions, and was not at work and hadn't gotten my letter until today. She emailed me today. She told me that she could not date anyone right now. That she knew what a great guy I am, and that I would never hurt her. It was just that she was scared of men right now in her life because of how other men had treated her in recent relationships. Why do women do this? Why do they punish all men for what a few assholes have done?

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
2/4/2006 11:59 am

i don't think it is punishment...

there are several other explanations.

if someone did that to me, i would say they were coming on too strong and that it was too much to decide so soon...

[blog freelove999]

musicalKnight 43M
2 posts
2/4/2006 6:18 pm

Hmmmm I would say she's feeling vulnerable at the moment. Based on what she said, I would hazard a guess that she's a little afraid of jumping back into the dating scene...keep in contact with her, but at the same time give her some space. In doing so, she won't feel pressured. (I'm speaking from experience on this point)

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
2/6/2006 8:00 am

Great advice here from these three folks so I don't have too much to add. It doesn't sound like she is trying to punish anyone...just trying to take care of herself. Respect her for doing that and if you really care for her, give her the space she needs to heal.

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