My mom the bitch......pt 1  

goddessofbitches 42M/34F
5317 posts
2/12/2006 8:38 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My mom the bitch......pt 1

I think my mom is a bitch. But, not a good one. At least, not as good as me. It's no surprise that me and my mom are like this. You try to put to women who like to be in control of their surroundings in the same room together for very long and they tend to blow up on one-another.

My rant with her starts off in my earlier years. My earliest memories of her involve being at another man's apartment with her, and that man WASN'T my father, her dropping me off in the bowling alley nursery so she could bowl, her and my dad fighting (with words and fists) and her not ever really being there.

I can remember that she would do somethings for me. Like, in Kindergarten, she was the Daisy scout leader. But, quit after I moved on the Brownies. (THAT"S PART OF THE GIRL-SCOUTS GUYS) She went to a few of my basketball games growing up. She spent money on me going to camp(basketball camp that is) and she usually loved to fight battles for me. Like this one time, my teacher accused me of doing something, and my mom called her a crazy bitch right in front of me. I really didn't do what she accused me of, I think it had something to do with showing a male student what it felt like to be kicked in the balls. My mom told her that a straight A student, who was student of the week more than once, would not do something such as that.

But what I can't remember....is what makes me hate her so. I can't remember her ever kissing me goodnight. I can't recall her reading to me. In-fact, she bought me a tape player, and bought book on tape sets so she didn't have to do the dirty work. I can't recall her ever really telling me she loved me. I can't recall her telling me everything would be OK. I can't recall her asking me what I wanted. I don't recall her coming to my rescue when my dad did such crazy things to me. I don't recall her ever APOLOGIZING to me after she blamed me.

She blamed me for her life. She said that if I hadn't have been born, she wouldn't have married my dad...and that she would have gotten the chance to be young and wild.

The problem is, the more I type this down, the more she starts to sound like me, and the more this is starting to sound as though it is being typed by my own son.

TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~MANDY


Always The Bitch


sweethoneysouth 39F
280 posts
2/13/2006 3:33 am

Sending hugs. You know, that your children will have better than you did. You have learned what not to do from your parents mistakes.


norprin5 56M

2/13/2006 6:49 am

i understand your feelings towards your mom. i had a lot of hate for my dad for a long time. and like you, one of the things i was most angry/scared about was the thought that i was being the same kind of father to my son that my dad was to me. it took a lot of counselling for me to get past that...it also helped to talk about it with myself and a couple of very close friends.

keep writing it down, luv, talk about it...it will get clearer.

please contact me through this friendly site, i'd be happy to talk to you more about it.

King Nor XVIII


kyplowboy22 63M

2/13/2006 8:25 am

And the cycle continues? Or does it stop here?. Later

kpb


rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
2/13/2006 12:33 pm

honey, i think you are being a bit hard on yourself. i am a lot older than you and i only have one kid with a 9 to 5 nanny, and i find it a strain how much energy it takes (i mention age as a reflection of lifeskills acquired and financial security not as a reflection of intelligence) ... i guess a lot of us could say we wanted more from our parents, and maybe your son will say that... but, you are not standing by and letting your child be abused and blaming him for it, and if you really haven't told your son you love him (which I don't believe) then it is not too late to start rectifying it!

if you do find yourself blaming your son for your stress, then you need to find ways to stop, and also apologise for saying it.

>>>hugz<<< honey, parenting like anything else is a journey -- you just need to commit yourself to that learning process (which in any case, i know you do).

xx



[blog freelove999]


popmuse01 36F

2/13/2006 7:34 pm

*HUGS*

You are NOT your mother.

You know the mistakes she made with you, and you don't want to make the same mistakes with your kids. That is what makes you different.

I'm leaving the site end of March. To those who want to keep in touch, see blog for details.


mangomamiCT 43F

2/13/2006 8:03 pm

No way , you are aware of your mothers influences and that's good . You speak with so much love when you mention your son . And you can today make it different . Don't take responsibility for your moms crap , learn from it . Learning is a lifelong journey .

Love ya gurl !!!!!!!!!!!!!


ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
2/13/2006 8:24 pm

i have mom issues too. i've got different issues with my kids. none of us are near perfect.


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