funintheday2006 57M
8366 posts
7/29/2006 8:22 pm

Last Read:
8/6/2006 12:26 am


What a fucking embarrassment that was

Not that I was bothered, you understand but, I turned up with about 3 minutes to spare outside the door of the centre.
Now, I could be forgiven for thinking that there would be no one expecting me except a few friends.
Not on your fucking life.
A small crowd to one side of the door heralded the first danger sign and the next was seeing a couple of friends dressed in leather shorts (male!!)

Posters had been erected with the following:


FREE SOFT DRINKS 12.00 ‒ 12.15


These posters were all over the place!!!

For those unaware I was wearing the uniform that had been supplied for the occasion:
Frock Coat, black, no buttons
Bright Yellow shorts
Long grey socks
Blue trainers.

That was it, no shirt allowed and no other outer garments. I looked like Forest Gump on Steroids.

It was fairly obvious who was going to do the ‘singing’

I got into the crowd eventually after being accosted by a couple of other people I knew and realised this was no badly planned event. There were at least a dozen people I know, including 2 employees and some friends had brought along wives, girlfriends and children.

The instigator, however, was nowhere to be seen.

Bollocks, I thought, let’s get it over with and I have to say I was absolutely shitting myself with nerves.

During the week I had decided to develop my own style of song which I have named Rapid which is basically rapping the lyrics as fast as you fucking can so it ends quick. It was renamed Rancid Crap by my ex friend, who I found at the head of the crowd grinning like an idiot and with a portable PA system that a shoe shop had plugged in to their electric for him. SHOE SHOP…. Many wenches, shit, I’ll never pull in this place again!!

So anyway, imagine the scene, I have an audience at this time of about 30-40 people plus the passers by and I am rapping Dancing Queen with a whistling PA and looking like a fucking over ripe banana. The worst thing for me was the bright yellow shorts, sort of drew attention to me, if you know what I mean.
Bless ‘em, the two aforementioned leather shorted friends, who, by this time, had magically aquired blonde wigs and bra’s, became a spontaneous backing duo and commenced an almost synchronised movement that I am sure they thought was dancing.
I spotted a young lady in the crowd seat herself on the floor and for a moment thought she had fainted.
No she was just crying with laughter and holding her stomach.
Red rag to a bull, people laughing encourages me, what can I say, I’m a clown.
Other people were holding out pots for donations and that appeared to be going fairly well so I thought, fuck it, I’m gonna have a good time. Finished the first song and decided a bit of stand up yapping and fun talk between the assault on music, so off I went.
When I start that idiocy I lose myself and we did not finish until almost 1 o clock.
If you have never imagined Karma Chameleon (Culture Club) being rapped then get the lyrics and try it. Fucking impossible. The prancing duo were hysterical to watch on this one and the event was drawing to a close.
Then don’t you know it…..police.
Apparently you need a licence for this kinda thing and we did not have one. The collecting money was also a naughty apparently and I told the officer (WHY did they come to me???) that I had been booked by HIM (pointing) and he assured me that all licences had been approved. Bastard!!
He is talking himself out of that one so I decided to have a natter to the poor hapless wench who was still sat down with a touch of black eye stuff on her cheek! So, that was my dinner date sorted then!!!!
In short, twatface got a caution from the police, who to their credit were just a tad amused as he gave them the full story, we collected £265 in total for the hospice everyone has had an hysterical Saturday morning and I have a date with a crop top and short wearing wench with legs up to her ears.
Pity she changed for dinner really!!
I never got back to work yesterday, no details, and got here at 3 this morning. That’s 14 hours away from the office. WOW.

Did you have a good Saturday??

rm_mmmgoodnova 107M/107F
1259 posts
7/29/2006 8:25 pm

I want to see the video.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/29/2006 9:32 pm:

JuicyBBW1001 56F

7/29/2006 8:39 pm

I wanna see pictures... And hell no I didn't have a good Saturday I was working because your child support check bounced you nevermind K sends kisses.


funintheday2006 replies on 7/29/2006 9:32 pm:
I.m sure there will be a piccy when they send me some!!!

hornylilgirl78 107F

7/29/2006 9:08 pm

The mental picture you just created for me made my Saturday great!

Still laughing...



"As kinky as a cheap garden hose!"

funintheday2006 replies on 7/29/2006 9:33 pm:
You should have been there, the yellow shorts were great

rm_xxSpecialKxx 47F
1614 posts
7/29/2006 11:37 pm

xx k

funintheday2006 replies on 7/29/2006 11:53 pm:
Aint I a prat

catkit13 67F

7/29/2006 11:50 pm

i expect to see the streaming video quite soon, you know it's not nice to withhold this kind of entertainment from your friends
priceless description - are you gonna auction off the yellow shorts for charity, as well?
my saturday seemed fun, until i read the account of yours - can't top it, won't even try
glad you had fun, fun

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 7:30 am:
Yellow shorts looking somewhat jaded now, I was 'de-bagged on the way back to the car and ripped them trying to put Nemo back in his home
Glad you had a good time too

phoenix639 50F

7/30/2006 12:26 am

This is hilarious.

Loving the outfit description too...right said fred mixed with the rocky horro picture show with a touch of graham norton.

Im in love....

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 7:31 am:
Hey, stopit, Nortons a shit lifter. Just read thyat back, Sometimes typo's are a godsent ain't they

rm_Animal_73 44M
64 posts
7/30/2006 1:24 am

Oh mate, sounds like you had a good one in the end. Will have to ask me mate who's in the fuzz force to see if she heard about it or if it was out of her region. By the sounds of it, you got the cream the cat was after and the others got the empty bowl as to say. Good for you. but as for the singing, maybe you should go see C.R.A.P...


LOL. Glad you showed em who's boss!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 7:32 am:
One of 'em was a split arse (expect a tirade now) so perhaps it was her???

IAmRubytuesday 56F
3193 posts
7/30/2006 5:05 am

Brilliant - can't write anything else for laughing!!!

Q.2 flies in an airing cupboard. Which one's the soldier?
A.The one on the tank.

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 7:33 am:
Glad I brought a smile

rm_Benkai7 56M
2358 posts
7/30/2006 6:45 am

Dear "funintheday2006".

.. it愀 good to know that you have friends taking care about you and yourself ... ... 14 hours away from the office ... ... you愉e getting more human every day ... ...

Benkai7 ... liked your saturday special event ... smile ...

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 7:35 am:
To be honest, it was a blast, we all had a great time in the end. I've now decided the easiest way to pull a woman is to wait until she's laughing so much her resistance weakens Works for me

rm_WackyEPP 54F
8470 posts
7/30/2006 7:04 am

After that description.... I REALLY would have paid money to see it. PLEASE tell me you have pic's.

Well done you.


Wacky Jacky

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:09 am:
I will post a pic as soon as I get sent one

TabithaElectra 39F

7/30/2006 9:01 am

You promised photos...

...still waiting!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 9:04 am:
When I get them, I'll post them When are you gonna finish that bloody lollipop and start on the wine again??

rm_iwannatellu 46F
933 posts
7/30/2006 11:18 am

WOuld have loved to be there!


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 6:36 pm:
You would'nt, trust me it was not pretty

rm_xxSpecialKxx 47F
1614 posts
7/30/2006 1:37 pm

Aint I a prat

No fucking way hun id say you have some seriousssssssssssssssss balls, bottle, & obviouslyyyyy no shameeeeeeee what so ever lol but not definatelyyyyyyyy not a prat i think ya wicked hun mwahhhh dont ever change xxxxxxk

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 6:37 pm:
Ah, now w eagree on the shame bit, I am a fool wherever and whenever except at work. I hate work

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/30/2006 5:13 pm

Can we hope to see you perform at the next Dibley village church fete?


funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 6:39 pm:
Ooo, my fav TV series. Wish I could, love her! Now where have you two Foul Faced Fornicating Females been all weekend?? I thought you were coming to the barbie yesterday. I ain't used to being stood up by winsome wenches you know

Balibabe19 43F

7/30/2006 6:36 pm

Will now google the event for any exculsive pics...fingers crossed..LMAO

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:56 pm:
Don't hold your breath!! Keep watching the pop charts

Damn_Dilemma 50F

7/30/2006 6:55 pm

Congratulations!!!!!! I'm proud of you {=}{=}{=}
Bet it was a blast tho, pity I wasn't there to see for myself

funintheday2006 replies on 7/30/2006 8:56 pm:
Confession: I was still a bit tipsy from the night before so my senses were numbed a little

maverick1255 52M
3953 posts
7/30/2006 11:05 pm

Wow, quite an event that turned out to be!!! LMAO!!!!!

I am sure that I would have had to call the emergency to come an get me!! I would not have been able to catch my breath from laughing!!! LOL!!!

But, in the end - 14 hours away from work - she sounds like she (you both) had Fun!!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:39 am:
I must have fallen asleep at dinner<

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/31/2006 12:10 am

"and I have a date with a crop top and short wearing wench with legs up to her ears.
Pity she changed for dinner really!!
I never got back to work yesterday, no details>, and got here at 3 this morning."

We tried to call you for dinner but you couldnt be reached !!!!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 5:39 am:
Next Monday then. I was full yesterday and so was...., well, thats another story

PeterPiper2020 49M  
127 posts
7/31/2006 5:56 am

There you go then, that wasn't so bad.

Everybody went away happy - some more than others!! (if you are telling the truth) And the 'instigator' ran into some bother too!!


Worryingly normal, Frighteningly sane and Intriguingly different!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 6:03 am:
Truth is there, believe me. He didn't get into trouble really, copper was pissing himself when he told him about his flat

rm_sexxikritter 53F
2715 posts
7/31/2006 5:57 pm

Gee, and all I did was go to a Bluegrass Fest. Shoulda hopped the redeye!
Can't wait to see the pics!

funintheday2006 replies on 7/31/2006 8:11 pm:
Me neither

economickrisis 56M

8/1/2006 10:11 pm

I hope yer stage name isnt Garry Glitter mate

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