I'm Back ... and Wondering  

goldri452 65M
74 posts
1/30/2006 11:20 am

Last Read:
3/16/2006 12:07 pm

I'm Back ... and Wondering

This is not a picture of me but of how I feel. I had some serious thinking to do about having extramarital relations. Not sure that I can deal with the difficulties and pain that I might cause. If my wife became aware of these desires, I know that she would be deeply hurt. If the woman with whom I became involved desired a more committed relationship, she would end up getting hurt. It looks like the 'no strings / friends with benefits' options are a male fantasy and I have been having a time trying to reconcile myself to that. It sucks having a libido that is so much stronger than my wife's.

_CoffeeNoCream_ 54F

1/30/2006 12:40 pm

no strings works for me...

rm_WickedFemale 64F
401 posts
1/30/2006 12:44 pm

It does not "suck" but it is sad in many ways. The satisfaction of "loving" one without their needs does not make everyone happy in the end. Look into all options....consulting, sex therapy for both, weekend retreats. Once all or some has been tried, and there is still that feeling within, it would seem as if the only one that will be hurt is you.....
Be well, dear goldri

goldri452 65M

1/31/2006 12:25 pm

I am somewhat frustrated but not hurt. If in the end it comes down to my not pursuing 'external' adventures, I believe I am strong enough to deal with it. The love that I receive far outweighs the sexual fulfilment. We are not celibate, just not nearly as frequent as I would prefer. I don't think that I can make someone want more than they want. I need to be considerate of that I suppose. Maybe my judgement is clouded by my desire.

moonlightphoenix 46F
6508 posts
2/1/2006 2:36 pm

Goldri, your honesty is refreshing. It's nice to see someone who actually cares about their spouse, and putting thought into things before acting on impulse to achieve some sort of fantasy fulfilment. The discussions you have initiated have been thought provoking. Your wife is a very lucky woman and I wish you the best.

PS...my judgement is always clouded by my desire...friendship can be one of the best illuminators to heighten visibility

Fox4aKnight1 44F

2/2/2006 10:04 pm

hugs hun .....

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