more dating adventures...  

gennosuke1978
0 posts
6/28/2005 8:04 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

more dating adventures...


So this one time, back in NY, I made a huge mistake.
I have odd friends, but i'm proud of them. Their friends however, are odder yet, and then acquaintances of those friends are bizarre to an extreme degree.
So one of these acquaintances, someone I liked less every time I met him, was bragging about his conquest one night. Some girl that he found, met, screwed, and then left behind in the course of a weekend.
I thought to myself, what an ass! to be proud of such behavior and flaunt it to us. Furthermore, I thought, if he was any kind of a lover he'd have stuck with her. And lastly (and most painfully) I wondered why i can never seem to have someone interested in me physically like that. That was my dating life at the time...
So one day, while cruising icq in my local town, i run accross this girl and start chatting. She starts telling me about her last aweful date, how the guy never called her and treated her like crap.
I have no idea what demon possessed me to make me ask, but i said "Hey, was his name Joe P***?"
Turns out that she was the infamous woman who screwed Joe. So, burdoned with unhealthy curiosity, and bored with my present dating life, I asked her if she'd like to hang out.
To cover my ass, I invited one of my best buddies along, and she invited a friend of hers.
When I pulled up at her dorm in my car, I could not believe that the woman standing on the curb was real. This woman had to have been pushing 350 to 400 or more lbs. Her friend was perhaps 260...
Now, I'm a big guy, so I can sympathize with big people. I can say from personal experience that two big people trying to have sex is a bit like trying to line up Mount Everest and the grand canyon on two identical Earths. It's a feat of astonomic proportions.
But aside from that, this woman was nearing the size where you would see her on the news, trapped by the size of her doorway and in need of emergency medical attention.
So, I thought, perhaps she is the nicest girl ever!
She began conversations with shocking statements like "I once summoned a demon." or "My last boyfriend was 53." which she meant in absolute sincerity. She was sarcastic and rude, and obsessed with the occult.
In all, the experience was frightening and quite insane.
What did I learn?
Do not date women that Joe has had any physical contact with.
Do not assume that because some jerk treated a girl badly, that she is automatically a nice girl.
And do not sucker my friends into my insane dates!

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