PLEASE DO IT NOW, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL ITS TOO LATE  

funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
8/24/2006 7:41 am

Last Read:
8/30/2006 4:42 am

PLEASE DO IT NOW, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL ITS TOO LATE




A letter I wrote a few weeks ago that inspired a previous post:

Hi.....

Hope the new computer is helping you get out more!
For your first email I wanted to say a few things I probably should have said before.

The first day I came into your life you loved me and it took years for me to realise I felt the same love for you.
Not only was your love unconditional you made it your goal to make me into someone who was worthwhile and conducted himself with pride and dignity.
I hope I have met those expectations.

I cannot remember a time when you were unwilling to discard and forget what you were doing just to give me your undivided attention.
There are so many things I have to thank you for there is no way I can cover them all in an email, letter or even a book.

I felt that the time had come when it was right to just emphasise how I see our relationship and what you mean to me and my life.

A couple of instances spring to mind, like the time we travelled to Newcastle on the train and had so little money we had to take biscuits with us for food. I remember we went because I wanted to compete and you made that possible. I remember the journey back when I was depressed because I did not get the result I wanted. I don’t suppose you remember saying that you were so proud you hadn’t noticed the result.
You have no idea, or maybe you do, how much that meant to me and how that one sentence inspired me and stopped me giving up.

For all those years we lived together your balance and wisdom has inspired me and your compassion motivated me.

Do you remember that time when my friend was killed and I cried and apologised to you for it? You told me that tears were the fluid that travelled through the heart to collect sadness and release it. You also said that on the way out they cleaned the eyes so you could see the beauty of the world and the blessings you have.

You said so many inspirational things that healed wounds and gave me focus over the years its impossible to repeat them all but, I have not forgotten one lesson, nor has any devalued with time.

You gave me a love of our language and instilled in me a sense of values and honesty that became second nature and you have made me a person who is comfortable with who he is..

You were there to help me from the transition from boy to man and you were my island of safety in an ocean of turmoil when my new responsibilities sometimes seemed too heavy to bear.

A positive and analytical mind tempered with wisdom and humility sets you apart from others.

You still have the child within you and your enthusiasm infects all around you with the pleasures of enjoyment. I cannot think of one situation, despite all the bad times we had where you did not see the positive side, emphasise it and make those times so easy to get through.

Do you remember the first time we bought a house together and the day we moved in? Can you remember that I went to the shop for a bottle of champagne to celebrate? I have to confess the bottle was already in the car.
I went for a drive to a lay-by so I could sit and cry by myself.
Until that day I had not realised it was possible to weep with happiness but your eyes dazzling and brilliant, your smile filling the house, the obvious joy you were feeling moved me in a way I have not been moved since.
The days after when we searched for furniture, picked curtains, the idiotic things we did in the shops were some of the best days of my life. You recall the salesman in the kitchen shop when you asked him if he had any food so you could test the cooker, and he went to find the manager??!!

Your sense of the ridiculous always floors me and epitomises your love of laughter.
The one thing I remember from the years we shared the same roof is laughter, the hard times, the lack of material possessions, everything pales into insignificance when I think of our games and laughter. You are a phenomenal influence on me, even today.

We have been through so much together and will go through more, I am sure and, as always, it will be your presence and teachings that gives me the impetus to get by.

You took on the responsibility of me with joy and giving, never resenting it or showing anything other than the beauty of your character and the willingness to love.

I have so much to say that is swimming around in my head as I reminisce and would take so long so I just want to say thank you for everything you are and did.
You were all I ever needed to get me through.
I love you mum.

D.


In true mum fashion here is her reply: (You may recognise a similarity in humour!)

Son
It was a man that designed this keyboard. He really fucked up the alphabet on it.

P.S.
Nice try, you are still not in my will but, I will give you a cuddle.
Hinge has gone on a cupboard and where are you??
You spelt impetus wrongly.
XXX proposed to me. Told him I do not like short term relationships.
He is confused.
Age I suspect.


Love

Mum.


I have, naturally deleted a number of things that are very personal but, I would like to dedicate this to all the single parents out there who read this.
The struggles you have, the heartaches you endure and the selfless acts you commit daily are awesome. Believe me, whether you’re a dad or a mother, your child/children value you as much as I value my mum. It may not be articulated (it’s taken me 46 years!) but the love and respect are there. Your battles against the odds are worth it for your offspring.
You are very special people, being mother and father to a child must be daunting and seem impossible at times. I need to tell you that despite what society says is the ‘norm’, 1 good parent is enough, really.
I wrote this after a friends mother died and he spoke to me about all the tings he wished had said to her. I felt his pain and it was not a misery I wanted to experience. Took me forever to do it.


Do yourselves a real big favour, write one for your mum or dad, or both, and send it.

I promise you the joy you will get and the release of love will make the world brighter and more beautiful for you all.

Take care.



helga_hansen 50F  
1987 posts
8/24/2006 8:46 am

I'm off to spend a few days with my mum, next week. She is a wonderful woman, and it helping me through some really tough times in her own way, which is great, considering I was separated from her for over 20 years!

As for my dad... that email may be a long time coming... our history is not a happy one, and just right now, I'm not prepared to forgive.

Hope you're having a great time T'up North!

♥♥HH♥♥


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:35 pm:
Forgiving is one of the hardest things we can do. I dont know the history and cannot judge.
See your mum as often as you can, I neglect that sometimes and get guilt because when I go and see her she locks the door, sortof a hint!!

MOfunNOWWOW 56F

8/24/2006 9:53 am

That has to be probably one of your mothers greatest treasures as she is yours.

Wonderful for you to share this special and intimate relationship with us. It gives a glimpse for some of us who have never known this type of adoration and love. Thanks...sincerely


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:38 pm:
Im sorry you havent experienced it, its the rock I built my life on and it is easy for me to be nonchalant about it sometimes. Until I see her, that is!

ZZ_Todd 61M

8/24/2006 10:13 am

Thanks FunGod... I wish I could send a little note to Mom, but she passed several years ago. I get together with my Dad once a week for our "Guys' Night Out" but, now I'm feeling ashamed. It has been too long since I said: "Dad, I love you." I'm going to do that right now.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:39 pm:
You should, you really should. Make it a regular thing, it feels so good for both people.

BaronessK 53F

8/24/2006 10:27 am

The one I love is long 'gone' and the one who tries to poison my life is still here...and she would not like the note I would write her! However, I do understand the thought behind it all...and you are sweet.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:40 pm:
Despite your projected persona, you are as sweet as anyone on this site I call friend. You are as soft as shit, its public now

rm_WackyEPP 54F
8470 posts
8/24/2006 11:06 am

I often wonder if I'm doing enough for my two boys. Is just having a Mother REALLY enough? If this post is anything to go by, I would say YES!

After reading the first two paragraphs, I knew you were writing to your Mum because I know how much you love her. Reading her response I can see why. How lucky you are.

I've lost both my parents now, but they both new how much I loved them. I miss them so much.

My only hope in life is that my boys will remember me one day as you do your Mum, with love and respect.

Thank You for sharing.



Wacky Jacky


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:42 pm:
If you wonder if you are doing enough then the chances are that you are. They will feel the same, trust me, mums are what boys love the most.

JuicyBBW1001 56F

8/24/2006 11:11 am

Damn it you made me cry. But thanks being a single parent is hard as hell but my daughter loves me unconditionally. Why just this morning on the way out the door she said Mommy tell me if any of those people call with an attitude when I come home so I can pray about them. Then she kissed me and said I love you Mommy and don't you forget it.

Juicy


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:42 pm:
That kinda thing makes life life doesn't it.

toothysmile 52M
16517 posts
8/24/2006 11:28 am

I think it's time to fix that hinge on that cupboard...
funintheday2006. oops. wrong pic!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:44 pm:
I'll send you her address, dont expect to be able to leave until you've decorated, fixed some plumbing and eaten a meal for 10 people!!!

freetime648 53F

8/24/2006 3:21 pm

No fair.....making me cry at this time of night! xxxx


xx FREETIME648 xx


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:47 pm:
Oops

TXBITCH2006 50F

8/24/2006 3:38 pm

That was so sweet. I'm a single mom and I hope my son feels that way about me one day. As far as my own mom, she's somewhere in Georgia... I think.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:49 pm:
He will, reaslly, he will, probably already does. I started appreciating my mum at about 10/11 I suppose.

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
8/24/2006 3:40 pm

Aaw, you really are a thoroughly decent chap, aren't you?

I have to say i have the best parents anyone could wish for, and try and spend as much time as i can with them. I am one of 3 sisters, and one of us is always at their house with the children. If one of us tells my mum we like something, she says: "Oh you can have it dear - i'm getting a new one." This applies to anything from a £1,000 chinese rug to a 3 piece suite. She is hilarious! My dad will look shocked, shake his head and go: "Jesus Christ!" but never stops her. He adores her. I know i am lucky, and appreciate my parents so much.

Your mum sounds like a right one. The best.

When are you gonna tell us about YOUR sisters?!!!!! xxx

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:53 pm:
Ah, the evil sisters!! Mmm, soon, many stories, you can imaginw

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
8/24/2006 4:10 pm

I call ma every week. I make it down there about once a month, oftener if I have to tighten any hinges, wouldn't want her to come unhinged. For me, she's ma, not mum, Iowa thing.

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:54 pm:
I bet you spend half the time there 'just doing a few bits and pieces' too

Damn_Dilemma 50F

8/24/2006 5:11 pm

Wow, what an intense emotion. Pity my emotion died awhile ago. BTW, this is the only profile I have right now since I got banned with 4bidden for abusing AdultFriendFinder users by naming them for attacking me on my blog but now I hope you understand why I have a back up file to protect myself intead of having to make a new profile, I'm still here and still me!
take care {=}


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 8:58 pm:
I noticed your stalker back on Foto blog.
Who is she and what is her agenda, she is starting to piss me off.
Ignore the attackers, its the only way.

Hydragenias 57F

8/24/2006 7:21 pm

Treasure your parents! you don't realize how much you'll miss them when they are gone. My mom died almost 14 yrs ago and my dad died last year. Being an orphan sucks, even when your 45.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:01 pm:
Damn, its hard at any age, parents are the foundation of life. Im sorry you havent got them to lean on any more.

SacredStarDance

8/24/2006 7:24 pm

yes treassure your mum.. I miss mine dearly.. wonderful post

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:02 pm:
I do, really, she is so beautiful, inside and out.

wishinNhoping 65F
527 posts
8/25/2006 1:38 am

Awww made me cry at this hour in the morning. I guessed you were talking about your mum after the first couple of sentences. Lost my dad 8yrs ago, crying again just thinking about it...an me a grown woman. Speak to mum every day on phone.
I brought my son up as a single parent. When he was about 10 I explained to him about his natural father and told him if ever he wanted to find him I would do everything I could to help. His reply was "I dont need to find him, I've got you and that's all I need".
Have asked him over the years (he's now 33) if he wants to find his father and his reply has always been the same. He makes me feel like the most wonderful mother.

Take care, hugzzzzzzzzzzz
P xxx


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:03 pm:
Hi babe, sons are like that!

rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
8/25/2006 11:37 am

serious sentiment here, kiddo
thank you for this heartfelt post
{=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:03 pm:
Hi babe, thank you

rm_janeraped 42F
3772 posts
8/25/2006 4:58 pm

Made me cry. Beautiful words.


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:04 pm:
oops, thank you

BRONZEHALO 48M

8/25/2006 7:09 pm

Great post Fun. Not a dry eye in the house. Thank you.

Bronzehalo 2007


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:04 pm:
Thanks mate

Dalmy67 49F

8/25/2006 7:57 pm

WOW. Awesome. When most of the world looks down on the single parent (might all be in my head mind you) you write a beautiful tribute to yr Mom. My son will be 10 soon and I have been raising him on my own for over 8 yrs. I do the best I can and hope he grows up OK and doesn't require too much therapy later on in life!!! LOL!!Cheers to you!!


funintheday2006 replies on 8/25/2006 9:06 pm:
Fuck the world if thats what they think. You meet anyone like that tell them to get the fuck out of your life. Your sons opinion is the only one worth considering. Have fun with him, thats the key.

Bobbingjoy 61F
203 posts
8/25/2006 10:03 pm

Glad you wrote and celebrated single parenthood, Fun.

As a single mom now, I sure hope my son realises similar values, even as I am daily aware of his love and care for me.

Sadly, I can't write to my parents as they both died over 13 years ago, but I'm very happy to say there was absolutely no unfinished business or angst with them. Maybe I should write them still.

Joy


funintheday2006 replies on 8/26/2006 12:30 am:
You should write it down anyway. I believe the responsibility of single parents makes them outsandingly beautiful human beings. You have to be everything to your child/children.
Few abdicate the responsibility. How humbling is that for the rest of us?

amoldenough 71F
16436 posts
8/26/2006 12:13 pm

What a beautiful tribute to your mum. She sounds like a special lady, and fun too. I am not a single parent. My son is almost 26. I wish that I thought I would get a letter like that from him. It won't be in the near future; that I am sure of.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."


funintheday2006 replies on 8/26/2006 6:14 pm:
He may be too young yet! Realisation comes with age I think. At 26 I was too busy trying to 'make it' to realise what I had that was so special. He'll get there.

Damn_Dilemma 50F

8/28/2006 8:07 am

I'm trying very hard to ignore them but at the same time you got to admit that I must be very important for them to trail me around blogville hence me not making any comments on anyonce blogs for fear that they might have to deal with these stalkers. I have a fair idea who it is but I'm not allowed to name names anymore according to AdultFriendFinder hence me losing my gold ball on 4bidden so I don't really care anymore and I'm to ill with other problems to be worried about them. Thanks for your concern tho, it means alot to me, really {=}
They'll just keep coming up with a new name everytime they get banned so I just ban them when they make comments on my blog. People must judge me on their own opinions not by what they been told or what they have heard until they know me only then can they prove otherwise. I am me and if others can't accept that then I see it as jealousy.


Damn_Dilemma 50F

8/28/2006 8:28 am

I forgot to say who that person is, I only showed that pic to one person and now he has left a trail again c0manche Nobody else ever saw that pic but him so I gues he became a woman again, This is like " The World Turns " I must stay in bed more often


scarlett14u 55F

8/29/2006 1:24 am

how odd that I should read this post today, of all days...I have been going through some rough personal times and when this happens, i pull away from my friends and family. I finally called my mother a couple weeks ago and spilled all my angst and worries in her lap...in typical mother fashion, she gave me fix it advise, as well as telling me how much water i should be drinking and what not..then today , i get a card in the mail..the card says......:

I believe...in mind over matter
I believe....in the human spirit to prevail
I believe...in miracles and blessings, both great and small
I believe.....in possibilities
i believe ......that hurdles in life are meant to be jumped over, not as something to stop us...
(open the card_

I belive.....in you. and I mean it....much, much love,..mom....

and inside there is a check for 50.00, just for me

Suddenly I was filled with a sense of pride...and I showed the letter and check to my bf and said see?...THIS is where i come from.....

I love you mom


funintheday2006 replies on 8/30/2006 4:14 am:
Brings a lump, doesn't it? How do they always know EXACTLY what to say or do??

scarlett14u 55F

8/29/2006 1:27 am

    Quoting scarlett14u:
    how odd that I should read this post today, of all days...I have been going through some rough personal times and when this happens, i pull away from my friends and family. I finally called my mother a couple weeks ago and spilled all my angst and worries in her lap...in typical mother fashion, she gave me fix it advise, as well as telling me how much water i should be drinking and what not..then today , i get a card in the mail..the card says......:

    I believe...in mind over matter
    I believe....in the human spirit to prevail
    I believe...in miracles and blessings, both great and small
    I believe.....in possibilities
    i believe ......that hurdles in life are meant to be jumped over, not as something to stop us...
    (open the card_

    I belive.....in you. and I mean it....much, much love,..mom....

    and inside there is a check for 50.00, just for me

    Suddenly I was filled with a sense of pride...and I showed the letter and check to my bf and said see?...THIS is where i come from.....

    I love you mom
btw, this is the early , pre profile of legsallthewayup..


funintheday2006 replies on 8/30/2006 4:16 am:
Let me know when its up, Ill pop across

Steel_Legs 60M/F

8/29/2006 1:49 am

Great Letter FITD,
I'm grateful that I sent such a letter to my step-mom just this year. I'm 48 and she is 82, so it was about time. She lost her only two children at 23, & 26, then my father in his 50's and managed to keep it all together, so sometimes just barely and taught me about courage and character. She is my hero and I told her so, as clearly as I could.

My real mother and I were never very close, as she battled alcoholism during her marriage to my father. She found sobriety in her 50's in a Salvation Army rescue mission, and died sober at 66. I never sent her a letter. She deserved one, but I wasn't man enough to write it. I try to remember that lack of character in me when I know I'm getting too big for my britches.

Steel_Legs
Steel


funintheday2006 replies on 8/30/2006 4:17 am:
Im glad you sent that letter. It means so much. If you remember the letter you did not send in that way, you have overcome it and any percieved character flaw is healed.

ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/29/2006 3:54 pm

A very beautiful letter to your mum...having recently lost my mom... you are right in saying that one should not wait till its too late...She had a wicked sense of humor as well...and always knew what to say and how to make me smile ...even during the toughest of times...thank you for this...*smiles*


funintheday2006 replies on 8/30/2006 4:20 am:
I hope everyone who reads this is inspired to do the same if their mother is still around. Last time I rang her she told me to stop wasting internet space with sloppy letters! Damn woman!

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