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An Amazing Journey
 
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These are my stories of erotica.The sex side of the male human brain, mine anyway! They are here for you and your pleasure, and your comments are welcome! Some ones are true, some enhanced, some from experience, some cum with a health warning!
Welcome! to the dungeons of desire, pleasure and lust!
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I got bored - or was it sun stroke
Posted:May 3, 2015 4:46 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2017 2:28 pm
111401 Views

Read somewhere that a blowjob was to a man what a bunch of red roses was to a woman.
Well they got it wrong. A Blow job is more like a chocolate sweet, all hard on the outside but with a soft center. After a few minutes the center oozes out and the hard shell just melts in your mouth (any flavour you wish).
So my last post managed to break the sites style sheets in some browsers and upset the layout - sorry about that. I love the idea of being prepared for every eventuality - would I need a bus like this if I ever plan to visit Australia.
I do like the idea of travelling but I was never too sure of strange food. Ostrich Steak and Gator Tail may be well established but not too sure about these places.
Then there are the local customs and things to watch out for when on holidays in a strange land or country and it is fun finding out where the locals hang out....




..and when all has ended for the day filled with play I have found the perfect place for my partner to stay.
Well it was international naked gardening day this weekend. Today was warm and humid and anything was possible - so I went to hug a tree.

And so.....
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk!!!

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy six cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!
Men should get it the first time.
Have a great sexy Sunday!
15 Comments
Crises - what crises
Posted:May 2, 2015 4:13 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2015 3:05 pm
110877 Views
Crises - What Crises
Was it that I had won 100,000,000 in the Nigerian Lotto
and they wanted to pay it into your bank account?
No, not really.
Was it that the number of comments on the blogs were down?
No, not really.
Was it that I could not decide what chanel to watch on the TV?
No, not really.
Was it the car? No not really. It had been in the family for 7 years but had been made in the last century, the last millinium even, and it had served it days well as as my "soccer mums" car.
No - it was still on four wheel and going strong but a little the worse for wear and tear - so "no" it was not the car that was causing the crises.

It took some maintenance to keep it going
But the time had come to either face up to it for another year of maintenance or seek a change.
So I opted for a change for something a tiny little less practical, just a little. And that is where the crises begins.
But was great for relaxing in
My calls over and walks in the door "Nice car" he says, followed, in the same breath "Mid life crises!" - my two girls chimed in in agreement and no telling them that my mid life crises had begun when they were born could convince them.
OK! It is not quite a practical - having two doors instead of four, and it is a lot lower (God help my lumbago) with less space inside (which makes it easier to heat on cold morning) - but it's cool to look at and drive. Now all I need is a few sexy model volunteers to pose and take photographs like the one below so I can do the car total justice - underwear provided!
If you want to ride my car
please dress inappropriately
12 Comments
Only cause I was asked
Posted:Apr 20, 2015 3:30 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2015 2:51 pm
111108 Views

Thank you for the tagging... I have a love/hate relationship with such quizzes.
I have been busy with family medical things, so please accept my apology for the delay in posting this.

But when someone asks me some questions there are times when it would be rude not to reply!


Well what would you do if someone like that asked you?

And then teased you...
Do you have a crush? A crush would be an over statement - but my heart can miss a beat occacionally (Madonna if I cannot have Suzi Quatro)!
What's your middle name? Gerard Joseph - I have two middle names cause, like New York New York, I got named twice!
What's your height? 5 foot, 5 and 1/2 inches - the half is vitally important!
What's your shoe size? 5 or 6 (UK Size) - sometimes I get away with the largest "boy" size which is a bonus as they cost a lot less!
What's your eye color? Blue - Blue!
When's the last time you cried? Watching Neil Diamond sing "America" in the Jazz Singer the other night - for no reason that I could find!
What's your biggest fear? That something bad would befall any of my - as parents do we not live with that every day!
What's the last song you listened to? No idea - I have 101 songs I listen to on the car CD player.
Who was the last person you texted? My - we were texting over a car he is thinking of buying.
What's your relationship status? Young, Free and Single - or filled with wishful thinking, single parent with three grown up !

Who to tag... I wish I knew
- but I think everyone I know has done it (the quiz I mean)!

I think I would give in

Yes Officer! Whatever you want!
10 Comments
How far would you go...
Posted:Mar 15, 2015 9:50 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2015 2:50 pm
115671 Views

How far would you go...
How far would you go was the title of a blog I read many years ago. Of course it was about how far one might travel to meet fellow bloggers at a bloggers bash - but I have found that that question, or a variation of it can help get life's priorities in perspective and balance.

I am not talking about how much underwear to remove on a first date, although that could be interesting.... and I am not talking about how many inches one might give or take, or where, even if that could be interesting too.... but I am talking about how life is full of trying to get balances right and juggle responsibilities, wants, needs and desires and that sort of thing - and one can work out what is important by working out how far one would put themselves out for something.

The last 12 months have seen my time balance squeezed between having extra hours in work and extra family responsibilities and I have been remiss at not dropping in here for a visit and checking on how you are all doing.

So here I am making some time to visit and catch up. I see that I have thousands of new posts that I have missed over the months - but I will try and get a gist of how things are going.

Hope you have all been good and well in my absence!
24 Comments
What time is it...
Posted:Dec 31, 2013 3:08 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2016 1:34 pm
162658 Views



So Christmas is over, Santa has made it safely back to the North Pole.

He has discarded his Nice or Naughty list and opened a new one for next year.

The elves have a well deserved day off, the reindeer are all watered and fed after their whistlestop around the world trip.




And as the sun sets on 2013 it is easy to look back and think about the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the dreams and anticipations, those dashed and those seen through to their end.



But it is best to consign 2013 to the past and to look forward to the future, expanding upon the experiences of the past that go to make us what we are today, and looking forward a future filled with love and dreams that become realities and true happiness in everything we are set to experience - if only that were possible - but we must be positive and wish.



So as the New Year ticks in I wish you all the best for whatever roads lie ahead for you.



Happy New Year!

And to those less fortunate than to be surrounded by all the good we wish and search for, and to those separated by distance or by time, or those of you with worries on your mind, may 2014 bring you peace and peace of mind and hopes for better times as the new year starts to slip by.

To my blogging friends on line, I thank you for the past year, and years, your comments, your support and encouragement - now, think good and positive for the year ahead - I wish you all all the best.

My time on lime is limited by my new roll as a grandpa and baby sitter and the extra hustle and bustle that there is in the house - but as the weeks progress I will catch up upon my reading and my writing and hope to get to visit, read and comment on your posts.
So, one and all, have a great and wonderful and exciting and sexy 2014!
12 Comments
Is it a boat, is it a plane, No! better ask again
Posted:Dec 5, 2013 6:25 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2014 3:05 pm
167138 Views

Is it a girl?
Is it a boy?
Or as they say in Dublin - Is it a boy or a ?

Well - the next generation has arrived and it is a boy.

Mother and baby are doing fine, and home now.


Life is very busy and it is hard to get the time to be here really!



Scientists have for many years and decades debated the existance of Parallel Universes.

Well men are supposed to be able to box things off and have little compartments in their brains to store unrelated things...

open a box, deal with the issues, then close the box again and move on to the next thing

- in this way men can live in Parallel Universes by keeping the contents of each box separate.
No so for me at the moment, there are far too many boxes open and their contents spilling over into other boxes.

Not all good or bad or anything, just the changes that take place as life progresses.

Some make sense, some do not and others seem to come from nowhere, yet they are changes which I must learn to embrace. I won't go into details here, this is not the forum - but there are so many parallel lines but there is one thing that binds them all together.



Dream dream, even for a little while,
Dream dream, filling up an idle hour,
Fade away, radiate

I sit by and watch the river flow,
I sit by and watch the traffic go,
Imagine something of your very own,
Something you can have and hold,

I'd build a road in gold,
just to have some dreaming...
Dreaming is free,
Dreaming...
Dreaming is free,
Dreaming...


Dreaming - Blondie

22 Comments
Wintergrey
Posted:Nov 24, 2013 5:01 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2015 10:46 am
166399 Views

It may be cold and damp and dark outside,
the further north you live the more you can understand that.


But hay, it is Winter and the long warm summers evening
are put away for yet another year.


It is easy to becomes depressed, looking at the cold and grey
but Christmas is coming with all the joy and jolliment that will be made.


Life here has been busy, no new arrivals or departures yet,
but am on a count down and ready...


I hope you all are well and looking forward to the season ahead,
Thanksgiving for some and then the shopping rush.


These are the visions I have in my head...

Warm coat and scarves and hats and mittens,
Breath condensing in the chilled air,

Young couples walking hand in hand,
Older couples with in tow,

Enlightened by the magic of the shopping windows
dressed for the season.

These displays bringing me to magical lands
and places where we all have been,
even if only in our dream.
Somewhere in the distance there are carol singers singing..

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la....


Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way....
Oh what fun it is to ride
on a one open sleigh...

And as the season draws us forward we reminisce upon times past and take the good from our experiences and join them to the present and build new future memories based upon those combined and shared experiences.

This year, like other years, there are changes, nothing stays the same, life goes on, throws a few curved balls, people grow up, set out on voyages of their own, make new lives, new beginnings, new doors opening, old ones closing, but the song remains the same....

from chasing dreams and fire flies in the summer sun to
walking the streets in the cold November Rain!




Inspiration can come in many forms, sometimes just browsing the shop windows, and you see something that "clicks" and realise you are looking at the "perfect" gift. Other times it's down to lists, "socks", "scarves", "gloves", "slippers", "scented candles", "wines" and "cheeses" ... and other times nothing fits.





I have a dream, a song to sing,
To help me cope, with anything...
If you see the wonder, of a fairy tale,
You can take the future, even if you fail...
I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see!
I believe in angels,
When I know the time is right for me!
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream!

I have a dream, a fantasy,
To help me through, reality...
And my destination, makes it worth the while,
Pushing through the darkness, still another mile...
I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see!
I believe in angels,
When I know the time is right for me!
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream!
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream!

I Have A Dream - Abba



And all I want for Christmas
is ...
...my two front teeth...
... not telling ...
- or the dream might die -

... and may all your Christmas wishes
come true!


21 Comments
Daily musings
Posted:Oct 22, 2013 4:23 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2013 4:46 am
166561 Views

What a busy few weeks have passed. Was on a training course as well as my usual work... so as well as my usual commute by car I also had a commute on The Luas, which is the name given to the "new" Dublin tram system .

Well on day two I took to Luas people watching, and I noticed how multicultural Dublin had become with people of different race, language and culture. All good I might add. Ireland had been a net exporter of peoples until recently, so the most you used to find in Dublin were young country lads and lassies come up her to work. Not so now as Dublin has become the Silicon Valley of Europe.

But back to my Luas people watching, all I could see was her hair and the side of her face, and she was good looking, young and pretty, and, as my mind wandered to wonder if she had had sex that morning (who says that men think of sex every 10 minutes...lol), I was faced with a vision of seeing everyone suddenly naked on the tram, everyone but this one person of course...lol... but the horror of a tram fulled of naked bodies at 9am soon passed and I go off at my stop dignity intact.

Dublin Liffey Boardwalk!
Over lunch I sat on the boardwalk over the River Liffey, they never had boardwalks in my day, that was reserved for the U.S. of A. - but here was I watching the people passing by, some snuggling together on the seat, some just chatting and some having a McDonalds or a Subway or just a few beers, the warm sun seemed to suit everyone including the group of tourists on a walking tour by listening how the Irish drink of Poitin was made and how it could be up to 90% spirit - paint stripper we used to call it.

My mother had, as was tradition, a little holy water font at the front door where people bless themselves on exit. She kept it topped up regularly with holy water she kept in a little bottle under the kitchen sink. Well my father had some important visitor and decided to introduce them to the Irish drink, Poitin, and heading towards the kitchen he returned with his little bottle of over proof stuff, poured a shot glass each and was about to knock back the stuff when my mother interrupted proceedings asking what he was doing with the holy water. Bedlam broke loose.... cause it transpired that we had spent the last 12 months blessing ourselves with my father's over proof poitin and they were about to sip the holy water.

Making poitin the old way!
Overproof!
I had a look at this proof thing cause I was never sure exactly what it was, seems that when sailors got paid with rum they would mix a little with gun powder to see if it ignited - if it did that was 100% proof or more that it was alright... and if it didn't it had been tampered with, ie watered down, and am sure the sailors would not have been happy campers, cutlasses out... lol.

They still have to check the alcoholic content of drink on sale in bars and pubs - but now adays it is not by setting it alight but with a little float that sinks lower the higher the alcoholic content.

Yet another piece of useless information...lol!


So with that week over a work project kicked into overdrive and it has involved me working a lot of extra hours and that finished this weekend. the DIY has just a few finishing touches but the important thing that happened this weekend was my daughters baby shower on Saturday evening. Baby showers are newish in Ireland and I am sure some of the older generation would think that it was a new way to say "baby boom"... lol.. or worse still, some new fangled device that allows you shower babies instead of having to give them baths.
Now back to sex, crawling in the traffic in the mornings the padestrians are moving faster than I am so all I can see if the bums of people passing, "Can a skirt be too short?" I wondered cause the girl passing, I swear, you could see where her legs met in the middle (or was that just wishful thinking)! So I started to think about what made an outfit sexy. I am sure it depends upon many things, so I g00gled it and have decided that it depends upon the individual. Going commando can be sexy but so can wearing certain types of underwear. It should be what makes you feel good, particularly against the skin. And then on top, there must be a hint at what is underneath but not too much, one extra open button, a touch of flesh, too much does not leave enough to be explored later.

Of course what anyone finds sexy is a matter of personal taste, but sometimes we are not the best judges of how the other sex thinks. So it occured to me that if your partner found something "sexy" would you wear for them? - The same thought applies to women and men! I am not talking about going out to do the weekly shop, but rather on the romantic night out or weekend away, or holiday or any other dressing up occasion.
And on that thought I should reply that "yes" I would, (within reason - am not sure leotards are my sort of thing... lol). I must admit that from a very young age my dress sense was ridiculous but I got away with it (I think) cause it was the 70s.

8 Comments
Harvest time in Canada
Posted:Oct 14, 2013 3:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2013 5:27 pm
166874 Views
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Take the cup of cornucopia and gather family and friends around and eat and drink and make merry to celebrate the great harvest that will see you through the darker leaner days of winter while you await the unfurling of the buds of spring.



Many peoples celebrate the harvest going back to ancient times. Although the day may be different due to different latitudes and climate, it is now a time of Thanksgiving and, today in Canada, you are celebrating the harvests of the summer - so here is hoping that you are surrounded by family and friends and celebrating in good style and health and that your cup is overflowing and that the year ahead may be even better than the year that has passed.



Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!





And if, like me, you are not Canadian or celebrating Thanksgiving today, my wishes for a great year ahead go to you as well!




13 Comments
When things do not add up!!!
Posted:Sep 30, 2013 10:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2013 4:03 pm
171683 Views

XXX
Sometimes things do not add up as expected. No this is not a mathematical post but simply something that came to note the other day.

Occasionally I see puzzles on some sites like 1 + 2 x 3 = ?

Now I remember that multiplication (and division) takes precedence over addition (and subtraction) - so working out the sum above one should get the answer 7 - but if you ask someone with words and not an equation you can get two answers depending upon where you pause...

"one plus two" (pause) "multiplied by three" and people will respond with nine!

"one plus" (pause) "two multiplied by three" and people will respond with seven!

So off to get a calculation, yeah the Windows calculator (calc.exe) will do, and type in the sum as laid out above and the calculator will return nine... or will it? Change to the scientific view (View - Scientific) and repeat the operation and the calculator will return the value seven!

Apparently a standard calculator will do the calculations as you go along and scientific calculators will wait 'til you press equals - will you ever trust a calculator again?
I come from a generation where, if a shopping bill adds up to 9 dollars(pound or euro) and 56 cents (or pence), I may offer a 10 note and then add in the extra 6 hoping that I will get a single coin in change - but it confuses the hell out of the younger generation who are completely dependent upon their calculators and their electronic tills.

And when does 2 x 24 not equal 48?

When the two is a couple of two females both aged twenty four and they hot list you and you look at their profile and it says that of they hotlist you they are interested.....
So I got to bed and dream about what I would do with two twenty four year old females whose profile pictures were "a bit of alright" and looked like they would they would be up for "a bit of how's your father". (Two expressions used in Ireland to avoid any reference to sexual attractiveness or actions.)
So the next morning I decide to get in touch...
...just like their profile suggested, but it was turned off, which I suppose was just as well, as two twenty four year old would probably kill me dead. It's not as though being with two twenty four year olds would be the same as one forty eight year old.
Seriously though...
I may be light hearted about this and many other aspects of the site, but on a serious note I do know that some people do not get the respect that they deserve or would get in real life. This is sad and a pity as it spoils things everyone sometimes. While some people may come here to be what they cannot be in real life, others come here to have their site friendships and activities as an extension of real life. The site should really re-consider their "get laid" guarantee as it offends many, including me.
"Get a date with your perfect playmate" would have be much cleaver and less offensive. While not everyone here is here to date, certainly not everyone is here for a quick lay. There is a moral issue here too, oh lol, I am not a moralist but it must be recognised that getting a date is not the same as getting laid and for some they do not want to be seen as an easy lay, or desperate or in need of sex and by displaying the "get laid" banner they do a disservice to the site members in general.

This site has many great and complex features, and many social networking sites are still playing catch up. There is the blogging, groups, video chat and chat rooms, live member web cams and lots of dynamic content. We may moan and bitch about the glitches but at the end of the day it works mostly. It is a pity that the site managers do not take on board the wishes and concerns of the site members more often. It is nice to see suggestions implemented, but on suggestions and changes there will always be those who want to leave things as they are. I hope the new site managers take on board the wishes of their members and stop the drain that seems to have been happening and get rid of the "get laid guarantee" banner.

Do you read and believe all that you read in profiles? I do mostly (read that is) and take the contents as an indication not a set of rules. But then when it comes to interaction it can take it's own course as time goes by. I've made friends here around the globe, some I've met and some I've not, and some I may meet some day, but when friendships blossom then the contents of the profile become immaterial. The secret is to be yourself cause to be anything else is doomed to failure in the end when things just do not add up!




Something some things just do not add up - sometimes they go further!

Have a sexy week everyone!
20 Comments
A smile for you this morning
Posted:Sep 22, 2013 4:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2013 1:45 am
178120 Views
I do not often do jokes, but when this one popped up I just had to share...

An elderly couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.




for those of you who cannot see the image....

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.


The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise.


Hope you are all well and feeling sexy, the troubles with the site will hopefully be resolved and we can continue to blog and exchange life's thoughts and experiences and a little hot and sexy fantasy into the bargain. Life is busy at the moment, rolls of wallpaper and ladders and bits of timber - but the room renovation is complete, now to tackle the lobby area which needs doing.


I miss you sexy people, but work is work.

27 Comments
I have a stalker lol
Posted:Aug 29, 2013 10:26 am
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2013 4:23 pm
174027 Views

I have a stalker.
I know that the theme of this weeks HNW is the great outdoors, but I have not been in the great outdoors lately, just the garden that is overlooked in parts by the neighbours and the shed is full of clutter from the decluttering. So I have to be content with the imagination.

Curtiousity may have killed the cat



but it hever hurt a fly!

But back to the stalker, I noticed that on each blog I visited and on each post I commented, I could see my stalker reading the words and looking at the pictures posted.
If you felt a little chill run down your spine it might have been the stalker walking over your profile photograph.

For when the light has faded and the laptop screen becomes the brightest thing in the room the stalker comes out of hiding and lands upon the keyboard and watches as I type, taking occasional trips to the screen, the stalker leads a charmed life. Several times I have set up a trap but the stalker is faster then I am and I only end up flicking my own knuckle or having some unexplained keystrokes appear on the screen.
Curtiousity never killed a fly



but the world wide web might!

The stalker seems to know that for as long as it stays just out of reach it will drive me insane, I do wish that the stalker would have stayed outside in the great outdoors instead of coming inside to plague me!

&

I do hope you are catching the last of the summer rays and managing to keep the flies at bay.

There is no stalker really - only that dam fly that is bothering me!
25 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Crises - what crises (12)roxy54sexy
Jun 14, 2015 2:20 pm
I got bored - or was it sun stroke (22)JN63JPN
Jun 2, 2015 8:44 pm
Only cause I was asked (13)canyaz
Apr 25, 2015 9:19 am
How far would you go... (29)zandigal
Apr 21, 2015 6:44 am
What time is it... (21)zandigal
Jan 28, 2014 2:46 pm
Is it a boat, is it a plane, No! better ask again (29)kukoocock
Jan 3, 2014 2:43 am
Wintergrey (28)JN63JPN
Nov 30, 2013 11:41 pm
Daily musings (14)LadyGrayLeopard
Oct 26, 2013 9:20 am
I have a stalker lol (32)kaytegm2
Oct 22, 2013 11:17 pm
Harvest time in Canada (16)canyaz
Oct 16, 2013 6:20 am
When things do not add up!!! (25)sensualsatiation
Oct 13, 2013 2:36 am